He never comes inside me

[RadtoShayer]

My DP never comes inside me. He always pulls out and wants to ejaculate into my mouth.

Whilst I mostly don't mind this, for me, sex is about feeling close to someone and it doesn't really feel like I'm close to him when he is pulling out hurriedly and trying to change position in order to come in my mouth.

I've spoken to him about this and asked if sometimes we could have more romantic sex. It hasn't happened. In over four years he has probably came inside me five or six times. The rest is in my mouth.

I'm really starting to get fed up of this. I've asked him and he says he isn't uncomfortable about pregnancy, it is just something he has always done and he enjoys the visual aspect of it. When I raise it with him he says he will finish anywhere I want but then just goes and does his usual. He has actually physically pushed me off him in the past in order to get to my mouth.

Does anyone have any tips as to how I can approach this again. Obviously I don't want to make him uncomfortable but he says he isn't so I can only assume it is habit. I just feel a bit used by it all, like I'm not really taking part in it.

Don't have sex with him.

Gross. Does he satisfy you before all this?

He does normally make sure I am satisfied. It's just this one problem that's causing me issues.

Porn the standard reply of MN. ffs

It's nothing to do with porn, or pregnancy, it's about dominance and power.

Fuck that’s disgusting.
My dh doesn’t come inside me because it does reduce risk of pregnancy even more even when using birth control so we find it less stressful as don’t want an accidental pregnancy.
However he wouldn’t dream of trying to do it in my mouth. Especially if I asked him not to. What does he say when you say you don’t want that? That’s so fucked up

Nah it’s definitely porn

Spit it back into his mouth and see how HE likes it

You don't want to make him uncomfortable?? Why? He clearly doesn't give a shit about you being uncomfortable. This is really fucking weird and unacceptable. You should never have had to ask more than once. Next time he tries tell him not to fucking do that and don't let him!

Spit it back into his mouth.

Yuck this is awful. Bet this isn't the only area if the relationship where he treats his partner as less than.

Grim. I couldn't live with that.

Have you posted about this before or are there two of these jack-asses making women feel like spunk socks.

Oh god, this is really quite

OP, he isn’t treating you as a person really, if he does this every time. You’ve raised it before and got nowhere because he just isn’t interested in hearing you. This is not loving behaviour.

How on earth can he think you like it - no he has told you why he likes the visual of being able to see it - its a porn power play

I cant see him being disappointed you dont like it - what woman truthfully would like it (for themselves). He cares nothing about your pleasure as you say you cant relax for when he would do it.

Tell him no - you are as important as he is

Definitely bite it next time.

Completely revolting

OP the worst of this is you have told him how you feel and he is still doing it.....totally unaceptable.

As to him saying his other partners didn't mind well tell him he is welcome to go and stick it in one of their mouths instead......horrible man.

thats pretty grim.
I dont mind it once in a while, but to just do it every time would feel degrading to me. I mean the degradation bit is part of the fun, but if its every single time, it just means thats all he thinks of you as and it stops being sexy or fun.

It's nothing to do with porn, or pregnancy, it's about dominance and power.
^^ this

Its a dominance behaviour, that's the origin from which porn draws and it's part of the satisfaction he gets, his dominance and power over you. Facials are the same as is humiliating dirty talk.

The fact that he makes sure you are satisfied simply underlines that he's showing he is man enough to satisfy you and then he is dominating you but ejaculating in your mouth.

Not judging him on this, it's is a common fetish albeit he may not recognise it as such, but it plays a part in the satisfaction he derives from sex. However, fetish play only works if both parties are into it.

Its a dominance behaviour, that's the origin from which porn draws exactly Harmless chap

The power comes from the fact that he gets to come and have enjoyment, while you get none. IYSWIM. We (men) know that the vast majority of women don't get any real personal enjoyment from swallowing (granted you may get a vicarious pleasure). So he gets to have his orgasm while you "Service him", getting nothing back yourself.

As with Harmless chap I include facials, the guy wanking into the woman's open mouth, even anal, all as displays of dominance. Fine if it's your gig.

My ex never came inside me either. He would always want to finish off with a BJ which I didn't mind but I do totally understand the 'lack of romance' feeling you describe. It became very formulaic in the end, which was a shame as he was a lovely bloke and a great lover in every other way.

The visual aspect of what? Making you do something you don't like or want to do?

Because that's fucking creepy!!

where the spunk ends up gets decided as we're DtD in our house, we take it in turns to choose, and make the deciding part of the fun...

* Spit it back into his mouth and see how HE likes it*

^^this, with bells on

As a male i find this repeated behaviour bizarre, abnormal and unacceptable.

Is he really concerned about pregnancy or is there more to it?

Do you already have children? Maybe he fears you will deceive/trap him into having a child/another child?

I dont think its a porn thing..

Fuck that.

You don't like it, don't let him do it. Push him off, roll away, close your mouth, or simply just don't have sex with him.

You have a choice here to not be used in this way. You've told him you don't like it, he's continually ignored you. He has no respect for you.

That's grim. All of it. Sorry.