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Original poster

How to ask partner to 'go down' on me?

37 replies

Justanamechange1 · 05/09/2019 13:32

So this is mortifying but here goes....
Few months in to a great relationship, sex is good, i give him oral but he has never gone down there ... its something that i really enjoy receiving - just the thought is a massive turn on. Obviously i don't want him to do anything hes not comfy with but it would be nice to try. How on earth do i ask him? Im not very confident in the bedroom due to prev relationship.
All help/tips/thoughts welcome!

OP posts:
Cath2907 · 05/09/2019 13:56

Aarrghh that sounds mortifying. I hate asking for sex things... Really scary! I'd probably go with giving him a blow job and if he says it is nice I'd say "want to return the favour?" That is probably as specific as I could be!

GrannyHaddock · 05/09/2019 15:06

Does he suck and lick your boobs? Why not introduce a squirty aerosol of cream into your bedroom? You could put some on him and lick it off, and then...

xpc316e · 05/09/2019 15:24

Please forgive me for being blunt: you say that you are a few months into a great relationship, but I am wondering just how great it really is if you do not feel able to tell this chap in words of one syllable what you require him to do.

In my experience, the better the communication, the better the relationship. Therefore, if you are going to remain in this relationship something needs to change. You ought to feel relaxed enough to just come out and say that you love oral sex and that he needs to get on with the job. Take the bull by the horns and tell him straight.

Good luck.

tinyvulture · 05/09/2019 16:18

Tell him you’d really enjoy it and ask him how he feels about giving it. In my experience, some men love it and some men hate it, and if he hasn’t initiated this far I fear he may be in the latter camp?

nmc99 · 05/09/2019 16:46

I must say it would have been discussed before now if this had been me, do you sext can you get a vibe off him that way? It is a vital part of sex for me and the fact he hasn't ventured down there yet is concerning.

Original poster
Justanamechange1 · 05/09/2019 19:33

Hi all i just dont know how to have that conversation... im also worried he might hate it as not been there already! Im not good generally in asking for needs to be met... this is just very embarressing for me

OP posts:
GrannyHaddock · 05/09/2019 20:06

It's true that if he liked giving oral he might have offered. If he loved it he would gone for it anyway without asking. Honestly, if it's important to you you've got to have the conversation. He might think you don't like it or don't care about it, especially as some time has passed.

MaryPopppins · 05/09/2019 20:10

You're just going to have to ask I think.

Maybe he's nervous? And really wants to but doesn't know how to ask if you like it?

Original poster
Justanamechange1 · 05/09/2019 20:43

Thanks all I'm just gonna have to ask aren't i?! How??? What on earth do i say?

OP posts:
Happyhusband · 05/09/2019 21:17

Next time his fingers are doing their thing just say a tongue is even better.

HandsReachingOut · 05/09/2019 21:37

Suggest a 69er?

busybarbara · 05/09/2019 22:10

im also worried he might hate it as not been there already

If he hates it and you really love it it's worth knowing that while the relationship is young.

But the other poster is right. The way to approach this is via suggesting 69.

Bedsheets4knickers · 05/09/2019 22:19

He doesn't like it . If he did you"d know by now . At the same time try not giving him oral . See if that sparks a conversation.

NameChangeNugget · 06/09/2019 07:30

Like others have said, suggest a 69

Original poster
Justanamechange1 · 06/09/2019 16:19

Thanks all - fingers crossed!!

OP posts:
SomewhereInbetween1 · 06/09/2019 18:03

"suck your boobs"
That phrase has given me a really funny mental image 😂

lovesmarties · 06/09/2019 19:12

As a bloke, I continue to be utterly amazed at how coy women are, when they want something.

If you want him to go down on you, just please - for the love of God - just ask for it. If he doesn't do it quite the way you want him to do it, help him by telling him: "Ooh, babes, please do x!"

When my wife asked me to go behind her, the first time we had sex, I was utterly thrilled that I had finally found a woman whom I would not have to solve like some kind of cryptic puzzle.

We men are simple creatures and require directness!

MarieG10 · 07/09/2019 07:07

@lovesmarties The problem is that us women can be coy creatures after being conditioned (maybe not as much today) to be good girls lol

However, it is easier once you really know and are comfortable with each other, but then it begs the question for him to ask...why didn't you ask before !

I had a few things on the naughtier side that I didn't confess to wanting for a while. However, didn't object to oral.....he was always brilliant at that from the first time and continues to be!

MaryPopppins · 07/09/2019 09:45

Who else keeps popping back to see if it's happened? Grin

Happyhusband · 07/09/2019 15:12

@MaryPopppins yup I'm lurking to see if the man in the boat has been given a reason to float.

crimsonlake · 07/09/2019 15:18

Stop doing it for him, when he asks simply tell him it is his turn now. Think you will get your answer.

Londongirl07 · 13/09/2019 00:09

If he ever says he’s hungry say do you wanna eat what my mum made? And if he says what’s that point at your vagina 😂😂😂. You’ll know by his reaction

MisterT373 · 13/09/2019 08:57

Never heard that one but love it!!!

zarek · 14/09/2019 19:40

Just say, 'I would really like it if you went down on me' and see what he says. Of course like all things sexual this must be consensual but bearing in mind you are doing it for him and for women its probably even more important then I think it is worth a discussion.

Notcoolmum · 14/09/2019 21:38

What my mum made? Really?! I think that's a horrible expression.

I would say, in he heat of the moment, that you really want him to go down there in more explicit language.

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