He never comes inside me

[RadtoShayer]

My DP never comes inside me. He always pulls out and wants to ejaculate into my mouth.

Whilst I mostly don't mind this, for me, sex is about feeling close to someone and it doesn't really feel like I'm close to him when he is pulling out hurriedly and trying to change position in order to come in my mouth.

I've spoken to him about this and asked if sometimes we could have more romantic sex. It hasn't happened. In over four years he has probably came inside me five or six times. The rest is in my mouth.

I'm really starting to get fed up of this. I've asked him and he says he isn't uncomfortable about pregnancy, it is just something he has always done and he enjoys the visual aspect of it. When I raise it with him he says he will finish anywhere I want but then just goes and does his usual. He has actually physically pushed me off him in the past in order to get to my mouth.

Does anyone have any tips as to how I can approach this again. Obviously I don't want to make him uncomfortable but he says he isn't so I can only assume it is habit. I just feel a bit used by it all, like I'm not really taking part in it.

OP how are you doing?

glad you had the courage to leave, stay strong.

Hope you found the strength to stay away.

Stay strong op, you're doing brilliantly. Listen to your Mum, she sounds wise.

He says his exes "didn't have a problem with it" but they are his **exes and maybe there's a reason for that!

Average bloke here. He's a manipulative, controlling bastard and you need to leave him. The warning signs are all there. There's nothing wrong with a bit of CIM, depending on how it's done. For the man, it feels good and it signifies a deep level of acceptance that is very reassuring. Done without consent it is nasty and demeaning at the very least. It's something I happen to like, but if my DP expressed even the slightest reluctance I wouldn't even consider it. He doesn't think your feelings are worth anything - the comment about having anal instead was appalling. The mention of the violent past seals it. Get out, and get out quick.

What a bright new year you have ahead op! I hope that you are feeling glimmers of excitement at the possibilities ahead for you, hold tight to them when the habit of him tempts you. Keep imagining the good things about not having him in your life and take one step at a time.

How are things op x

Sounds exactly like my ex husband!
I even cited it in the divorce as it revolted me so much towards the end no matter how much I said I didn't want that every time. By the time I left him he literally made my skin crawl.

It was only during the divorce that I found his porn stash!!

I'm male. Wanting to ejaculate in your mouth all the time definitely isn't right. Coming inside you during PIV sex should feel intimate and thrilling, hopefully for both of you. I'm sure it's the legacy of porn use.

If he's otherwise a decent bloke, then a calm chat, not in the bedroom, is required; I have no better advice to offer than that, I'm afraid.

I added that comment, then took the trouble to read the thread, which I should have done first, so I apologise for being superfluous. I hope things are good with you, OP.

Hello, OP here. I just wanted to update you all and thank you for your advice.

I’m afraid I went back to him. But it just wasn’t the same. Something had changed inside me.

I left him and am just starting to feel better now a few months later. Thanks again for your help.

Hi OP, glad to hear the update. Stay strong, I'm sure someone more respectful will come along.

Well done, @RadtoShayer. I'm sure you won't regret it. Good luck.

Hi op. I'm glad you have now left him and are starting to feel better. Good luck with the future.

Glad to hear the update, I wondered how you were doing