He never comes inside me

[RadtoShayer]

My DP never comes inside me. He always pulls out and wants to ejaculate into my mouth.

Whilst I mostly don't mind this, for me, sex is about feeling close to someone and it doesn't really feel like I'm close to him when he is pulling out hurriedly and trying to change position in order to come in my mouth.

I've spoken to him about this and asked if sometimes we could have more romantic sex. It hasn't happened. In over four years he has probably came inside me five or six times. The rest is in my mouth.

I'm really starting to get fed up of this. I've asked him and he says he isn't uncomfortable about pregnancy, it is just something he has always done and he enjoys the visual aspect of it. When I raise it with him he says he will finish anywhere I want but then just goes and does his usual. He has actually physically pushed me off him in the past in order to get to my mouth.

Does anyone have any tips as to how I can approach this again. Obviously I don't want to make him uncomfortable but he says he isn't so I can only assume it is habit. I just feel a bit used by it all, like I'm not really taking part in it.

Maybe he fears you will deceive/trap him into having a child/another child? Erm...men do not display controlling behaviour like this in order to avoid "being trapped" by pregnancy. They use condoms.

But well done on trying to push the blame for clearly abusive & controlling behaviour on the victim. Seriously, is it NEVER a mans fault when he is acting like a prick??

Thanks once again. I haven't spoken to him yet about it, as he is now away for a couple of days with work.

I will update you once I've spoken to him. I am a little surprised that people think this is controlling behaviour, as it just seems normal to me.

Just to clarify I've haven't told him I don't like it at all, just that I don't want it in my mouth every time.

You've all given me a lot to think about - thanks.

So here is my idea, next time he does it, take a bite at his man parts. Tell him you were so excited, that you had to clench your jaws. Might make him wary, without offending him

How do you feel realising even the men on the thread say it’s controlling and about dominance and power and not the norm for most people

Look, he's being unreasonable, tell him the next time he does it, you'll bite it off! Joking aside, don't be shy in voicing your opinions because he's making this whole situation awkward.
This is how it should go:

'Babe, I don't mind you coming in my mouth but can we do things a bit differently?'

'Yeah, no problem, let's give it a go'

Job done 👍😊

Yeah his ex partners didn't mind but funny how they're now ex's? Food for thought (scuse the pun)🤔

I feel sick!

Of course it seems normal to you, that is what he wants. He has made it feel normal

I hate it, it makes me gag. Which has put my DP off.

Apparently heaving and running to the bathroom to rinse out your mouth isn't sexy.

What makes you think it’s normal - is he your first partner?

I’ve hardly sowed my oats - slept with less than 10 men - but this has never, ever even been on my/their radar. Every so often = fine if both like it. Every time = really strange.

Maybe he fears you will deceive/trap him into having a child/another child?

and the logical path to take to avoid pregnancy is ejaculating in someone's mouth?

DO you like it, OP? If not, fuck him and his disappointment, or making him uncomfortable. This is totally grim.

Radtoshayer as you don't like confrontation a suggestion - next time you are starting to have sex, I would just say in a sexy way, "just come inside me, I dont want it in my mouth".

Make sure he can hear you, and if he at the end goes to do it again then stop everything and say "I said I didnt want you to do that" then it's a conversation about how he doesn't respect your wishes.

This isn't about people thinking it's disgusting or not, everyone has different turn ons, if two people are happy and consenting then its fine.

This is about him not respecting* your wishes, putting* his wishes above your own and dominating a part of your sex life. Which isnt acceptable in an equal and loving partnership.

He is my first sexual partner so yeah, I suppose I am a bit naive as to what is and isn't normal. He seems to have taken advantage of that a little bit! However, I've probably encouraged that because I don't want to hurt his feelings.

I like your idea Mrstumbletap as there can be no misunderstandings then. If he tries to do his usual trick I can then say I clearly told him what I wanted and what was acceptable to me.

To PPs I'm definitely not trying to trap him into a pregnancy. It would make me really sad if that is what he thought.

Im guessing as well there is an age gap between you as well. I think he is taking advantage of that naivety to tell you something is normal when its not

Sorry but this just shows how much he respects you - he doesn't

How old are you and how old is he ?

I don't really want to say our ages but there is an age gap of around ten years between us (he is older).

It just gets worse. He is TOTALLY taking advantage of you. This is NOT how the vast, vast majority of people have sex.

Its the manipulation which is disturbing here, not the act.

I'm no prude but I don't think I'd want him to touch me if those were his demands every time.

You need to tell him straight . He has an issue with porn clearly by him wanting to cum only in your mouth . He sounds extremely selfish and a bit predictable op I don't know how you can let him do it after being inside you ( each to their own though) anyways I'd maybe start by asking him to stop with all the open videos and make him understand that sex is not always like porn and he needs to learn how to be romantic and un selfish in bed . He defo needs to quit with all the porn . He is using you a son his own personal porn star

It sounds like he has taken advantage of you being naive a little. I can count on one hand how many times my husband has done this in 13 years, I think he did it once maybe twice in the early days and I found it gross and messy (cum in your hair when they miss never good) he knew I wasn't a fan so has never tried since.

If you aren't a huge fan of it you need to be a bit more assertive and make it clear. If he throws you off to do it after you've had a chat about it, just get up and walk off to the bathroom, leave him to it. He'll soon get the message. Oh and don't be going along with stuff he likes just because he enjoys it, if you don't don't do it!!

I would never let anyone do this it's so demeaning.

It's basically
'Open your mouth so I can throw in the waste that comes out my dick after I have just fucked you'

Please stop agreeing to this op.

I wouldn't be suprised if he is taking advantage of you in other ways.

I hope your at the age of consent.

He sounds perverse.

differentnameforthis...are you a man? None of us really know what is all behind this and only the OP can really drill down and find out if she has the courage and will to do so.

He denied it and said even before he watched porn, this was something he liked to do.

Bollocks is it. This sort of thing originates from porn, he would have got the idea from it at some point.

I just think he'd be so disappointed if I said I didn't like it

Meh, if he’s disappointed he’s disappointed. Not your problem. Don’t continue with something that sounds awful and degrading you aren’t comfortable with just to avoid disappointing him. After all, he hasn’t shown much consideration for you all this time has he? He’s treating you like a cum dumpster so he doesn’t have to clean up the mess.

I don't think there is anything wrong with him cumming in your mouth, it doesn't represent closeness or respect or whatever else. The problem is that it's every time and he has totally ignored you when you've asked him to change things. If he pushes you to put it in your mouth you must be tempted to bite him!!

Tell him either in a conversation or during sex, where you want him to do it and don't let him push you around! You aren't an inflatable doll, you're a person.