How???? Without looking/being ridiculous?

[BitchfaceBarclay]

Off for a weekend with the H. Been together 20+ years. Grown up DCs. Very infrequent sex.
I'm a slightly drunken moment I did some shopping on LoveHoney.

How the bloody hell do I put my purchases into use without looking/feeling/being ridiculous and without making him run away screaming?

Just how?

Good luck

Use text messages or comments to set the tone earlier in the day, make him think he's into a promise, build the suspense so when he catches a glimpse of your sexy bodysuit he cant take it anymore!

I am going to be ridiculous.

Sex is inherently ridiculous anyway.
Frankly if you don't look ridiculous during sex, you're not doing it right!

I've been reading your sciatica thread and just wanted to say that I have found orgasms quite helpful with the pain so obviously make sure you get your fill

Orgasm and gabapentin. Could be interesting 😁

I think approach it from a comedy angle? "I bought these dear, shall we/I put them on (use them?) for a laugh..?"
And turn the lights off and have a couple of candles for more flattering lighting.

Crotchless bodysuit accessorised with a hot water bottle and Tens.
Lucky lucky man.

I couldn't even walk on gabapentin so I doth my cap to you dear!

I can't walk far but I can float.

Bitchface you are hilarious and brave in equal measure. I think it'll be great. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Tens machines can be used in smutty ways...

🤣 well, you've cheered me up, thank,you.

I'd wear the catsuit under something & just let him find it. I'd put the toys near to hand and grab one/them if the mood seems right. If the time doesn't seem right, don't, there will be another time.

Does alcohol with meds make you feel ill, or is it just not recommended? If it's just not recommended I'd ignore it this once.

I'm in kinks here laughing bitch - I have a very vivid picture of events in my head

Laughing at '24 years with the same willy'

God yes I feel your pain!

A bit off topic but if you really don't want to use any of it or it all goes epically wrong I'm pretty sure LoveHoney do returns up to a year after purchase (even after use! )

Oh sweet lord. What if the Tens gets dislodged and sticks to Other Things? What would that do?

Holy shit Barclay do not let the Tens get stuck to anything else!! Can you imagine

Haha!!!

Well I reckon you wouldn't of have any need of toys if you had TEN's

Might get one 🤔

Well, it would save waxing...

Shave everything first. Then go for it.

oh Op! I have just bought my first EVER vibrator at the ripe age of 41. Sadly no DH but I am looking forward to giving it a test run...

Might graduate to crotchless bodysuit at a later date - however my pants are that 'done' they'd be a reasonable compromise!!

I'm not sure if Lovehoney still sell Electrastim, but if they do check the prices on there.

Lots of people use Tens machines cause they're cheaper and do the same thing.

So I've heard