How did you feel after a threesome?

[MsWalterMitty]

DH and I are totally on the same page when it comes to sex. We communicate really well and have a very healthy sex life.

Soo wet have decided to explore the possibility of having a threesome or foursome with another couple, I am particularly bi curious and would love to invite another woman in to the bedroom with us.

We talk about it alot and have been chatting to other couples and another woman on an app set up for this. I’m very turned on by the idea when we talk about it, and love talking to other couples with my dh.

I have one big worry though, which I’m hoping those who have experience can help me with?

DH is only my second sexual partner, I was 20 when we got together… it’s been 17 years since I’ve ever touched/kissed/slept with anyone else! And although I love the idea! I’m worried about my actual feelings during and after, particularly being with another person and also, importantly watching my dh with another woman.

Can you tell me how the reality felt compared to the fantasy?

Thank

By feelings do you mean emotions?

I've had a lot with couples. I'm single. I don't have a girlfriend. It's a bit of fun. I don't take it too seriously. I do enjoy their company before and after. Especially the repeat meet ones.

Some couples have a rule that they never meet the same person twice. So as not to get attached.

@Sexytimeusername

By feelings do you mean emotions?

God that was a bloody stupid post, sorry 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've only done FFM threesomes while single but from what I've experienced and observed, the primary thing for those in relationships is making sure you're all on the same page beforehand. You need to sit down and really discuss and think about "am I going to be happy seeing my partner have sex with someone else?"

I have been with several couples where there was no or very little contact between me and the man, it was primarily about me having sex with the woman, and the man would either wank while watching us or work up to sex with his partner at the end, while I kiss her or play with her boobs, or play with myself while watching them.

If you are concerned about feeling jealous, make sure your first experience is with someone(s) you won't EVER meet again, bump into in Tesco etc - so if you do get jealous feelings, you can deal with those without the worry of having them triggered accidentally.

Also, it's totally okay to change your mind midway and realise "actually I'm not okay with this". Anyone who doesn't stop immediately doing whatever is a fucking arsehole and needs to be given a wide berth in future.

I have had MMFs with partners twice - the first was arranged via fabswingers and was bloody awful, it was clear he was not sexually attracted to me. The second was totally spontaneous and was totally awesome.

I would suggest you always make it clear that sexual health is a priority, so if you're happy with your partner having piv then he'll need to use a condom, and he'll need to change condoms if he's swapping between you.

@MsWalterMitty - I'm an occasional third for a couple that I met through Fabswingers.

We have a connection outside sex - we get on well socially. We've been out for dinner a couple of times and will chat to each other on whatsapp before a meet, and it works well.

There are no emotions involved. It's purely sex.

We originally agreed that it would be "soft play" (no piv, just foreplay). When they felt comfortable with me, we went further, but it was always at her pace. He likes to watch, and occasionally joins in. She enjoys the attention of more than one man. I get to have sex with someone else’s wife, with his permission. It’s a win-win situation!

They made it clear that, it was their house, their relationship, and their rules, and I was happy to agree with them, so it can work.

No judgement meant but what if the guy who is fucking your wife, is better at foreplay, has a bigger cock and they have better chemistry between them?

How does the husband deal with this?
What if the wife falls for the participant?

Do you need to make sure there are no cameras set up?

Had a foursome with another couple ( before DH)

I did feel some pangs on occasions. Her big firm boobs which I knew he would like but when he penetrated her I did feel jealous. He on the other hand loved seeing it happen to me and also girlie play as part of it

@Sexytimeusername

By feelings do you mean emotions?

yes

@Sexytimeusername

By feelings do you mean emotions?

sorry, just seen your next post!

[quote AverageGuy]@MsWalterMitty - I'm an occasional third for a couple that I met through Fabswingers.

We have a connection outside sex - we get on well socially. We've been out for dinner a couple of times and will chat to each other on whatsapp before a meet, and it works well.

There are no emotions involved. It's purely sex.

We originally agreed that it would be "soft play" (no piv, just foreplay). When they felt comfortable with me, we went further, but it was always at her pace. He likes to watch, and occasionally joins in. She enjoys the attention of more than one man. I get to have sex with someone else’s wife, with his permission. It’s a win-win situation!

They made it clear that, it was their house, their relationship, and their rules, and I was happy to agree with them, so it can work.[/quote]
This is really helpful, thanks for taking the time

Sorry @Sexytimeusername I meant that your reply was really helpful! Thank you x

@AverageGuy your reply was great too! Thank you

@Wandawide

Do you need to make sure there are no cameras set up?

I'm the wife, and even if another guy was better a than my husband, I am happy with what my husband gives me... he is very generous in the bedroom.

@Wandawide

Do you need to make sure there are no cameras set up?

I guess so! I never really thought about this. I have imagined that we would go to a hotel. I'll make sure it is one that I have booked.

@Namechanged1010

Had a foursome with another couple ( before DH)

I did feel some pangs on occasions. Her big firm boobs which I knew he would like but when he penetrated her I did feel jealous. He on the other hand loved seeing it happen to me and also girlie play as part of it

So you were able to overcome your pangs afterwards? Did they affect your relationship afterwards?

We have met someone, who we are talking to. She seems lovely, but my only worry is that she is in her early 20s and me and DH are in our early 40s.

My wife and I both have FWBs which we have sex with separately normally, although I've been involved with her main FWB.

We also have CWBs, that's couples with benefits.

With both it involves having sex separately, but also threesomes and foursomes.

I cannot describe the thrill I felt the first time I watched my wife suck another man's cock. It was her FWB who I mentioned above, who is an ex partner of hers. He has a bigger cock than me but that's not an issue for any of us. She let him cum in her mouth and then kissed me so I swallowed his cum and it was a big turn on.

Even with him, we know he'll never be her number one. There is never a pang of jealousy and we get on well socially as well as sexually. We've been out for meals and theatre trips. We've had MMF sex together which includes intimate MM sex.

The reality is fantastic. We have a great sex live, with each other and with others.

I really love watching my wife fuck and suck other men and women, and she enjoys watching me. Threesome and foursomes happen and I can honestly say there has never being a single pang of jealousy.

With one CWB we always meet when there's an England game, so twice in the next few days. She and I are big England fans so we watch the game whilst my wife and the other woman's husband fuck. We always make a point of having a half time shag and then at full time we all get together and have a fun, albeit drunken session.

What I'm trying to say is, let your self go, enjoy the threesomes and hopefully have many many more.

One of the women we meet had only had one partner in her life but now enjoys a healthy sex life including being sexually intimate with both my wife and I .

DP and I enjoy threesomes, foursomes and moresomes. My advice would be to make sure you agree rules of engagement first. Is kissing allowed? To what extent will you or your DH play with the woman? If someone leaves the room to go to loo does all play stop until they return? How will you check in with each other? What happens if one of you isn't feeling it? Plan for all eventualities. Share your hopes and fears.

You might want to consider trying a soft swap before going straight to full swap. You can see how you both feel about sexual intimacy with another person without any penetrative sex.

I've always found that swinging works better if I know and like the other women. I also feel more comfortable with women who are in a relationship rather than singletons.

I think it's inevitable that you make comparisons. Is she prettier than me? Better at BJs? So you have to make a real conscious effort to recognise those insecurities and understand that your thoughts are just that... thoughts, not the truth. Your relationship with DH is about so much more than sexual attraction.

Important to have a debrief after. What was good? What wasn't so great? How did you feel? Write it down if easier. There will be things you particularly liked which he didn't notice and vice versa.

And please treat any person who joins you as a human being with their own emotions and insecurities. Make sure they are comfortable and have a good time too. Check in with them after.

@ChocoholicWineLover

No judgement meant but what if the guy who is fucking your wife, is better at foreplay, has a bigger cock and they have better chemistry between them?

How does the husband deal with this?
What if the wife falls for the participant?

Anyone who "falls for" a bedroom guest on the basis of one shag is ridiculously emotionally immature. Also, bigger cock? No thanks! Better "foreplay" (aka sex) always welcomed. If you're concerned that you need to up your game, then up your game!

I can only speak from my own experience but I'd suggest sticking to roughly your own age bracket. We are very rigid in Britain about sexual desirability declining with age - just look at the daily fail's sidebar of shame.

Rank thread 🤮

@fleurbelle

Rank thread 🤮

Very helpful contribution to the discussion. 👏🏻 Are you sure you can't hoick your judgey-pants a little higher? 🤣

@fleurbelle

Rank thread 🤮

If you’re not interested in reading threads about sex then maybe don’t come on the sex board

PinotPony said it quite well. Communication before and after is key. And of course, as we are human - you may feel a bit of jealousy over something, or compare.

Thing is, as your relationship is strong - those pangs will dissipate quite quickly. You will see that these physical experiences are just that - physical. And that they don’t change you as a couple, but add a little variety.

No matter how much bigger some other guy‘s penis will be - he’ll not know you and your body as your H does; and, more importantly - he’ll not care as much about making you feel good. So - there is little chance of the woman ‘falling’ for the guy in a moresome…

As to the woman being in her 20s…
Why not? She is an adult; and has seen your pictures. If you are all interested to try - no reason to not try.
Personally - for me in these situations - I prefer men my age or older; and women younger.

@Sexytimeusername Well I assume it won’t just be one shag though, so yes the possibility of becoming emotionally attached to someone other than your partner is a possibility.
Dick size crops up on here often, as being important, so if your husband had a particularly small penis than the participant, there is a chance the husband would feel inferior.
A poster even mentioned when the other woman had big firm boobs, she had a few pangs of jealousy, so what I’ve said is perfectly valid, jealousy can work both ways.

As PinotPony said, set rules/boundaries.

The kissing one is important. A previous partner with whom I had many threesome and a few foursome absolutely drew the line at kissing, yet my wife thinks it's an important part of the game, and we both kiss others passionately.

Safe sex and no anal are our main rules. To us, penetrative sex is a given but decide that in advance. MF cock sucking and pussy licking is fine but again decide in advance what kind of intimate MM and FF you are all comfortable with. Stick with these during sex and don't fell pressured to go further. Later is the time to move on.

Always have a safe word that means Stop and stop now.

Most of all, relax and have fun.

Thanks all.

I guess it is totally normal to feel pangs of jealousy, particularly as everyone has insecurities.

We are communicating very well about what we want and our fears/desires/feelings