So come and educate me are these things normal for an AS child?

[TheLadyEvenstar]

DS1 has always been shall we say "different"

First sentence at 10m - witnessed not just by me.
Reading by 2.4yrs
Spelling complex words by 3yrs.

You could take him anywhere and he would just sit - you would have been excused if you were with me and not realised he was there tbh.

Slept 2 hours a night from 4yrs - 8yrs old then progressed to approx 4-6hrs a night up to now and he is soon 13.

Went through a year of eating plain pasta not even cheese on it
then the following year went to dry bread.

Went from being dry at day and night to urinating in corners at about 5yrs old.

Never had a friend as such.

Eating sweetcorn until the cows come home and suddenly stopped eating it.

Very sensitive to noise, crowds, lights, touch.

Still struggles with laces and buttons.

DETESTS being made to change his clothes.
Almost impossible to get him to shower - although that could be teen years setting in.

I think thats it for now, I just need to know what is normal development for a 12yr old and what is due to him being AS?

Hope you don't mind me asking.

Much of that seems to be normal-for-us-lot-on-the-spectrum, yes. Many teenagers hate the idea of being clean, though

TLES I was on your other thread comparing 12yo ASD boys (was jaspants just had a name change)

My DS is very very similar to yours, his biggies are noise sensitivity; poor sleep (often awake when we want to go to bed); sensory issues with clothing - I'm a dab hand at getting labels out of clothes - not allowed to leave any part of it behind and not allowed to have loose threads either or he can't wear them etc etc

Also is it "normal" for him to be able to control his hyper behaviour and antics when HE is at family members homes without me but when I am there then so are the behaviours....am I the cause? the safety net or what?

Uni, yes I remember. I am just worriying about so much atm.
I have DS2 who is 3 and I am panicking about certain things because he is not as forward as DS1 was at the same age.

He has no interest in reading etc.

Most of that is my son and he has asd.

*First sentence at 10m - witnessed not just by me.
Reading by 2.4yrs
Spelling complex words by 3yrs.

Ability to spot patterns - AS trait

*You could take him anywhere and he would just sit - you would have been excused if you were with me and not realised he was there tbh.

"Withdrawal" from stressful situations - have seen this in people with AS, although it often involves hiding under a table

*Slept 2 hours a night from 4yrs - 8yrs old then progressed to approx 4-6hrs a night up to now and he is soon 13.

Bad sleeping, common to people with AS. Have you tried melatonin? Works for some, not so good for others.

*Went from being dry at day and night to urinating in corners at about 5yrs old.

Regression. Only seen this in DNiece, but then she's the only person with AS that I've met who was under 7!

*Never had a friend as such.

How does he get on with his peer group? Does he avoid them or join in the games? Does he always have to lead the group and get upset if they don't do what he wants?

*Eating sweetcorn until the cows come home and suddenly stopped eating it.

*Very sensitive to noise, crowds, lights, touch.

Sensory issues, possibly an element of control in there. Very ASD!

*Still struggles with laces and buttons.

Fine motor control problems can be co-morbid with ASD. How's his hand-writing?

*DETESTS being made to change his clothes.
Almost impossible to get him to shower

Could be either!! have you noticed a pattern as to what clothes, toiletries he prefers? A fair amount of folk with ASD struggle with the feeling of clothes, soap/shower gel, taste of certain toothpaste etc

Any use?

Purple thats it I love you ok seriously yes very helpful.

Clothes he favours 2 pairs of trousers 1 are old cotton track bottoms the other are faded (ewwwww) combats both of which look like they need a boil wash but have had many iyswim?

He hates shower gel as it is "Slimey" but then uses an entire bottle at a time because he tips it on the sponge and drops it as it touches his hand and is cold.

His handwriting is atrocious!!!!!

He was DX as AS and having hightened senses - overly sensitive i think they said.

He hates quilt covers as they crease and sheets for the same reason - people have looked at me oddly when told this in the past.

Sleeping - I have not tried it but have been given phenergan and vallergan in the past when he was a lot younger.

Now I just let him go to his room and he generally watches a film. As long as he is quiet it is ok as I don't want anyone else disturbed.

He has suddenly in the last few weeks taken to cleaning his bedroom daily.

He also has no idea of a joke and cannot relay one back to you.

Today I asked him to walk a route to where I was that we had walked on Monday. I asked him to tell me which way he needed to go. He was not able to "explain the whole journey" to me. These were his words.

Wow, you could be describing my AS son (now 9) even the dry pasta and bread.
Literally the only differences are his spelling isn't great and he doesn't particularly like sweetcorn (so swap that for curry!!).

LMG - The sweetcorn is long gone....now it is the food sent by the devil to poison him

Yep, sounds pretty typical AS to me - don't lose heart, he can and will learn to function in our world (I started off 6 years ago in a residential school for lads with AS and HFA btw. Of the ones I still know about: one is a kitchen porter after we chucked him through NVQ1 to help him understand and control his weight issues. One is off to uni in Sept having just finished A levels at mainstream college. Both ex key students of mine which is how I know)

Washing: bar of soap on very wet warm sponge, rinse off with shower head afterwards (works for Dude II at current work) check out Lush for bars of shampoo.

Get him a couple of these to sleep in in winter, if he gets cold. Sheets are not such a big deal

Cleaning his room probably means he's trying to exert control in a weird and confusing world. It's the (probable) reason why lining up objects by colour/size is such an early indicator

Purple, funny you linked to them as he asked for some last year when he saw them in primarni aka primark.

atm he wants to (and does) wear one of these 2 outfits to bed. I end up washing them in the day when he is at school. then get moaned at.

Washing pyjamas every day? You could probably get away with it every 3-4 tbh. It's only in residential care we're not allowed to let them wear the same clothes two days running

(in case relatives think we don't wash the clothes)

"Reading by 2.4yrs" check, ds sees a word once and memorises it, didnt do phonics.

"Spelling complex words by 3yrs" check, as above.

"You could take him anywhere and he would just sit - you would have been excused if you were with me and not realised he was there tbh" check, he has been this way since a toddler.

"Slept 2 hours a night from 4yrs - 8yrs old then progressed to approx 4-6hrs a night up to now and he is soon 13" check, sleeping still a big issue.

"Went through a year of eating plain pasta not even cheese on it
then the following year went to dry bread" check, ds is exactly the same, but without the pasta and it has lasted 7 years so far.

"Went from being dry at day and night to urinating in corners at about 5yrs old" check, ds is fine with urine, but still soils, he is 7.

"Never had a friend as such" check.

"Eating sweetcorn until the cows come home and suddenly stopped eating it" check, exactly the same, just not sweetcorn.

"Very sensitive to noise, crowds, lights, touch" check, he says touch, feels prickly.

"Still struggles with laces and buttons" check, he still cannot ride a bike and any movement where both feet leave the ground makes him sick. He also cannot open packets or unscrew lids etc.

"DETESTS being made to change his clothes" check, says the pulling over head and pushing arms and legs through burns his skin.

"Almost impossible to get him to shower - although that could be teen years setting in" check, water also burns his skin and tipping head back for hair wash is impossible.

Only thing they dont have in common is that my ds is 7, not 12!

Claw3, try a jug of water over the head, it doesn't have the "prickles" in that showers do with clothes, try different fabrics. Aertex polo shirts are quite rough, a cotton rugby shirt might be easier for him for example.

I have a sideline making clothes for kids, with a bias towards this kind of thing. PM me if you want to

Purple, sorry i didn't make it clear they are not PJ's I am washing but DS1 will change out of his uniform as soon as he gets in put either of the pairs of trousers and a tee on and wear them all evening and then to bed, if we are going out the following day there is a HUGE battle to get him to take the dirty slept in clothes off and put clean ones on. So when he is at school I was what he has slept in as they are outdoor clothes.

He doesn't like PJ's as they crease but doesn't like sleeping in his boxers.

Thanks purple, it seems to be the tipping the head back that really bothers him, then of course where he wont tip his head back, the water then goes into his eyes and all hell breaks out! At the moment, i have to do it with a flannel, not very effective at getting the shampoo out, but stops the screaming.

He will tolerate school uniform and track suit bottoms with all labels cut out of course, then the minute he walks through the door it comes off and he puts his PJ's on. So unless we are going out, he stays in PJ's. Buying clothes for ds, is a total waste of money.

Do you make PJ's?

Claw I know that feeling!!!

In fact DS1 refuses new clothes in favour of worn out ones as he doesn't like the feel of new clothes. He too tolerates uniform and shoes OMG what a pain they are!!!

Thelady, one thing i have found helps a bit with buying new clothes or shoes (i should say trainers, ds refuses to wear shoes) is if i let him help to choose them. I then stand half a chance that he will wear them!

Would also like to add to the list of 'normal' things for ASD children, running, ds does not walk anywhere he runs!

He is also always spinning and crashing into things, thank god for trampolines!

We also have the tics which seem to be constantly present in some form, either verbal tics or head/hand shaking or twitching and legs which cant keep still even when sitting.

Claw, DS is a chewer - he chews his finger nails and knuckles when he is stressed.

Try chew toys - like P&Qs or chewy tubes. They are fab for stressful situations.

Sorry, TLE, thought you meant he slept in clean jammies every night seems such a waste washing them at work, although it has to be done. I don't bother at home

Claw, I could make some black or grey pj-style trousers for school?

Dneice is a chewer, her favourite at the moment is electrical cables! Chew toys etc do nothing for her

Thanks purple that is really kind of you, but ds HAS to wear school uniform, he is not allowed to even wear track suit bottoms.

I know i should have a battle with the school over this, but at the moment i am fighting for a statment and for ds to get more help in school etc and need to pick for battles for now.

This all sounds very like my ds (AS 9 years old).

He's another one that we have to force to bathe/shower and the first thing he does when he comes in the house from anywhere is run upstairs and put his PJs on.

We also have to literally prise his favourite clothes off him to was them - he wouldn't change his undies if he didn't have to and if we don't check he will just put another pair of pants or socks over the top of the previous days pair! The other week we discovered at bath time on Sunday evening that he was wearing two pairs of pants and three pairs of socks (including two pairs of school socks).

He was about the same age as your ds, TLES, when he started using sentences (but then so was dd and she is clearly nt) and just like your ds, he was so well behaved when we took him out you'd hardly know he was there. He never complained about hunger or thirst - didn't even cry for milk as a baby and still doesn't know if he's hungry or thirsty even now.

He also has no temperature gauge, so will wear a thick fleece in summer and a vest, short and no socks in the snow if we'd let him. Actually he prefers to be barefoot all year round.

He does have a really good best friend, but this is more down to the caring nature of the lovely boy he is friends with than his own social skills.

He has never been able to hold his head back to have his hair washed but has a serious sensory issue with water on his face.

In our case he loathes sweetcorn and any sort of bean or pulse with a vengeance (not good for an emphatic vegetarian) but would eat pasta for every single meal if he could (not good for someone who's paed and dietician have said he should be treated as coeliac - gf pasta is ridiculously expensive).

He is happy to eat certain foods for years, then all of a sudden decides he hates them an retches if we even try to make him eat them.

At the age of 7 he had a reading age in excess of 12.5 (they couldn't test any higher as they didn't have the tests, but estimated between 13 and 14 years).

He has always been able to spell pretty much anything without even trying - much to the annoyance of his younger brother, who really has to work at it.

He's not good in crowds and in particular shopping mall type places with bright lights and echoes etc tend to send him into shutdown.

Claw, we have tics as well, we've gone through exaggerated blinking, screwing up his face and throat clearing this year and are now on head shaking.

It seems we all have very similar dses.

Nice to know inclusion policies work so well, isn't it Claw

DNephew (nearly 4) is NT but does the sock thing too - in his case, it's because he's so proud of his new skill