Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk

Back to thread
Original poster

I have rejoined just to ask this question.

43 replies

hathorisaskingaquestion · 04/07/2012 18:00

Why are some members of this site allowed to get away with persistently being vile, pushing an agenda, defending the indefensible, upsetting other members, twisting versions of events and generally being nasty, and they do not get banned?

Not about any one particular poster, but I have noticed that some stronger "personalities" on here seem to be Teflon coated.

Why is this?

Why do the owners of this site want that kind of vile poster and do not seem to care about the number of truly decent kind posters who are being upset and driven off the site?

Go to post
MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 04/07/2012 19:47

@UnicornRainbowLove

Um. LOADS of things. I prodded those dicks from Roll on Friday quite hard.

Er

You'll have to do better than that. Tsk.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 04/07/2012 19:52

@hathorisaskingaquestion

Helen - I think one of the things that frustrates me is that if you report something you never hear what has happened behind the scenes, not just a one-off but when it's a sustained thing.

It's a bit like reporting if you've been burgled and caught the person in the act to the police and never ever finding out what happened to the person who did it, and not being allowed to find out

Yes, we do understand that. And we know it is frustrating. We hope we do acknowledge that in our replies.

Thing is, quite often, a stern mail or a temporary ban is enough to make posters change their ways. And we do believe people deserve a chance to change

Telling people "XX has been banned/warned" etc, though, makes it unlikely they could come back and post again without incident - if that's what we decided to let them do.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 04/07/2012 19:56

@amillionyears

UnicornRainbowLove only started posting,using that name,yesterday. Another MNHQ person? That would explain "Ive never had a stern email form you Helen"

ha ha at the thought of UnicornRainbowLove being an MNHQ stooge. Seeing what I can behind the scenes, I can assure you she'd rather poke her eyes out with a sharp stick!

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 04/07/2012 19:58

@Maryz

I am sitting on my hands and not getting involved [prim, good-girl emoticon]

Sorry about your mum Helen.

Thank you. But don't be nice or I might cry.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 04/07/2012 20:00

@UnicornRainbowLove

What exactly do you mean by that Helen?

I would love to be an MNHQ stooge. I hear they pay you in diamonds and caviar!

Your sources are VERY dodgy.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 04/07/2012 20:23

@hathorisaskingaquestion

D'you know what MmeL.

I have a right to bring up what I like on here.

I wasn't and am not just talking about the events of this past weekend.

I am talking about an attitude and a tone and a perceived teflon coating of some posters.

Yes, you have a perfect right to bring it up, hath. And we're sorry if it's proving upsetting for you.

We're also sorry you feel we have this attitude. We honestly don't think we do. But clearly if you - and others - feel we do, we need to work harder at making sure those perceptions don't gain a hold.

As ever, we're grateful you brought it up. Feedback, however critical, is always useful.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 04/07/2012 20:35

Ok, 'fraid I have to do and sort some domestos.

Hath: v happy to continue this on mail, if you'd find it less bruising. I'm not sure if I'll be at MNHQ tomorrow but, if I'm not, I'll make sure everyone knows your mails need a prompt response.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 04/07/2012 20:38

@amillionyears

UnicornRainbowLove,maybe you dont work for MNHQ,and maryz,maybe you dont either,but how can I be sure. I was spot on about OatyBeatie.

OatyBeatie doesn't work for MNHQ either. Again, I think she'd rather scratch her eyes out.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 04/07/2012 20:40

@Pagwatch

Oh it's difficult.

I reported today because a poster was being an absolute shit - smart arse and goading, really horrible.
But when I read all of her posts they individually stayed this side of delete-worthy.
It must be difficult to find a line.

It is terrible that people get upset.

( And it is a bit terrible that I found the Ghandhi moment very funny. It was like Alan Partridge)

Yes, that is a difficult one. But still worth reporting. Especially if, when you report, you say something like "I know this doesn't break the Guidelines but please look at her posting history - is she a goader?"

Then we could take a look. And at the very least start to build up a picture of what that poster's up to (if anything).

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 04/07/2012 20:48

@amillionyears

HelenMumsnet,how do you personally know all these people well enough to say "again,I think she'd rather scratch her eyes out"?

Well, I don't know either of those people very well personally - though I have met one of them at an MNHQ meetup - but let's just say both of them have, over the years, mailed in to express their crossness at some of our decisions. Smile

Right, really have gotta go now.

MNHQ

OliviaSvelteMumsnet · 05/07/2012 10:55

@LemarchandsBox

MNHQ are damned if they do, damned if they don't then, aren't they?

Feels like it from this end today LemarchandsBox. Sad
I am not even working today but checking in to try and help out.

Any suggestions as to how else we can help/do better gratefully received (plays about tomatoes notwithstanding)
Thanks

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 05/07/2012 11:19

@hathorisaskingaquestion

No not offence.

Sigh.

I'm not explaining very well.

I'm not taking offence at it - I'm pointing out that if there ARE posters who HQ know need a quicker response to that would explain WHY some posts go pfft quicker than others.

And it's something I didn't know before, I assumed that all reports were dealt with on an "as they came in" basis.

And I don't want to be treated any differently to any one else.

Morning all. And oh dear, hath, that was not at all what I meant by my post.

You had made it really clear that your mails were not being responded to for days. (Which can happen sometimes, unfortunately, in very busy times with very complicated reports/mails.) We were simply trying to reassure you that if you mailed us about this specific issue - and given your obvious distress - we would do our damndest not to keep you waiting too long for a reply.

There is no Special List at HQ. (Other than my Whose Turn Is It To Make Tea? spreadsheet).

Reports/mails are, generally speaking, dealt with in roughly the order that they come in to our inbox.

But some reports/mails take longer to deal with than others. So it is entirely possible that someone reporting a personal attack might see it deleted and get a reply before someone mailing in about a poster following them across the boards and bullying them - even if both mails appeared in our inbox at the same time.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 05/07/2012 12:12

@ShirleyKnot

No Hully. The school have been completely awful and useless.

When DS2 started at secondary the school rang me and asked me why I hadn't put his name down to attend there because of the sibling points thing - I told them I wouldn't subject another one of my children suffering as DS1 had and the admission woman just sort of went "Oh, that's a shame"

Hmm

wankers.

OMG, Shirley.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 05/07/2012 12:25

@AmberLeaf

Full of personal attacks? really?

If telling a domestic abuser in denial that they are indeed abusive is a personal attack then yes it was full of them.

Interestingly there were very few if any single deletions on that thread.

I actually think that's exactly the sort of thing they should have to explain!

Just coming back on this one, AmberLeaf. Sorry if a bit late in the day.

Before that thread was deleted, OliviaMN posted to say it was going to be nixed, explaining, "This thread started as light-hearted but is no longer so and is not really what MN is about."

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 05/07/2012 12:31

@hairylemon

I dunno Shirley maybe its just coincidence that the times Im on MN are the times when a ruck has kicked off so thats all I see. I guess I am still a bit bemused about my own experience of this, it was just so obvious that I only got complained about on my AIBU thread because I dared to not back down or give the shit stirrers what they wanted.

There is no denying though that posts by regulars, especially ones that interact with MNHQ on a friendly level, get left or overlooked that would be deleted for a newbie.

Just coming back to you, hairylemon. We're sorry you never got a reply to your last mail to us. To tell the truth, it didn't seem at the time as though you were looking for a reply. But we'll dig it out and reply now.

MNHQ

HelenMumsnet · 05/07/2012 12:36

@QuickLookBusy

Helenpeople asked for further clarification on Olivia's reason for it's deletion.

Some people thought it was because the thread had turned into lots of PAs on the OP, so no longer light hearted.

Others thought it was because there were lots of examples of abuse, so no longer light hearted

Do you know which one of these was the reason for deletion?

Think it was both, tbh

MNHQ

OliviaSvelteMumsnet · 05/07/2012 14:45

@HoneyDragonWearingLederhosen

You might think that. We couldn't possibly comment.
That is one cute puppy

MNHQ

OliviaSvelteMumsnet · 05/07/2012 14:59

@Maryz

I have only just noticed Olivia's new name Shock

You look lovely and slim in it Olivia.

Blush Tis leftover from John biffa Briffa's chat. I should change back really.

Watch this thread for updates

Tap "Watch" to get all the latest updates

End of posts

There are no more MNHQ posts on this thread

Back to thread