Could Neurodiverse Mumsnetters be renamed or its description changed to clarify it is for adults?

[selffellatingouroborosofhate]

Please consider modifying the name and description of the Neurodiverse Mumsnetters board to make it clearer that it is intended for neurodivergent adults.

We often see threads from parents of neurodivergent children that would be more appropriately in SN Children. The posters would be more likely to get the support they seek if they posted in the correct board.

Additionally, some threads are unpleasant to read because children like the children we once were are described mainly in terms of the challenges they pose to their parents. Whilst this is understandable because parents don't ask for help with the aspects of parenting that are not challenging, it has the unintended effect of increasing the negative messaging that we as neurodivergent adults see about neurodivergence, and we get enough of that already without it being posted on the board set aside for us to support each other.

Are you joking?

what about the partners of those with ND who want to learn more?

I think you raise a valid point OP.
I think having a board title that makes it clear it is primarily intended as a support tool for adult ND people would be helpful.

Partners aren't parents of neurodivergent children wanting to know how to best raise their children or start a support (aka "vent about how my disabled child makes my life hard") thread. Parents of neurodivergent children have the SN boards for these purposes.

I think it’s more complicated as ND people are more likely to have ND children which makes it a more complex situation.

You have misunderstood
the SEN child board is for parents with ND child

this thread I regard as for those you are ND adult but their partners and families can also post surely

There is a stand alone thread for that @Werhere , ill try and find the link, it is v supportive, apart from the odd “this is harmful for those with ND to see negativity”.

Being pedantic but also technically the board should read neurodivergent rather than neurodiverse...bugs my autistic rigid brain every damn time.

Ah I didn’t realise

We often have posters who discuss the difficulties of parenting whilst being themselves neurodivergent. This isn't the same as neurotypical parents asking about how to get an ECHP. Nor is it the same as parents posting a laundry list of behaviours and asking if their child is neurodivergent.

No, I've understood perfectly. What you just said, I was agreeing with. I started with "Partners aren't parents". It's not partners I'm talking about.

Parents insist on posting on MNers without parents threads & I think the Black MNers board has similar problems.

You’ll get comments like ‘It came up in Active’ and ‘I have a right to give my opinion.’

Good luck though.

Read your op. You are essentially asking for partners to also not be entitled to post

Actually @Werhere is right here, you may not have meant it to come across like that, but it reads as I don’t like when you post you have difficulty in your life as I feel that you are talking about me and that shouldn’t be allowed.”

It doesn't come across to me like that at all. It's perfectly clear OP wants a space dedicated to adult issues, not parenting ones.

No I'm not. I don't mention partners at all. I only mention parents. I wasn't even thinking about NT partners when I posted, but have since clarified that I think they should be allowed.

You've missed a word: "here". "...that shouldn’t be allowed here".

Being talked about like we are burdens is soul-destroying, it's hurtful, and over time harms our mental health. ND people are bombarded with negative messaging all our lives. When someone NT posts about how they struggle to raise their ND child, that's more of the "burden" messaging.

The NT parents of ND children need support and they should get it from the SN boards set up for that purpose. It's unfair to expect us to solve their problems.

The ND MNetters board is meant to be a safe space for ND adults. "Burden" messaging makes it not a safe space any more. We are already disproportionately more likely to blame ourselves for things unfairly. ND MNetters should be a space for us to recover from that.

Imagine if the local community centre ran a High Intensity Interval Training fitness class and a model train club at the same time in different rooms and people carrying model trains kept walking into the HIIT class by mistake because the door sign said "TRAIN HERE" and the model train people misread it as "TRAINS HERE".

I'm talking about the same kind of mistake: parents posting about their ND children in such a way that it's clear that they expect other parents of ND children to see the thread, then posting "bump" and "anyone?" when they get no replies.

I've read the thread for partners and spouses of neurodiverse people, and it is pretty nasty. I would prefer if talk like that was kept away from a board for ND adults.

The infamous support thread in Relationships is awful. We made a parody of it, a support thread for the ND partners of NT people.

Generally, the "my DH has been diagnosed autistic" threads in ND MNetters I've seen have been not like that.

Parents insist on posting on MNers without parents

I don't understand this, sorry

Good heavens it’s like banging my head against a brick wall

YOU say you want a description to confirm that the thread is for ND adults.

That is presumably excluding anyone not ND including partners

The description could be similar to that for Black Mumsnetters, saying that NT people are welcome to post respectfully but that the space is primarily for ND Mumsnetters to discuss ND adult life.

Just because I hadn't hammered out the exact wording doesn't mean you need to get stroppy with me.

“Pretty nasty” is a very understated way to describe it! It’s appalling. A large number of those posting there make discriminatory and factually disproved comments about ND people and many of their partners have no diagnosis anyway and are simply exhibiting behaviour of being unpleasant people rather than ND, yet those posters have decided to attribute it to neurodiversity for no fathomable reason and reinforce each other’s misguided prejudices and ignorance. It’s astonishing the Mumsnet still allows it to go on, frankly.

I think the difference is that anybody posting racist comments anywhere on Mumsnet — let alone on the Black MNers board — would swiftly be banned, yet Mumsnet is rife with appalling and discriminatory comments about autistic people, etc and Mumsnet does nothing about it in most cases.

So you start a wooly thread
but expect people to know that by asking for it to stipulate the thread is for ND adults you actually mean something else