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SN children

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Original poster

Awful noise- help before I go insane

54 replies

Jimjams · 04/09/2005 09:43

Ds1 has always screamed when peed off - doesn't bother me. He's often whacked his head hard as well- which bothers me a lot less than it does dh (unless its on glass when I freak). But he has now developed this awful "i'm not 100% happy noise" that is sending my blood pressure through the roof. I can only describe it as a motorcycle moving up through the gears- so it goes " uuuuuuuur, pause, urrrrrrrr, pause urrrrrrrr, pause" you get the idea- we call it growling, but its not. He started just using it when he was very cross- now he's using it all the time. Doesn't like the TV show "urrrr", wants a biscuit "urrrrr" wants to go outside "urrrr". annoyed the toilet won't flush 15 times in a row "urrrr"

WTF do I do before I go insane? Very insane. Following on from the previous thread thank goodness we have tolerant neighbours. Oh god he's in the garden doing it now (dh with him).

The obvious answer is to redirect to PECS for requests, but that does nothing for the peed off bits. How do I get him to scream again before I go mad? Please please please?

OP posts:

Original poster

Jimjams · 04/09/2005 09:58

Of course at the moment it is being completely reinforced because as soon as it starts he gets a response. But he's a bit uptight at the moment so we can't ignore for too long as he moves onto headbanging and he's not safe then.

Oh god I don't know what to do- school are going to love me. (well him). I'd better warn them.

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SherlockLGJ · 04/09/2005 09:59

Do they know he is SN ??

Original poster

Jimjams · 04/09/2005 10:06

who? school? yes it's a SLD/PMLD school (for severe learning difficulties/profound and multiple learning difficulties). Just hope there aren't too many nise sensitive children in the class as he'll be a bit unbearakle for him- especailly as I think he'll be oldest by far - poor babies.

Or did you mean neighbours? My neighbours are great- someone else had problem neighbours. - or neighbours who couldn't cope with the noises.

Most noises I can ignore- but this one gets under my skin and crawls around.

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Original poster

Jimjams · 04/09/2005 10:06

he'll be unbearable for them.

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SherlockLGJ · 04/09/2005 10:07

I meant the school.

I am going to say this and it may not come out correctly so bear with me.

SherlockLGJ · 04/09/2005 10:09

The school are trained to deal with this sort of behaviour, when he is in school, can you not use the time to recharge your batteries.

Or is that stupid NT reply ??

And I wont be offended if the answer is yes.

coppertop · 04/09/2005 10:10

I wish I had some ideas for you. My ds1's nerve-jangling noise was a "Eee ee urr! Eee ee urr!" repeated over and over as some kind of irritating stim. The only way to get him to understand how annoying it was was to repeat it whenever he did it. Tbh I think he probably stopped because he'd moved on to something else rather than because of us copying it. Hopefully someone else will have some ideas.

Original poster

Jimjams · 04/09/2005 10:12

Yep- but I'll still get 5 hours of it each evening and an hour and half each morning And tbh it's pretty awful when out and about as we are instantly the circus show. I do feel sorry for school as well as noises can really set some of the children off. So awful noise, someone hits him to shut up, another one screams and all hell breaks loose. Luckily he's staying in the same class so they're used to him.

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Original poster

Jimjams · 04/09/2005 10:13

ah mum tried that CT (doing it back to him), at least its not a stim! It would be continual. If he caries on he;ll lose his voice I guess or go hoarse-(he he) it gives me a sore throat after about 2 goes.

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SherlockLGJ · 04/09/2005 10:13

A stupid NT suggestion

I am constantly in awe of everyone on the SN board.

Original poster

Jimjams · 04/09/2005 10:14

no- not stupid - I have said "thank god he's back to school next week" so I can have a break from it. Just think I need t do something but have no idea what!

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SoupDragon · 04/09/2005 10:21

How would you normally stop reinforcing something?

Davros · 04/09/2005 10:21

Oh bugger Jimjams! The only thing I can say is that DS has had such a range of noises over the years that it will probably change. Its funny when you wish they'd go back to sometihng that drove you insane as they've started something that drives you even more insane! I know some of the other kids at DS's school are quite noise sensitive and DS is a noisy one, although he wasn't always. He also picks things up from other kids, environment, the inside of his strange brain etc. I also try copying things he does sometimes, I find it surprises him and sort of makes him aware of it. Not sure it actually reduces it though. I would tell school and see if they can come up with a strategy, I bet he'll do it less at school anyway. Sherlock's right, it is their job after all, no matter how difficult/annoying. Good luck until school starts.

Original poster

Jimjams · 04/09/2005 10:54

normally we'd ignore it SD- but can't if he moves onto headbanging (because he'll headbang corners and our ropey illegal thin glass windows).

I know what you mean Davros. he used to hate the hoover and love aeroplanes. Now other way round. Tiny pleasure planes send him off the planet. I took him to the beach yesterday- suddenly he was screaming and headbanging the sand dune (looked ridiculous) and I couldn't work out why until I spotted a tiuny plane I could hardly hear. Got him to screech ":bye bye aeroplane" then the bloody thing started circling the bay. My language turned blue. Mind you I did manage to hoover the house this morning- even under the washing machine!

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SoupDragon · 04/09/2005 10:58

I've got some of that safety film for glass knocking about if you'd like it? Never got round to using it.

SoupDragon · 04/09/2005 11:00

What reaction do you give to the noise? and can you spot it coming and distract him before he gets there?

(just spouting nonsense off the top of my head )

Original poster

Jimjams · 04/09/2005 11:05

we need to replace the windows really- but thanks. Usually the reaction is "what do you want- show me" - but its quick. Very hard to ignore though. I do try "get a PECS" but he urrrs all the way through that as well. And sometimes its a comment rather than a request iyswim.

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SoupDragon · 04/09/2005 11:12

How about ear plugs then? I can send you some ear plugs?

No way you can intervene without it seeming like a reaction but just appearing to be a normal continuation of whatever you were (or were not) doing. Or if you genuinely want him to start screaming again instead, what happens if you respond with a scream? not a serious suggestion!)

It's annoying enough when my NT DSs make annoying noises but at least they stop if I ask them enough times. You have my sympathies.

aloha · 04/09/2005 11:30

At school it is definitely the school's problem - don't waste emotional energy worrying about that. As for how it affects you, um, run away screaming?
Deep breaths? Visualisation of nice quiet pub and big gin and tonic?

happymerryberries · 04/09/2005 11:35

And I'm 100% sure the school has seen this, and worse, before and will take it in their stride. So don't beat yourself up about that part of it. Well, don't beat yourself up at all! IYSWIM

I'm sure that he will change the noise and it may well go as quickly as it came.....bugger all use atm as I fully realise

Can you have an urrrrr PEC? can he carry it at all times, attached to him by a key fob?

SherlockLGJ · 04/09/2005 11:39

Aloha

Excellent post that is basically what I was trying to say, but I am sleep deprived

First and third post

I am fading fast.

aloha · 04/09/2005 11:41

Oooh Sherlock, that sounds horrid.

Original poster

Jimjams · 04/09/2005 16:33

I'm not worried about school- not in the way I was when he was ay ms- just feel sorry for them and know they'll be taking the piss at the next coffee morning (his teacher will anyway)

I did the noise back to him and he looked confused and put his hands over his ears. ds3 burst into tears!

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PeachyClair · 04/09/2005 16:58

It's the screaming that gets me, DS1 does it ofor hours (really high pitched) and the other two copy it as well.

SoupDragon · 04/09/2005 18:22

Has he made it since you did it back at him? Poor DS3 though!

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