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Unsure if we can created a free use situation

31 replies

cookingaroast · 20/08/2025 12:30

My DH and I have both acknowledged our sex life has been quite bland over the past year and we've both been suggesting new ideas and trying new things to spicy it up - some things have worked, some haven't.

A few weeks ago, my husband asked if I could sleep without underwear on the nights I wear a nightie, so he can give me some wake up sex. I totally understand this isn't for everyone but we both enjoy waking up to the other arousing us and are both completely consenting to this.
This has been a real winner for us and wakening up to him lubed up and slipping inside me is my favourite wake up. It's really common for us both to orgasm from these sessions and it's something we both want to keep going with.

Last week, he asked if we could add to this a bit by me also going commando on days I've chosen to wear a dress/ skirt. The premise being he can use his hands or impromptu sex through the day. Again, I have absolute trust and everything is consensual (he has no say in what I wear each day but a dress/ skirt is an indication from me that I'm up for it that day).

Nothing had happened in the days I'd done this so far, so I had an idea in my head but we hadn't tried it out yet. Last night as I was giving the kitchen a quick once over before heading to bed, he came in from behind and pressed me against the counter, lifted my dress and DTD. I remained pressed again the counter the whole time, in a position we both like. Once done, he headed off to bed and I finished up downstairs before joining him.

A day later as I think it through, I'm wondering if we've developed a free use situation, does anyone have experience of this they could share?

OP posts:
Namechangednorth · 20/08/2025 12:46

I hadn’t heard of free use before. In a relationship as I am long term, consent is implicit for us unless withdrawn. I’m really happy to wake up to him touching me or doing things and if I’m not in the mood, I say

OfcourseitsaNC · 20/08/2025 12:57

It's a normal relationship dynamic-particularly in a healthy marriage.

What is this current ridiculousness that feels that everything needs to be given a label?

Gymbunny2025 · 20/08/2025 14:10

OfcourseitsaNC · 20/08/2025 12:57

It's a normal relationship dynamic-particularly in a healthy marriage.

What is this current ridiculousness that feels that everything needs to be given a label?

This!

im assuming it’s another pervy post definitely written by a woman

CATomas · 20/08/2025 16:14

My wife thoroughly enjoyed the kitchen counter. She seated on the counter, just the perfect height for me to enter. Completely spontaneous.

NDerbys32 · 20/08/2025 18:18

Sounds like you're both on the same page there

Enjoy it, don't categorise it?

AnonAnonmystery · 20/08/2025 20:22

I find the term “free use” sounding one sided and functional which doesn’t sound like the situation you are describing. You guys have both discussed and consented and you say your love life used to be a bit flat. This seems like a really successful rejuvenation to be honest, I’d use more positive words to describe it. My partner and myself are like this really, if you are both up for sex I’d describe it as a passionate / loving / exciting relationship.

BehindTheLens · 21/08/2025 03:29

Gymbunny2025 · 20/08/2025 14:10

This!

im assuming it’s another pervy post definitely written by a woman

Yep. There is definitely a perv who is obsessed with women not wearing anything under dresses. A couple of posts were deleted this week on this ‘theme’ and this is just another try.

sophiecygnet · 21/08/2025 08:29

Yes there is some one pushing this topic.
Warning I also had a long story sent to me about DOMINANCE. It contains various ways of enforcement and punishment. Quite gruesome. I thought it was going to be some light hearted erotica.

BehindTheLens · 21/08/2025 08:47

sophiecygnet · 21/08/2025 08:29

Yes there is some one pushing this topic.
Warning I also had a long story sent to me about DOMINANCE. It contains various ways of enforcement and punishment. Quite gruesome. I thought it was going to be some light hearted erotica.

Please report it if you haven’t already as it makes the site better for everyone if these creeps are banned.

sophiecygnet · 21/08/2025 09:01

@BehindTheLens they were removed before I could ask.

StarlightLady · 21/08/2025 09:15

“School’s out for the summer”. 🤣🤣🤣

BehindTheLens · 21/08/2025 09:31

I don’t believe for a second it’s kids. This is a man pretending to be a woman with a fetish and he’s all over the site, not just on this board. Lots of posters know his main username and then he obviously uses other usernames and accounts. We see you.

AnonAnonmystery · 21/08/2025 10:19

Wow thank you wise ladies for raising awareness of these kinds of fake posts.

FrenchieLouise · 21/08/2025 17:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

StarlightLady · 22/08/2025 12:02

I smelt a rat with this one with the OP referring to a somewhat degrading (understatement!) approach with someone who is often wearing knickers (and a nightie) in bed. It just doesn’t ring true.

CompassNecklace · 22/08/2025 20:25

BehindTheLens · 21/08/2025 09:31

I don’t believe for a second it’s kids. This is a man pretending to be a woman with a fetish and he’s all over the site, not just on this board. Lots of posters know his main username and then he obviously uses other usernames and accounts. We see you.

I also know the main username of this poster, he’s a regular here. He says he’s a woman, posts about knickers and not wearing knickers any chance he gets and far too much for it to be believable. His sock accounts are recognisable as him too.

ImGonnaRunToYou · 23/08/2025 04:13

CompassNecklace · 22/08/2025 20:25

I also know the main username of this poster, he’s a regular here. He says he’s a woman, posts about knickers and not wearing knickers any chance he gets and far too much for it to be believable. His sock accounts are recognisable as him too.

Another one who knows who it is. He is never far away, even on this thread. So obvious.

AtYourPleasure · 23/08/2025 12:49

ImGonnaRunToYou · 23/08/2025 04:13

Another one who knows who it is. He is never far away, even on this thread. So obvious.

Could you share with those who don't know?

SirRaymondClench · 23/08/2025 13:36

So no foreplay for the woman then just her husband sticking it in her whenever he gets the chance? 🙄

Definitely written by a man.

SparklyGlitterballs · 23/08/2025 13:45

Probably someone who doesn't want to use his ID to get back on the porn sites, so is looking to get his kicks elsewhere.

AtYourPleasure · 23/08/2025 14:17

SirRaymondClench · 23/08/2025 13:36

So no foreplay for the woman then just her husband sticking it in her whenever he gets the chance? 🙄

Definitely written by a man.

That's what most of them want anyway. This guy is no different.

SirRaymondClench · 23/08/2025 19:53

AtYourPleasure · 23/08/2025 14:17

That's what most of them want anyway. This guy is no different.

Yes. That's why most of them live sexless lives.

Men that are selfish in bed are their own worst enemy. No wonder their partners don't want to sleep with them if there's nothing in it for them 🙄

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 28/08/2025 08:13

Well my husband had free use of me as he was my husband and I told him he could do as he pleased with me. (Obvs consent was still in place). But for me this is a big turn on.

Osirus · 29/08/2025 23:27

OfcourseitsaNC · 20/08/2025 12:57

It's a normal relationship dynamic-particularly in a healthy marriage.

What is this current ridiculousness that feels that everything needs to be given a label?

This.

It’s so bloody depressing.

Osirus · 29/08/2025 23:32

I’ve just finished reading and see this is believed not to be all it at first appears.

There’s plenty of men posing as women on this board; it’s such a shame for not just the women on here but also for the genuine male posters.

This topic prevents users from posting on it until they have been members for at least 7 days.