Hi,
I honestly don't know what to do and if this is the right place to be posting but something pretty awful happened today and I'm feeling very ashamed and completely disturbed, as I should be tbh 
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First of all I should say that I do watch porn and I like quite rough sex/ submissive scenarios. I'm female. I know a lot of people would disagree with porn and those particular fantasies and I'm starting to think maybe I agree, particularly after today.
Anyway what happened is that I accidentally watched something I really really shouldn't have. I won't go into any details, it didn't involve children or animals or anything but basically it turned out towards the end to not be what I'd thought at all. In a very disturbing way.
I feel shellshocked tbh and like the worst person ever for having viewed it, it did not turn me on in any way and I would never ever seek that out but I feel complicit in something awful and just totally ashamed. I don't know what to do. I can't really quite believe it. Apart from the fact that it's forever in my internet browsing history which is worrying in a different sense, I just don't feel I can process this alone but I can't talk to anyone either. Can anyone please help or advise?