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Original poster

The things people say to SN children or their parents

28 replies

KateLennard · 03/07/2017 15:10

DS1 ASD
School; have you thought about taking up yoga? He is clearly picking up on your stress.
I know all the experts say he has really bad anxiety but we can't see it so it can't be that bad.
Another parent, "reassuringly " He doesn't look autistic.

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The1andonlyFrusso · 03/07/2017 17:40

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BoogleMcGroogle · 03/07/2017 18:28

A well meaning busybody suggested my son's neurodevelopmental and immune system problems would almost certainly be solved by a juice cleanse. This raised two issues

  1. He's rather eat his own toes than drink strange, green, gloopy stuff
  2. He has a perfectly functioning liver, which suggests that cleansing is not the problem here.
muckypup73 · 03/07/2017 19:48

Have you been on this course?

TwoBobs · 03/07/2017 21:32

"If he copes with Christmas, he can't be autistic"

The1andonlyFrusso · 03/07/2017 21:53

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FlipFlopCottonTail · 03/07/2017 22:05

a man walked past dd having a meltdown in the street called out 'drama queen' loudly as he walked past Hmm

muckypup73 · 03/07/2017 22:20

After mychild had tried killing himself, we went up to the hospital and a local nurse came to see us, she said he is not autistic he has given me eye contact for the 5 mins we have been talking!!!

His speech therapist that we had seen for years, put in his report 3 months later that he did not give eye contact in the 45min assesment!!!

I was quite upset!!!

TwoBobs · 03/07/2017 22:52

The1andonly
It was his SENCO....

I've had all of your three too!

muckypup73 · 03/07/2017 22:57

FlipFlopCottonTail, we had a I am phoning the police!!! in Sainsburys,oddly enough noneof the check out staff came near us!

Shybutnotretiring · 04/07/2017 00:10

Don't get me started! First meeting with Reception teacher about DS being SN. Her first question: where does your mother come from? Her second question: how do you get on with DS's father [I am a single mother].

Original poster
KateLennard · 04/07/2017 06:58

Oh yes to; Have you tried a parenting course?
But he's so bright. (He is actually, doesn't mean he isn't ASD).

The paediatrician said; but he has good eye contact. Firstly he doesn't actually and secondly it's not part of the diagnostic criteria.

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Original poster
KateLennard · 04/07/2017 07:02

First assessment for ASD (after three years of seeing peadiatrician.) He isn't autistic but may turn out to be when he's older. We had to wait another year for a second opinion with someone who actually knew their stuff.

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Original poster
KateLennard · 04/07/2017 07:12

In same first assessment "its" probably just that he is in sufficiently attached to you.

"It" turned out to be ASD, ADHD, and various SLDs. But oh no, it must be the refrigerator mother issue!

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Original poster
KateLennard · 04/07/2017 07:12

SPLDs

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Original poster
KateLennard · 04/07/2017 07:16

Specific learning difficulties

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The1andonlyFrusso · 04/07/2017 07:44

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FlipFlopCottonTail · 04/07/2017 08:12

Aw pup Sad people really need to be more aware

readyornot2011 · 04/07/2017 11:23

'Delinquent child, delinquent mother!'

Followed by 'your daughters beautifully behaved, why can't your son behave like that, he's digesting, I wouldn't have him in my house'
After 2.5yo quietly wandering around table in cafe and getting crumbs on the floor (cafe didn't have high chair and he didn't want to sit still)

So I'm only a delinquent mother to my son? And why would we want to go to your house you miserable old bat?

I still cry when I think about that day

readyornot2011 · 04/07/2017 11:24

Disgusting, not digesting!

elliejjtiny · 08/07/2017 11:52

I've got loads, nobody ever says anything to DH though, wish I knew why, maybe he is scary looking!

  • about DS2 who is a wheelchair user "at least he's not autistic"
  • about DS1 who has aspergers syndrome "it's not like he's properly disabled/properly autistic"
  • about DS2 and DS4 "they don't need wheelchairs"
  • various comments about how my dc don't need dla, that we get loads of "free stuff", that we only had dc to get dla money and a "free car", that I shouldn't get carers allowance to look after my own dc.
  • ds2 is disabled because I had pnd/cuddle him too much/mollycoddle him/don't feed him enough
  • "we're all a bit autistic"
  • "he's so advanced for his age" (about DS4 who has global development delay and is developing about half as fast as other children his age)
  • he'll be ugly when he's born but I expect you'll love him anyway (about ds4 who was diagnosed with a cleft lip during pregnancy)
NoHaudinMaWheest · 08/07/2017 14:27

ellie those are all dire and it must be so wearing especially when you have more than one dc with disabilities. Flowers - not much compensation I know.

zzzzz · 09/07/2017 11:40

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pandyandy1 · 11/07/2017 21:34

One of the know it all dads from my daughters' school, in regards my pre school Son (pre diagnosis)... "No, he's not on the spectrum, he's fine!!!"
In my head... "And you are sure are you? Because you have absolutely nothing to do with child development and you only see my son once a week at my daughters' half an hour swim session!?!"
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

My pain in the arse Sister In Law "He's just a boy!" (She has two girls) and following diagnosis "he'll be fine, he'll just excel in a subject like maths or science!"
In my head..."You do know Autism doesn't necessarily equal Rain Man don't you!?!"

My own sister, pre diagnosis "so what if he IS backwards? What will you do?"
In my head..." Thank Christ he was born to me dear sister and not you. Think at 3 he is certainly already more intelligent than you!"

Friends when I would unburden my thoughts as to why I thought my Son's development was different "yeah but my daughter does that! Yeah but my Son does that! Yeah but my neice/nephew/little cousin/god child/neighbours grandchild does that etc etc etc!"
In my head "Please credit me that I probably wouldn't mention these things unless my gorgeous Son did ALL of the afore mentioned!!!"

Good thread...quite a relief getting these if my chest Smile

Original poster
KateLennard · 12/07/2017 17:22

He is not being bullied. It's a series of unconnected incidents! 😡. Bullying is a series of incidents!

Senco; if you get him an EHCP, no local secondary school will take him.
Me; I wouldn't want him to go to a school that didn't want him
Senco, then you'll have to go a long way!

And, of course; are you sure you want him labelled? From so many professionals over the years.

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The1andonlyFrusso · 12/07/2017 17:55

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