Sex with new partner who hasn't had it for a while

[Lovemusic33]

So I have met a lovely guy, we are still on the early stages of dating but we have talked quite openly about sex and we have arranged a dat for next week for him to come to my house for the first time. We have both been very open about everything, he's a little worried as he hasn't slept with anyone since splitting with his wife 5 years ago ( he has been quite ill and has had cancer so getting into a relationship wasn't a priority), he says he feels a bit like a virgin. I want to make him feel as comfortable as possible but haven't got a clue how?? I'm not expecting it to be amazing as first times are always a bit awkward. Any tips?

May be old-fashioned, but why not wait a while? If you're still in the early stages of dating, why rush it? You'll never have that same sense of anticipation again. Just cuddle, kiss, be together, chat, have fun, see where things go.

I don't mind waiting if he wants too but he seems keen , I have let him take the lead a little as I don't want to seem pushy. We spoke for about 2 hours on the phone last night and he said he feels really comfortable with me. I am looking forward to DTD and I feel completely comfortable with him and he says he feels the same. He's just worried he might let me down by either not lasting very long or for lasting too long, I'm really not bothered as it will be nice just to be close to each other.

Maybe start off by saying that you aren't expecting anything from the night, you just want to spend time with him and if it naturally heads that way you can see where it leads you.

It might keep the pressure off and there really is no hurry.

Thank you, I think i will do that, I am happy just to hug, touch, kiss and see how we feel. I want him to be relaxed .

Practise saying these phrases:
"I love it when my partner does X"
"Will you do Y? It's so fucking hot"
"I want to suck your cock. Tell me how you like it sucked."

The ability to ask for what you want, and to ask your partner that they want, increases the chances of a great sexual encounter exponentially!

Thank you, we have talked loads about what each other like and don't like, I think he now seems more relaxed about it than me.

He told me that he shaves down there, I'm now worried as that will probably mean he would like me shaven? Although I love being hair free I get really bad shaving rash and it hurts like hell when it starts growing back , to shave or not to shave?

Shave, be smooth! But not with a razor, maybe try a hair remover.

OP, have you actually met this man in the flesh?

If you like being hair free but get shaving rash why don't you get waxed?

Or why not keep your bush and tell him to grow his back?

Firstly, have your pubes however the hell you prefer.

Secondly, planning a night for you to have sex for the first time won't work. There will be so much pressure on that one night for both of you. Just take your time and see where it naturally leads.

Post-it notes on the bits to remember.

Is it normal for a bloke to shave even though he's not been in a relationship for 5 years?

Have you met him in the flesh yet?

I agree with BaDumShh, let it happen organically, do it when you are comfortable and turned on enough to have sex with this man. Dont change your body to suit him, have your body how you feel good. Even with dh of 16 years I hate planned sex nights, theres too much pressure.

Yes, of course I have met him n the flesh, would be a bit worried if I hadn't ( how would I know if I find him sexually attractive?) .
I'm not overly bothered about being shaven or hairy, I used to shave but haven't for a while ( due to being single ), he shaves because he thinks it's more hygienic, it doesn't bother me either way.

He is staying over for the night so we kind of know it will happen, I posted on here because he told me he hadn't been with anyone for 5 years and he's a little worried about how he will preform, I just want to make him feel comfortable.

I just don't understand why a man who isn't having sex and relationships would shave his genitals for the sake of hygiene. Who would do that? Is he a real gym bunny? A weightlifter?

I don't understand why you are giving this so much head space

Do with your fanny what you wish. Stop trying to micromanage what should come naturally. Quit handhold in and infantilising a grown man

People have been having sex for millenia. Just with the flow, fgs

*go

AF is right.

Yes, of course I have met him n the flesh, would be a bit worried if I hadn't ( how would I know if I find him sexually attractive?)

Face time?
Photos?
Skype?

I know I'm giving it too much headspace, I tend to over think things, I know all will be fine. Thanks for the advice.

And yes I have met him, I have spent some time with him ( in the flesh ), I don't talk to him on Skype or FaceTime , we talk face to face or on the phone.

I know people have sex all the time, I am one of those people , I just wanted to make sure he is comfortable, I have spoken to him about it and all is ok, no rush, no preasure, just see what happens.

And he's not a gym buff or a weight lifter , why can't a single guy or single woman shave? I like to keep my lady garden under control wether I'm single or not.

I met a few men in a similar position (not ill, just hadn't had sex since divorce some time before) and there was usually some amount of performance anxiety. Both of you need to expect it, and you have to respond sensitively so maybe prime him "whatever we do will be fine". Good luck!

Wax. Full Hollywood. Never shave.

Two ways to hit this.
A bottle of wine , nice food and let the evening develop.
Second one. When he arrives and you hello kiss let it happen straight away. You two will probably be so wound up , excited with anticipation doing it straight away may be really passionate.

I'd just tidy up down there. Why people are hung up on people's pube preferences is funny. Male grooming is now equal to female grooming and has been for many years.

Enjoy.