Will this ever end?

[Trinityhome]

After some advice / reassurance / anything

DD is 15 weeks old, I wouldn't describe her as the happiest baby, she screams in pushchairs & car seats so I've always struggled to get her to nap. She was initially breastfed but we switched to combi feeding before going to fully bottle fed due to being convinced that the breastfeeding was making her very clingy (it took 4 weeks for my partner to be able to hold her without her screaming) but nothing really changed to be honest.

She's always been a massive sleep fighter but the last 3 weeks have been HORRENDOUS, she can now only nap for 30 minutes maximum and I can't put her down for a nap otherwise she'll wake up, she's super restless when napping (presuming she's not getting into a deep sleep) and is now waking throughout the night being restless. We've had to swaddle her at night otherwise she never slept as was constantly attacking her face. I've managed to get her to finally take a dummy however she has learnt how to take it out. She is so miserable everyday and I'm genuinely embarrassed to go anywhere as she looks knackered and I look like I'm depriving her of sleep!
Currently she is rocked to sleep with white noise playing the whole duration of her sleep and a dummy but it takes soooo long to get her to sleep for her to wake up 30 minutes later still tired.

I know it's likely that this is sleep regression but there must be a way that I can help her to settle.

I've been reading into sleep training but I have no clue where to start and whether this is the right thing to do...

The swaddle will stop her knocking her dummy out. Use both (dummy and swaddle) consistantly - every sleep time.

@FATEdestiny I was using a swaddle but she would still wake up after 30 mins or less.

She can now roll over so we can't swaddle her

It does get vaguely better and then it gets a whole lot better. Both mine were crap sleepers and I’m lucky enough to know a fair few honest mums whose babies are also crap sleepers. The waking every half an hour thing is just developmental in the most part with teething a culprit off and on. I found swaddling and a dummy the best you can do really. Dd2 woke every half an hour probably with the odd 3 hour stretch until she was about seven months. She’s 9 months now and she’s up a couple of times after 8pm but will generally settle quickly down again. She still needs wrapping, rocking and singing to to get to sleep initially which can take anywhere between 2 mins and 20. Dd1 got to the stage of sleeping through without hearing a peep from her all night at about 18 months. It’ll all pass eventually

I swaddle passed the rolling stage tbh but use a breathing monitor. Kept her in the same room as me as well

It does end. At about age 3-4. Parenting is shit for a very long time unfortunately.

Just spent an hour getting her to sleep for her eyes to ping open after 10 minutes 🙃

Is there a chance she's in pain? I'm thinking silent reflux or lactose intolerance/cmpa?

@crochetcrazy1978 no she wakes up grinning but a couple of minutes later is rubbing her eyes and tired. I think she's just struggling to get into a deep sleep

Is lo overtired perhaps? I would spend a few days in, and encourage as much sleep as possible.

Also I have a white noise machine - best invention ever!!

And perhaps osteopath for babies? I went to one with our LO as extremely traumatic birth for both of us.

Sorry seen you usse white noise machine 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Do you hold lo? Or put lo down once they are asleep?

Do you have a sling? If she likes being held to nap it means you still have your hands free and go out and about with her easily. A lot of babies like the movement too.

@Pickle2021 yes we use white noise and I hold her now as she was waking up when I put her down.

@Thesearmsofmine yes have a sling and carrier. Unfortunately she can still only sleep for short space of time in these as well

Yes she is overtired but I can't do anymore than I'm already doing. I do wake periods of 1hr 15mins - 1hr 30mins before trying to get her to sleep

Ok, your doing amazinly. Just a suggestion... 🤔 If LO is sleeping only 30mins, I was always advised they should be awake an hour before going back to sleep (doubling the sleep time so if slept 45mins then can be up 1.5hours) I was always adviced to start at 45min to settle. Then by the time they go sleep (say 15mins) that's an hour awake time. Which should be perfect to not allow overtiredness and hopefully getting a longer sleep... I would stick to holding at the moment until the overtiredness has stopped. Then you can revisit later.

I think the bouncy chair will be your friend @Trinityhome.

As PP said, awake time around double nap length. And start settling at least 15 mins before that. Do a full feed in every one of those awake windows too. Something like:

• Wake
• Full Feed & wind
• Floor time
• First grumble - Lift, wind, put back on floor
• Second grumble = Nap time
• Reoffer what's left in bottle.
• into bouncy chair with dummy

Them you park yourself on the sofa with a cuppa, phone and TV remote, bouncy chair at you feet. Just. Keep. Bouncing. Be relentless about it. Reinsert dummy as needed. Even tempo bouncing non stop using your foot to bounce the chair.

Wake and repeat.

I think your wake window is too short. At 15 weeks my LO could do 2 hours and occasionally even longer. If they’re really tired they should go to sleep in about 10-15 mins.

When I used to try and put mine down at 1hr 15 it would take 45 mins because she wasn’t tired enough. Linking sleep cycles is really hard for them especially in the day.

Fatedestiny was the lady I always researched on MN for advice! Got my LO sleeping longer and prevented overtiredness! She's great

@FATEdestiny I'll try the bouncy chair today.

So if she sleeps for 1 hour then wake window should be 2 hours? What about the first nap of the day? How long should wake window be?

thank you.

Also if she only sleeps for 30 m

Sorry replied too quickly. She currently feeds every 4 hours so not sure how I would feed her every wake window if she only naps for 30 mins?

First nap of day - I was always told 2 hours awake time if they slept well etc. I would try settling after 1hour and 30mins. As fatedestiny said bouncer trick! I have to say this is the only thing that didn't work for me. She was too nosey for my face 😂 (worked for DH!, just not me) I had to pop her in her pram and sometimes cover it and keep rocking and rocking. I can now pop her in her pram, dummy in and just pop hand on chest to settle to sleep. (used to be able to put dummy in and walk away but we regressed a bit)

Not sure why 2 hours as it's the same as they get older too 🤷🏼‍♀️ it's meant to be the easiest for putting the LO down to nap of the day too.

If only sleeps 30mins. LO goes back down to be asleep within an hour of waking. So again, feed wind change and at 40/45min marker pop in bouncer or hold whatever you prefer.

With feeding, every time wakes feed. I did this for about a week. I stayed in. Literally as fate says feed evrytime wakes and before goes down. Initially a lot of wastage until lo got used to longer sleeping. I never let her fall asleep on bottle but that's my preference. I don't like feed to sleep and my LO never really done that expect at newborn age.

Once she got used to it. I now feed within 30 mins of waking. Then she has rest of bottle before she goes down for next nap. If she drinks all feed on waking, I just make another bottle and quite often drinks half sometimes all of it.

But it is your call how to do it.

And fatedestiny your welcome 😁 saved me from crying so much as I was at end of my tether!!