why won't she sleep in the basket?

[Ladypug]

She's shattered and she falls asleep in my arms as soon as I hold her but as soon as I put her in the Moses basket she wakes and cries (rapidly turning into shrieks) then we go from the top again - feed, wind, rock, sleep...move to basket... Cry!

DD is 6 weeks old - shouldn't she be getting better at sleep not worse? How are you getting your DCs to sleep in basket and not on you? Please help - very tired and upset as feel like I'm failing :-(

My son (now 16 weeks) hardly ever slept in the Moses basket. We had it downstairs in the lounge and have recently taken it away, hardly used. In the early weeks he slept on people, in his swing (bought secondhand because he needed rocking to sleep), in the pram and in the bouncer. He slept in his crib in our room at night only when we put him down asleep. Honestly I think it's normal. Hard but normal. He is sleeping better now but not perfect and I'm sure the Moses basket would still be a failure but we gave up! We didn't swaddle but found a dummy helped, white noise helped and most of all time helped.

Good luck. The early weeks are hard. I hoped something magic would happen at 6 weeks and I think that's the time when things slowly start to get better but it's gradual over the next 6 weeks of so and by 12 weeks I could properly see improvement. I know that sounds like an impossibly long time but you will get through.

This is my answer to everything... but have you tried a sleep nest? Google cocoonababy/ sleepy head.
IME they are amazing for velcro babies.

Also have you tried putting a warm water bottle into her basket so it's cosy when she goes back in? Putting a tshirt over the mattress that smells of you?

Thank you, tried Tshirt, tried hot water bottle to pre heat it. Didn't realise a crib might work better than Moses basket! Also didn't realise they could sleep in a swing! Can they sleep the night in a swing? Not heard of cocoon, will look it up now!

DS loved the Moses basket, but grew out of it in a month. DD hated it. Horses for courses. Have you tried settling her with a t shirt that you have been wearing?

Sorry, I see you have tried the t shirt thing.

Have you tried swaddling? It made the world of difference with DD at that age. You can buy swaddle wraps so you know you've done it safely.

Desperately trying to swaddle but she goes mental and fights to get arms out :-(

I wouldn't try sleeping the night in the swing. If nothing else, although safety would be a big thing for me, she will become totally reliant and you will have even bigger problems when she grows out of it.
DS hated his crib and his cot, we had a few abortive attempts to make him sleep in them and I eventually gave up and co-slept. A billion times easier and made night sleeps a doddle - I just flopped a boob out and barely needed to wake up!

Oh poor little thing, just read your swaddle comment. Honestly, don't fight her over sleep, you will both end up the worse for it. Throw out any books that are telling you how it should be and go with what works best for your dd.
I used to have ds either on me (in a wrap) or in a huge low-sided basket, like an old fashioned bread delivery basket, lined with sheepskin. He would sleep in it by my feet during the day/before I went to bed and even got plonked in the corner at dinner parties. Presumably he was so used to all the noise when he was inside that he couldn't cope with the total silence of his nursery! He never slept on his back or his side (still doesn't at 13) and he would hit the roof if I tried to swaddle him.
No two babies are the same, by all means take advice and try it, but if dd doesn't respond well then don't force it.

Thanks everyone, I think this is the problem, she hates sleeping on her back, she can barely do it! She sleeps on her front or side on me but I don't allow that in bed or basket as I read all about cot death etc, those of you who co-sleep, how are you sleeping? What is the baby sleeping on? Surely if we co-sleep we are just postponing the torture as we'll have to ween her off that eventually?

DD hated the Moses basket so we co-slept. It was also great for me as I was breastfeeding so didn't have to get up to feed her since she was right next to me. She is now 2.5 and sleeps fine in her own bed. I can't remember exactly when but think we started putting her in her own cot bed at around 6 months and it was fine. She still pops into our bed occasionally but generally sleeps through in her room. Just to reassure you that your little one won't necessarily have problems transitioning from your bed.

Personally I would advise doing whatever it takes to get some sleep and don't worry to much about what may or may not happen - it's impossible to predict how each baby will behave further down the line really, they like to keep us on our toes like that!

We now have DS who is 7 weeks old and also hates the Moses basket(!) so again we are co-sleeping.

Thanks eastie, how does co sleeping work? Do they sleep in your bed like normal or on something like a pod thing? Between you both or on the edge? On your body? Sorry to be clueless!

I slept alone with ds, but if you chose to stay with oh then keep you between him and the baby. There is a lot of good advice if you google co sleeping- they will give you a more visual idea too

DD slept between me & DP. She was just flat on the bed (no pillows) and usually slept on her front which, as you mentioned, is against the guidelines etc but she just would not settle on her back. With DS it is more or less the same although he will occasionally sleep on his back. If I am co-sleeping on my own I ensure the cot is against the edge of the bed.

There is a lot of info online but the main safety advice which you've no doubt heard is to make sure you are not under the influence of alcohol/drugs when co-sleeping (sorry if I'm stating the obvious!)

A lot of mumsnetters also swear by a Sleepyhead, a little snug portable bed/pod which you can pop into bed with you. I've never tried it but might be worth a try?

Best of luck!

I know of a number of people who put their babies down on their fronts but used an angelcare monitor which measures minute movements and breathing, so an alarm goes off if anything untoward were to occur.

Also, have you tried lowering your LO on their front of side to the basket, then rolling them over once they're down? Being lowered on your back can imitate the sense of falling, which will then cause a startle reflex, waking them up.

My ds was like this. I think he had a gripy stomach and lying on his back hurt him. It seemed to resolve itself by about 10 weeks and he's been a good sleeper in his Moses basket/cot ever since. He's nearly 2 now and he sleeps 13+ hrs at night and a 2hr nap.
My Dd slept happily as a newborn but started waking at 4mo and hasn't slept well since (now nearly 4). I was also much more worried about bad habits with her, whereas ds slept on my chest for the first month or so (not safe I know but he wouldn't sleep anywhere else).

So I wouldn't worry about bad habits or that your baby is a bad sleeper. He's still very much a newborn, and things will change very rapidly so you should just do what works for now.

Oh bless you, it is hard when they're small. DD was just the same, refused to sleep anywhere other than on or near an adult (thankfully she was happy with her dad/grandparents etc as well as me). At four days old and almost zero sleep we started cosleeping, and it worked beautifully. It meant napping in the day tied me down, but honestly cuddling a tiny baby while they sleep is a good thing for you and your baby - not any kind of failure!

Cosleeping involved having DD on the outside of the bed, her head at boob level with my arm stretched out straight above her head. Duvet was tucked firmly under my waist so it was nowhere near her, and my outstretched arm prevented pillow movement down as well as me rolling on to her. DH did the same thing - he'd have her on his side for the first bit of the night, and then we'd swap.

When she was six months old DD moved into her cot in her own room as we were all starting to disturb each other, and she was able to roll. She was immediately happy (though still night waking as before), so don't fear that cosleeping means you'll never get your bed to yourself again.

For now, do what works to get you and baby as much sleep as possible - if that means lots of cuddles and less washing up, that's fine :)

This is so familiar! Try Googling The Fourth Trimester - very reassuring.

You're not failing. My DS is 6 months, and I've still not managed to get him to sleep in a cot!! All naps are ether on me on in the sling. I'm not into sleep training, so I'm happy to work with him and he'll get there in his own time xx

I think our Moses basket is going to get more use by the baby Jesus at DM's church than our two dc! Sleepyhead in the cot bed worked fairly well here. We cosleep a lot - no covers or pillows, baby on edge of the bed, we've got a bedguard. Have you tried tilting it up so the head is raised? That worked really well for dd2 in hospital.

Yep have basket tilted up but still hates it. Thinking of getting one of these co sleeping cribs, anyone got experience with these? They look safe but they are right next to you so Practically in bed with you

I'm planning on getting one for the new baby (due in March) if she is as crib-resistant as DD was! I think the NCT bednests are well thought of, so long as the side is either raised right up or lowered right down.

I hope the replies are some reassurance that it's normal even if feels awful!

To answer one question - No, our son didn't ever spend the night in the swing (and we're not using it at all anymore). It was just something in our repertoire to try when he wouldn't settle for a nap in other ways and our arms were tired. Luckily he slept ok in a crib and he has been in his crib at night since we came home (one key difference I think is that he can see out, unlike a Moses basket). We did try swaddling too but he seemed to hate it so we didn't try very hard.

DS1 never slept in his basket. He liked to sleep on my chest. We haven't even bothered trying with Ds2. We have a co-sleeper crib which is great but more often than not he ends up in bed with me. I have him in a Sleepyhead which I think he finds comforting. I also feel safer as he has his own defined space in the bed. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is it sounds totally normal, if frustrating. I saw 4th trimester has been mentioned. It really is worth reading about why they want to stay close to you.

Another vote for the sleepyhead. We use it to co-sleep, in the crib and for day time naps. I really cannot express how much better things got for Ds' sleep as soon as we got it.
They're not cheap, but resale value is good on e-bay.

Good luck. You are not failing - so many people go through the same thing.