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Original poster

thats it, i give up :( too tired to fight anymore

30 replies

lisad123isgoingcrazy · 20/07/2010 10:02

Just been to DD2 new preschool she was due to start in Sept. Early years have been in, TAC arrange to offer 1 to 1 support and everyone on board. Now They asked for a copy of CTC letter for this year. When asked if we recieve higher than family element of CTC (eg £10 week) the answer was yes as we get more because DD1 gets DLA. Now they are saying we wont get funding at all because DH earns over £16k Oh and they have changed her from a morning to afternoon place too which makes my life hell.

I feel like telling them all to stick it up their arses and i'll just cope as i have been for the last 2 years.
When does the child ever come first. Situation of one DD with HFA, one with possible ASD and a husband with cancer but because we have money coming in we couldnt possibily need any help they have no idea how high my morgage is, and the bills i have to pay.
I just cant afford £200 a month, but know now if i dont find it DD2 will miss out or early imput.
Im in tears, im stuck I just dont know what to do

OP posts:
hanaka88 · 20/07/2010 10:05

Don't give up! they said yes and no to my friend every time se rang she was getting different answers...ring again and moan a lot....although I'm sure you got better things to be doing then starting yet another fight

hope ur ok

Hassled · 20/07/2010 10:08

Is there a Parent Support Adviser in your area? School/preschool office will know. That might be a good person to talk to - might help fight some of the battle for you.

tribunalgoer · 20/07/2010 10:09

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Original poster
lisad123isgoingcrazy · 20/07/2010 10:16

She's not even 3 yet, is there an age for statements?
TBH I would rather find the money and send her to the specialist preschool they recommended 2 days a week, than pay for the normal preschool with support, but was going down that route because thats what we could afford. I have just quit my job at end of may because it was all too much going on in our house.
We have no SS involvement at all, tbh we have just been left to it most of the time because we cope, we get no help at all.

I will pick it up, but just fill like i have hit a wall, and not sure where to go with it tbh. Either way Im going to have to find £££ I really dont have

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tribunalgoer · 20/07/2010 10:32

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tribunalgoer · 20/07/2010 10:35

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Original poster
lisad123isgoingcrazy · 20/07/2010 10:39

LOL tribunalgoer, I think Im like you, I cant collapse in tears and self pity, I have too many people that need me here and sane (although im getting close to not being sane)

Have called SNHV just now, waiting for her to get back to me. Its hard because Im pretty sure a statement who be turned down as shes early on in dx process.

Do you know my area?
Yes get carers allowance but thats for DD1, and tbh the only reason i could quit work was because DLA, carers and CTC covered bills.

OP posts:
SanctiMoanyArse · 20/07/2010 10:41

Is there homestart etc near you? I know you know the system as well as anyone with your background, but when i worked for homestart, me and my colleagues at surestart each held a number of nursery palces we could alolcate on need over income- so the kids with a terminally ill DMum got a place etc

other thing I am thinking is Macmillan; have you talked to them about taking funding from the aspect of your DH?

SanctiMoanyArse · 20/07/2010 10:42

Oh and carers allowance isn't for dd1; that's DLA. carer's is for you and whatever helps your life.

Most of mine goes to two morning a aweek with a CM for Bas.

tribunalgoer · 20/07/2010 10:44

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Original poster
lisad123isgoingcrazy · 20/07/2010 11:04

we have homestart here, and they were offered to us when DH got sick, however when the manager turned up it was someone i knew proffessionally and i was so I sent her away telling her we didnt need help at that time (i know very stupid)
carers allowance pays the bills

We are in the process of applying for DLA for DD2 but i know DD1's took 9 months and tribunal before we got it, and by then DD2 will be in nursey if it takes that long.

How do I go about looking into statement for DD2?
She isnt too bad tbh, she has some speech delay especially respeptive, echolalia, falls a lot and is very self directed. the reason for the one to one support is to help her access activites and join in (she does like others really) and to stop her hitting out at other children when they get close.

OP posts:
Original poster
lisad123isgoingcrazy · 20/07/2010 11:06

and day gets worse! just had call from macmillian nurse about DH last blood results.

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tribunalgoer · 20/07/2010 11:12

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Original poster
lisad123isgoingcrazy · 20/07/2010 11:16

drugs arent working now need to go and discuss other options on 4th Aug. Looks like transplant might be on the cards. not sure how to keep it all together today

OP posts:
siblingrivalry · 20/07/2010 11:24

Oh lisa, sending {{{hugs}}}
I really, really feel for you. So sorry it's not good news.

sc13 · 20/07/2010 11:29

So sorry to hear about all this

Original poster
lisad123isgoingcrazy · 20/07/2010 11:34

as crap days goes, this one is a huge poo so far. Im ok, just wndering whatt he man who is coming to look at/fix sofa's will say when some red eyed monster answers the door!

Right must pull myself together now.

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AttilaTheMeerkat · 20/07/2010 11:44

Lisa

Apply for the Statement asap; these can be granted to preschool children. IPSEA have model letters you can use on their website and you do not need a dx in order to apply.

Wouls also suggest you get Homestart back on board too and keep talking to MacMillan.

I am very sorry to learn about DH's blood results.

Original poster
lisad123isgoingcrazy · 20/07/2010 16:45

thanks

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ArthurPewty · 20/07/2010 17:13

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WetAugust · 20/07/2010 18:34

Also write (not phone) social services and ask for a Carer's Assessment. They could fund the pre-school if they thought it necessary to provide support/give you a regular break.

Best wishes

SanctiMoanyArse · 20/07/2010 19:10

Talk to the MAcmillan nurse; we used to have a stock of resources for funding in my County that they used, she would have ideas.

Also wrt to carers yep us too, used for bills; it waas paying £25 a month for me to go to a gym club but that got cancelled this month as we can't afford it. C'est la vie huh?

And

'manager turned up it was someone i knew proffessionally and i was so I sent her away telling her we didnt need help at that time (i know very stupid)
'

Guess why we don't get HomeStart help? Becuase I feel exactly the same. Which is iodd becuase we were good, but nonetheless....

about bloods.

ShadeofViolet · 20/07/2010 20:20

Carers allowance is paid to you because as a carer you cant therefore go out and earn. Thats how I see it anyway and our Carers allowance goes towards bills too.

Sorry that things are going so bad Lisa. I dont have any advice but I hope you can get it sorted (or go to your MP - thats my advice on everything!)

SanctiMoanyArse · 20/07/2010 20:21

Also, i;ve just been sent a message on facebook about the UK Autism FOundation- they may well have info as it sounds like this is their sarea of specialty.

If your DH is facing a transplant, how will that affect the work / income situation Lisa?

roundthebend4 · 20/07/2010 21:50

lisa if need any help or a ear just yell dont think im to far .

Hmm know lot of dc have had statements from 2 , but know we struggle dto get funding till ds was entitled to free nursery place