Never had an orgasm. Is there any hope for me?

[Rosesbehindthesnow]

In my 50s and never had an orgasm either on my own or with a partner.

Any suggestions or is there no chance now?

Depends what you've already tried? Bullet vibrator on clit is my suggestion.

Thanks, I haven’t tried that. Could you recommend a particular one or brand please?

I think there's still hope. I believe every women has the potential to orgasm and that we all should. I found how to orgasm through my fingers but now my vibrator of choice would be a rabbit of a wand. Just bear in mind that each method of masturbation or toy could take some getting used to and an orgasm might not happen on the first go. Try not to worry about it too much, stressing about orgasm as an end goal. Just focus on a fantasy and enjoy the sensations until they start to build up. Then when it feels amazing and almost too much, keep going.

Try the Durex Intense Bullet. You can pick one up for about £10 in Boots or in supermarkets. It’s waterproof to make bathtimes more relaxing. Focus on the cltty.

Have you tried any type of vibrator? This is my go to.

https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-vibrators/p/lovehoney-ignite-20-function-finger-vibrator/a41330g75300.html#productReview

I left my marriage after many years of thinking I couldn't orgasm. Now I can't get enough of them.

I have tried a rabbit but wasn’t really sure what to do with it ☹️

I prefer the rabbits with the 2 ears and the more phallic shaped shaft rather than the newer type with the one prong and curved shaft. They feel too snug and I can't move them about as much. I just insert it and find a bit on my clit that feels good. I move it on and off until I know I'm at the right moment to let go. It might not be for you though, toys are a very personal choice and everyone won't all like the same thing.

I like the shiny silver ones - I got one from lovehoney - and running it under cold water before using it is good. Sometimes when the batteries are brand new I find vibrators can be a bit too intense so it's almost numbing - so go gently to start.

Thanks for these suggestions. I’m not optimistic about my chances but I need to give it a go. Don’t want to die without having had at least one!

Have you thought about having therapy? A specialist therapist would be able to help with this and won’t be at all phased by what you tell them. It’s possible your emotions are blocking your ability to relax and you might need to talk it through with someone in order to get there. Good luck!

I’ve had therapy for years but could never talk about anything sexual.

If you have Instagram follow Hello Jenny Keane. She sometimes runs workshops on self pleasure & orgasms. She also has a website (same name).

I think the stress of it will be a blocker. I’d suggest a long bath, destress and a lubed. Bullet vibe. If funds allow a doxy wand is a powerful toy but too intense for some!!

make the focus pleasure and if the climax arrives it’s a bonus! I never came with fellas until my hubby so don’t despair or over think

Have fun trying !!

The rabbit simply goes inside with the "bunny ears" on the clitoris.

It takes longer for some women.

My partner can take 45 min, whereas I'm done in a few minutes.

I love the feel of the vibrator inside me which makes me cum in waves. However, if a little uptight, maybe try a Womaniser or equivalent. It has a suction action on the clitoris and is incredibly intense. My only dislike is it made me cum so quickly- far to quickly for me but might get you over the edge.

Use a Hitachi Magic Wand on your clitoris. 🎆

I haven't had an orgasm off a male counterpart in about 12 years. I'm in my late 30's now. I've been single for four years and decided last year to treat myself. I bought a vibrator from Ann Summers and it is without doubt, the best £25 I have ever spent in my life! Gives me more pleasure than any man has, also better than the pleasure I used to give myself.

Don't get too in your head about it. Lie back and enjoy the sensation. Learn to relax your body and mind. Maybe use some lube also, you'll soon find your own way. The world really needs to stop normalising non orgasms in women. We deserve to enjoy sex too. Good luck.

OP I was in the same boat as you until my late 40s. What worked for me was a magic wand type vibrator, a good sized glass of red wine beforehand so I didnt get all up in my own head about it, and not focusing on having an orgasm per se, but on seeing how I could get aroused with it. Low speed, low light, lots of playing around with positioning etc.

The first couple of times I came my orgasms were short and tight, for want of a better description, but as I relaxed more and was more certain of my ability to make myself cum, they become longer and more rolling.

My partners tongue/technique on my clit is better than any toy ... and I have used many toys. Some men just know what to do.

The website OMGYes has been highly recommended to me. I’m planning to try it when I’m over the baby stage of sleep deprivation

It's nice to work out how to give yourself intense pleasure though instead of relying on a man. I like having a moment to myself to relax with a few orgasms. And for a woman who's never had an orgasm, I think it makes sense to explore your own body before extending that to with a partner.

Yes sorry I was just thinking out loud, and my post was not relevant to the OP. You are quite right.

I think the whole putting up with no orgasms has had its day. Play and experiment, and have fun learning

There has been too much shame in complaining about it! My hubby was shocked when I told him an ex wouldn’t go down on me!!! Some men hey!!!

Thanks very much for all this helpful advice, I wasn’t sure what to expect by posting here.

This has been a game changer for me op
Defo worth looking into 👍🏻
Vibe