Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sex

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.

Original poster

He never comes inside me

216 replies

RadtoShayer · 20/11/2017 08:37

My DP never comes inside me. He always pulls out and wants to ejaculate into my mouth.

Whilst I mostly don't mind this, for me, sex is about feeling close to someone and it doesn't really feel like I'm close to him when he is pulling out hurriedly and trying to change position in order to come in my mouth.

I've spoken to him about this and asked if sometimes we could have more romantic sex. It hasn't happened. In over four years he has probably came inside me five or six times. The rest is in my mouth.

I'm really starting to get fed up of this. I've asked him and he says he isn't uncomfortable about pregnancy, it is just something he has always done and he enjoys the visual aspect of it. When I raise it with him he says he will finish anywhere I want but then just goes and does his usual. He has actually physically pushed me off him in the past in order to get to my mouth.

Does anyone have any tips as to how I can approach this again. Obviously I don't want to make him uncomfortable but he says he isn't so I can only assume it is habit. I just feel a bit used by it all, like I'm not really taking part in it.

OP posts:
LizB62A · 22/11/2017 18:12

Next time, bite it.....

dameglittersparkles · 22/11/2017 18:15

🤢🤢🤢
He sounds vile OP my DH likes to do it in my mouth but would never behave this way!

Original poster
RadtoShayer · 22/11/2017 19:03

Slight update - I've spoken to him on the phone and told him that we needed to change things up. I know it would be better to have discussed this face to face but I felt like I had to say something whilst I had the courage.

He didn't take it too well. He kept repeating that he liked coming in my mouth and was a bit sulky. His sole suggestion to address this was that he would come in my backside. Hmm he always tries to divert away from discussions like this by making jokes.

At least I've raised it though. I said we needed to discuss on Friday properly when he was back.

To the pp who asked - I am a long way over the age of consent. Thanks for your concern though.

OP posts:
cloudchasing · 22/11/2017 19:07

There you go. He wants dirty porn sex, and it's all about him. Does that answer your questions?

CaptainBrickbeard · 22/11/2017 19:08

He is a creep. No means no, it doesn't matter how much he likes it - you don't so it stops. He sounds utterly revolting, selfish and hideously immature. How dare he sulk! I don't understand why this is up for discussion at all. Most men are not like this, OP. You don't have to tolerate it, not even one more time.

DeleteOrDecay · 22/11/2017 19:12

He’s a pig, putting what he wants first without even thinking about what you might want or like. He’s using your inexperience against you. And people say porn isn’t damagingHmm

Op you can do so much better than this. Please have a think whilst he is away about whether you can live like this, being degraded in this way forever.

Msqueen33 · 22/11/2017 19:13

I’ve always found defensive, sulky people know they’re in the wrong and want their own way and use tactics like this to get it.

DeleteOrDecay · 22/11/2017 19:13

In fact I wouldn’t even say he’s a pig because that’s insulting to pigs. How dare he sulk. Ask him if he would have it in his mouth every time, and if not why not?

TheBeastOfRoystonVasey · 22/11/2017 19:14

I would dump the dirty bastardHmm

ElspethFlashman · 22/11/2017 19:16

His sole suggestion to address this was that he would come in my backside

Bleeeeugh. Mr Porny McPorn of Grimness.

I'm sure he's the usual clichéd "lovely guy most of the time" but I wouldn't touch him with his best mates dick.

DPotter · 22/11/2017 19:22

I'm tempted to suggest you ask him why he doesn't like your vagina - there I said it.

Unless you're happy with anal sex, don't. If you've never tried it and don't fancy it - don't.

There is a difference between giving oral sex and awith your partner ejaculating in your mouth and a partner expecting you to let him ejaculate in your mouth. The first is for mutual pleasure, with partners giving and receiving. The second is taking, with no regard for the giver's preferences.

I suppose it could be argued that he also has the 'right' to ejaculate where he likes (as long as its legal), and yes he has, but if you as the partner don't like it, there is a sexual incompatibility for which there is no compromise.

Frankly if someone wasn't listening to my preferences I wouldn't be offering any sex privileges.

ijustwannadance · 22/11/2017 19:23

Leave him and go find some fantastic, respectful sex elsewhere.

bringbacksideburns · 22/11/2017 19:24

He isn't listening to you is He? It's all about him.

You say he's your first sexual partner, yes?
Well I would say occasionally fine. But every time?? Odd.
It's obviously his thing but it doesn't sound much like yours.

Do you enjoy it too?
You don't have to do this you know.

AnyFucker · 22/11/2017 19:25

Christ, some women put up with some proper shit men. I am sure you could do better than this.

Munchyseeds · 22/11/2017 19:42

The more I read the worse it gets.Sad
Walk away and find someone who actually cares and has respect for you

Quartz2208 · 22/11/2017 19:49

With the greatest respect the ages matter a lot as he is taking complete advantage of you - look at his answer and exactly how he sees you.

Im sorry to say but the majority of relationships are not like this (mine certainly havent) and it is based on porn - particularly his answer which shows its all about him

The question is what do you want to do now you realise exactly what you mean to him

Regressionconfession · 22/11/2017 19:57

That’s bloody grim op. That’s not what sex looks like in a normal loving relationship. And it’s noteworthy that at no point have you said anything about your sexual satisfaction or preferences.

Ropsleybunny · 22/11/2017 20:03

Jesus wept, are you really putting up with this?

deadringer · 22/11/2017 20:10

What a douche-bag. I would ltb.

lazyleo · 22/11/2017 20:17

This is wrong. Plain simple wrong. In my opinion you are a step away from being sexually assaulted here - you need to say no and it sounds like he would ignore you any way. The comment about his 'alternative' sounds suspiciously threatening to me.

It worries me that you think of this as normal - I fear there are other aspects of your relationship that you also think are normal, and which for most of us would certainly not be.
Have you kept in contact with your friends and family or have you slowly lost touch as your relationship with this excuse for a man got more involved? Be honest with yourself.

gingergenius · 22/11/2017 20:17

By coming in your mouth, he's marking his territory because he can 'see' where he's marked you. It's very much a dominance thing and has absolutely been reinforced by his porn use.

As lots have said, nothing abnormal every now and then but if this is the only way he gets off, it's a problem.

Even more so if you are starting to resent it,

BackToTheCaveman · 22/11/2017 20:19

As a wise poster above wrote - I include facials, the guy wanking into the woman's open mouth, even anal, all as displays of dominance oh that would have been me it's all about power.
Of course he kept repeating that he liked coming in my mouth it's his power play.

However as HarmlessChap and I have said (above), it's nothing to do with porn. It's the other way around. Porn is reflecting an aspect of sex, that some men get off on. The porn is reflecting the behaviour, not creating it. This guy sounds like he doesn't need porn because he has his "needs" met at home.

The age difference and I suspect the other aspects of the sex do not surprise me at all.

Spatchcock · 22/11/2017 20:23

Oh GROSS re that update. He's awful. I imagine he will agree and then expect you to slip back into old ways, because I guarantee his former partners really weren't okay with this and you've stuck around for longest.

This really, really isn't what a functional relationship looks like. I'm sorry OP, but time to get rid.

gingergenius · 22/11/2017 20:24

Just read your update.

What a tosser!
Pun intended.
So he wants to humiliate and degrade you??? Your needs are irrelevant???

Is this what you want OP? Anal, oral, bdsm, water sports or whatever you like is absolutely fine but not if you're doing it just to please someone else. It MUST be genuinely and mutually agreed.

Please think about this.

Ijustlovefood · 22/11/2017 20:26

I have never let a man do this, I just couldn't. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it.

This topic prevents users from posting on it until they have been members for at least 7 days.