Finding a friend with benefits

[Frumpitydoo]

How does one go about finding no strings sex once one is 45 years old and celibate these past 10 years?!

I live in Derbyshire if that helps at all?!

maybe through an app?

1 find a friend you fancy 2 ask him if he fancies benefits.

Im not in the market for a FWB but if I was I can think of at least 2 guys I could sweetly ask (and I’m pretty sure would say yes).

Which bit are you finding tricky OP?

Youre either going to convert a friend you already have to a FWB or else find someone for NSA who becomes a friend too & not just a shag.

Good luck.

Feeld - dating app for non-traditional relationships
We Are X - the social media app linked to Killing Kittens
FAB Swingers - probably the easiest/hardest option.

Read some more posts for the female and male experiences.
FWIW, you haven't said what your relationship status is, so you might benefit from getting divorced first.🤣

I’m male and found it hard to find a FwB set up. I don’t and don’t want a full relationship as my kids are my primary focus. I found one that lasted a few months through Tinder, but she moved into a more conventional relationship with someone else. Was fun while it lasted and we remain friends. I looked at Fab but found it horrendous but know other people like it

I think it terrible idea asking people you know. I’ve found mine on either Fab or dating apps. I’m very honest about what I’m looking for right from the start.

Why? I have in the past. Works very well (as a woman). Presumably a person on fab isn’t a friend just after sex with anyone. That sounds like a terrible idea to me 😂

Just go on hinge and set your age group 20-25.
And start talking.
Say what you want. How often. Where. Etc.
Then enjoy.

Just thinking- you’re right it probably is a terrible idea to approach a friend for sex if you’re a man.

I’m currently on holiday with my friend with benefits so it has worked for me.

Why would 2 adults go on holiday on half term week?!

Because they want to?
Because one of them has kids who are with the other parent for the week?
Because one's a teacher?

Anyway, @Frumpitydoo as someone said above, apps and be honest. There are tons of men out there, although I won't guarantee their quality!

What’s the best way to bring up a proper friends-with-benefits setup when dating?
I’ve tried so many different approaches, but I always seem to end up with guys who in the end just want sex once and then disappear.
I'm starting to get a complex about my sexual prowess and how shit it must be as they don't come back 🤣 (have to laugh about it really)

I’m talking about a real FWB, not just a late-night “come over for half an hour” situation. It feels like the old-school version of FWB, where you actually get along, have a laugh, and sleep together regularly without it being a relationship, has completely died out.

😅

You must be having a great time if you’re on the mumsnet sex board whilst on holiday. Sounds like fun. 😂 🤔

I know right 😂

I found my FWB on a night out. Was only looking for a ONS, but he was fun to talk to... before, during and after sex that night 😂
Neither of us want anything more than what it is.

Teachers. Also we are at a swinger resort in GC. No kids here.

Some people read books, some listen to music. Podcasts. I enjoy reading Mumsnet.

Yep some men like placing themselves on the sex board of a predominantly women’s forum. Ick.

I remember when a group from this board made their own group on Reddit. Someone else on Reddit looked at their new group where they gave their usernames on here and posted a selection of their past posts on Reddit. It was grim reading and from then on I became suspicious of men on this board and their reasons for being here. They’re here because it gives them access to to a large number of women, although many if the ‘women’ here have messed up and shown that they’re actually men. So many fantasists here.

What were they posting on Reddit?

I'm a guy, looking for things to give me an insight, lurking to watch conversations of anyone with similar things going on to me or sometimes just for idle entertainment but I must admit the volume of posts that look ridiculously like pure fantasy exhausting / boring (a search of the username usually gives them away as having limited predictable posting, so kudos to the lady who suggested this).

As for the original thread, haven't got a clue, lol, if I was single I'd be delighted to be approached but would never have the confidence to approach someone for fear of spoiling a friendship or offending.

Agree. A single guy you get on with will at least be flattered if you approach him. Even if he turns you down (unlikely!). Very different to a man approaching a single woman though!

@Elixir86have you considered this approach. I think most men on line are just after as much sex with as many women as possible

@Gymbunny2025 unfortunately the only men I know are in committed relationships. Most are actually husbands/partners of my friends and I find them in no way attractive. The only friend I would say I'd be open with is a work friend but alas he is very happily partnered up and it's rather adorable and sickening when he shares the romantic gestures he plans for special occasions haha.

I have questions. How do you know these guys? How long have you known them? How devastated would you be if they disappeared after getting new partners in future who were none too happy with them being around women who they've casually fucked in the past?