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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

2 yr old won't go to sleep.....

32 replies

woody3269 · 13/08/2008 19:46

he's up there now getting hot and sweaty, red faced, screaming, crying the place down, and only just started doing it again. He keeps saying he wants to be "in there", in other words go in our room.

He cries so much he is coughing and I think he is going to be sick any minute.

Is it really that cruel to leave him to get on with it. I worry as I am listening that the noises he is making is him being sick sometimes!

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kbaby · 13/08/2008 20:43

Were doing the same.

Since moving ds to a bed he cries every night. We thought we had cracked it as we gave in one night and let him go to sleep in our bed, it meant he didnt cry and just went to sleep. However that was short lived because after 4 nights he started getting out all the time and not settling and then crying to come back into our bed during the night. Tonight we are being tough and have put him back in his own room and ignored the crying. Weve been going in every 2 mins not saying anything and laying him back down. He seems to have got the message as its been quiet now for 10 mins.

He sometimes cries so much he starts coughing but hes never been sick yet. Stick with it and if he is sick it wont do him any harm as long as you clean him straight up.

Original poster

woody3269 · 13/08/2008 21:26

DS is still crying now.

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chiclaFraek · 13/08/2008 21:27

does he always do it?

Original poster

woody3269 · 13/08/2008 21:28

thanks kbaby for letting me know I am not the only one, you do feel so rotten sometimes don't you!

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Original poster

woody3269 · 13/08/2008 21:29

nearly a week now

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Original poster

woody3269 · 13/08/2008 21:30

he either wants mummy or daddy, i've tried leaving the light on slightly, nothing has changed, so not sure why he is suddenly being a clingy boy

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chiclaFraek · 13/08/2008 21:30

ds2 used to cry/scream till he was sick when i put his cot in another room. he HATED the cot and he hated being alone.
i put him in a bed in the same room as his 1y older brother at 15m, and finally he settled. tho i had to put him back a million times at forst. and then stop his daytime naps. and even then (and still now!! at 4yo) i had/ve to stay in the room, stand silently in the dark and hold his hand. he falls asleep in 10m tops usually tho so i dont mind. s'just him.
sometimes you just cant fight a real fear/determination/whatver it was/is

chiclaFraek · 13/08/2008 21:33

the 1y older and the 1y younger brothers are fine at going to sleep... he just needs company to go to sleep. and blimey but he winges at bedtime... every sodding night. but once hes in bed with lights off, hes gone in under 10m almost without fail. kids, eh?

Original poster

woody3269 · 13/08/2008 21:35

thanks chiclaFraek, he won't lay down, he's standing up wanting to get out and be with us. I'm sure he's not ill.

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chiclaFraek · 13/08/2008 21:36

sounds like ds2.
and i could never crack that one.
the others, sure, but him, no.
is he in a bed or cot? alone or with sibling/s?

LoveMyGirls · 13/08/2008 21:39

He will give in at some point dont worry. Just go up every 5 miins then 10mins and so on just so he knows you're still here once he feels reassured he will settle down. It is hard but it doesnt last forever (though it feels like it)

Original poster

woody3269 · 13/08/2008 21:43

alone in cot. Will be going to a bed soon, he was 2 in July.

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chiclaFraek · 13/08/2008 21:43

huh
thats what i thought.
but my ds2 is another kettle of fish.
its ok to accept he maybe is never going to get it.
but its also equally ok to persist for a bit and try to crack the wee sod - specially as a more rested baby is a more happy baby when awake! its not just for you that youtre doing this...

Grublin · 13/08/2008 21:44

I think our DS's must be communicating with each other. I put my boys to bed around the same time as yours woody, and DS1 fell asleep about half an hour ago and DS2 has only just gone quiet.
They were both up and down the stairs as DS1 can now open stair gates, so I ignored them whilst they were down here and after a few minutes I counted up to 5 and they scurried upstairs.
They've swapped beds and turfed out all their toys, turned their radio up and generally been a pain in the arse this evening!

chiclaFraek · 13/08/2008 21:46

try the bed sooner rather than later then is my advice.
i thought it would be a mare, but he settled WAY quicker and more happily in a bed than in his cot. he HATED his cot.
talk about it lots and big up the big boyness and excitingness and speacialness (etc you get the dfrift) of the Big Boys Bed right up till you get it... worth a try

Original poster

woody3269 · 13/08/2008 21:49

Thanks all, just typing about it helps a bit.

when other half goes up he wants mummy, when i go up, he wants daddy. The thing is I need to relax, as it is the school holidays there's no escaping them and I can feel that I am going to snap soon. He has been waking up about 1.00 am and doing the same sort of thing but not for as long, though.

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chiclaFraek · 13/08/2008 21:51

oh i feel your pain.

its the non-stopness thats the killer isnt it.

if hes switching loyalty like that, sounds like he is genuinely tired to me... so persevere would be my advice. that and listen to your instincts and disregard all advice, of course

Grublin · 13/08/2008 21:54

I hate seeing those wee small hours on my clock when they wake
DS2 comes into our room at either, 1, 3 or 5 depending on how lucky we get. If it's a 1 or 3 wakening, he'll fall asleep in our bed, if it's 5am, then I'm lucky if I get to stay in bed til 5.50 !

Original poster

woody3269 · 14/08/2008 15:45

okay, I know what you are going to say, but I gave in. I took him out of his cot, cuddled him on my bed, he turned round on to his belly straight away, closed his eyes and went to sleep after about 10 mins. I then sneaked him back into his cot - and then it was time for my bed! Great evening !!

Didn't even have any alcohol in the house - might ask other half to buy some on the way home from work tonight !
joking of course, but also half meaning it!

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gingerninja · 14/08/2008 15:57

I would say, if he settles quickly with you there. Holding hands or what ever and he's not waking up every couple of hours needing you to repeat the process then just do what it takes and you're comfortbale with. I'd quite happily lay with my DD under these circumstances and in fact did until about 2 weeks ago when I'd just had enough because she wasn't settling quickly (it'd take up to 45 mins and would wake frequently shouting for me to cuddle her)I was never happy doing CC when she was a baby but now she can understand bed time and can get out of bed I'm happier to be firmer(and because I'm pg with DC2.)

I have been just sitting outside the door and everytime she gets out of bed, go in, pick her up and put her back in bed with a kiss cuddle and night night. She has started to get the message. Is sleeping through (only 'til 5 mind) but is still crying before sleeping (which I hate) but the time is getting less. She knows I'm close by and although I might leave it a few minutes before I go in for reasurrance I will stand outside the door and shhh through it.

Has he got a teddy and nightlight? those things might help.

Original poster

woody3269 · 14/08/2008 20:53

thanks, he's got a teddy and he is a dummy sucker still - one in his mouth and one in each hand! (I can hear you all groaning now!)

tonight he has been alright so far, we did go for a walk for an hour bedtime so I don't know if that helped.

p.s. DH didn't get the alcohol

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kbaby · 14/08/2008 21:12

Weve had a ok bed time too. He didnt have a nap today so was shattered and literely fell asleep as soon as I put him down.

BTW we moved him to a bed 2 weeks ago and it made things worse as he could climb out of the bed and we ended up putting him back every 5 mins instead!

One thing ive done with him which has helped a bit is once he is actually lying down and not crying I tell him I need to have a wee and then ill be straight back up. So far if I do that he doesnt cry when I leave his room and then goes to sleep(it has taken us 15 mins of crying and laying him down every 5 mins to get to that point though)

The other thing we do is go in every 3-5 mins and with no speaking just lay him back down and then leave.

Some nights we just do one of the above others its a combination or some nights like tonight its neither and he just goes to sleep.

Original poster

woody3269 · 15/08/2008 09:58

thanks, i dont feel as though I want to cut out the nap, though, because it's a welcome break during the day from them (this sounds so horrible, but you know what I mean!)

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kbaby · 17/08/2008 17:54

hows he getting on

Original poster

woody3269 · 20/08/2008 20:16

hello, sorry I haven't answered. He did improve, but tonight he is going for it again. We had been taking them for a long walk before bedtime and that seemed to exhaust him out, but tonight he "wants to get out", calling Mummy and coughing and spluttering!

Here we go again!

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