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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

am i exhibiting pfb tendencies or aibr?

28 replies

stitch · 26/08/2008 12:57

do i take ds to school in car? or let him take bus? if he takes the school bus, he leaves the house before seven, and wontbe back till after six. if i take him, then he leaves at half seven, and we will hopefully have the oppurtunity to have conversations both then, and on the way back. we should be home by half four, five at the latest...
i also have two other kids, so driving him is not the easy option. i just think an eleven hour day will be too much for an eleven year old, plus i will be completely cut out of his life.
suggestions please

OP posts:
Original poster
stitch · 26/08/2008 12:58

its a 13 mile round trip. in the car this morning, no school traffic, it took us an hour.

OP posts:
Anna8888 · 26/08/2008 12:59

Is this a school bus or a public bus?

Anna8888 · 26/08/2008 12:59

Can I ask why you are sending him to a school so far from home?

pigleto · 26/08/2008 12:59

give the bus a try. he might make friends.

ThatBigGermanPrison · 26/08/2008 13:00

11 hour day too long, I'd take him in the car, and if that isn't feasible I'd move him to a school closer to home. I'd be wrecked after an 11 hour day, never mind a child.

Anna8888 · 26/08/2008 13:01

I took a bus a long way to school at 11 (to a grammar school, so far from the nearest school from home) and I would never ever want my children to do it - I got so incredibly tired I think the benefits of a good school were lost on me.

Original poster
stitch · 26/08/2008 13:02

its a school bus. will pick him up ten to fifteen minutes walk away from our house, but knowing him, i may well be having to drop him to the stop [sigh]
why he is going to a school so far from home..... need several threads to answer that question [sigh] in a nutshell, it seems to be the most suitable school for him

OP posts:
MatNanPlus · 26/08/2008 13:02

What would DS like to do?

Are any of his friends on the bus?

Any possiblity of car share?

Or if DS wants to use the bus why not try till Oct half term then reassess.

Could you do a split week of bus & car?

Aimsmum · 26/08/2008 13:03

Message withdrawn

Anna8888 · 26/08/2008 13:06

Could he not take the bus in the morning and you pick him up in the evening, or vice versa?

Original poster
stitch · 26/08/2008 13:07

the car will be very difficult for me, with the younger kids, and driving back this morning, i just could no t believe that i was volunteering to do this. but i think it would be better for him.
the point about making friends on the bus is a valid one. but does it cancel out how tired he will become?
and if he isnt doing an afterschool club, then he will have to hand around the school for almost an hour before he can get it home. in a few years time, he will be able to take the train, if he wants to, but right now, the local bus isnt an option. too many changes
not sure what to do

OP posts:
Original poster
stitch · 26/08/2008 13:08

okie, i;ll call the school and find out if we can do a split.

OP posts:
ThatBigGermanPrison · 26/08/2008 13:08

let him get the bus in the morning then, as is hard work for you, and collect him in the evening when it will make a big difference, timewise.

elkiedee · 26/08/2008 13:10

It seems a long way to send your child, but if that's your decision, another option would be to just drive him one way. Perhaps send him in on the bus and pick him up, then he'll get home much earlier from what you've said. Or just pick up some days.

elkiedee · 26/08/2008 13:12

Cross post, lots of people have made the same sort of suggestion I did.

MrsMattie · 26/08/2008 13:12

What does your son want to do? I would have hated my mum driving me to and from secondary school!

christywhisty · 26/08/2008 13:53

Why can't he take the train now?
My DS just going into yr8 takes the train to school only takes 8 minutes as opposed to nearly an hour on the bus.

Spoo · 26/08/2008 13:57

I used to catch the school coach to school. Great way to socialise and cath up on a few zzs or homework!!! I also did an 11 hour day and it didn't knacker me I was very used to it.

Original poster
stitch · 26/08/2008 14:13

well, i have spoken tot he school, and it seems i will be able to leave it till next week till i have to decide. also, i think i will find out what he really wants, and this week of induction should give us both a reasonable idea.
the train is a viable option. i need to find out how much it costs. but i think i may be being a bit pfb about him taking public transport on his own. sill really , as he has been making his own way to primary school since the summer term of year five

OP posts:
curleyshirley · 26/08/2008 14:14

Same as spoo - I used to catch the coach to school, left home about 7am and got home about 5pm. I loved it, was time for finishing off homework in the mornings, eating breakfast etc...and for socialising in the evenings. People at my shcool who didnt get the coach used to feel quite of those on coaches!

roisin · 26/08/2008 14:41

That is a long day and I do understand your hesitations, but I think my starting point would be to try the school bus and see how it goes. Otherwise to investigate the train.

My ds1 (11) will be taking public service bus to school from September, but it's only a short journey - about 3 miles I think (and we don't have heavy traffic round here ), and there are buses every 20 mins. He's cool about it and so are we.

Original poster
stitch · 26/08/2008 16:36

well, we had a lovely long chat in the car on the way back. just as i envisaged. but he wants to take the bus.. i have spoken to the school, and they say i can do a mix, as long as they know precisely which days he wont be using the school bus.
so after all the palava, and heartache, its sorted.

OP posts:
Neeerly3 · 26/08/2008 16:44

doh, was just about to post about my own 11 - 18 year old experience of a bus journey, but you are sorted....well done

Original poster
stitch · 26/08/2008 16:46

neerly3, please tell me. i havent put anything in writing yet, and no cheques have been sent yet either.
everything can be changed

OP posts:
Neeerly3 · 26/08/2008 16:52

oh it was nothing earth shattering, i went to school about 16 miles away, parents driving me wasn't an option - mum didn't/doesn't drive and my dad did shift work.

I did the school bus, paid for by school as it was a church school and I had a form filled in by my local Vicar to say I was a regular church goer.

Left home before 7 to walk approx 2 miles to the bus stop, my mum would walk this with me. I got dropped off at about half 5 (I remember being home in time for Neighbours!).

Yes I was tired, but my mum knew this and I had a ritual lie in on a Saturday morning, til about Lunchtime!

The school was a great school, I got a great education, I made friends outside of my class/year because I travelled for a total of 3 hours every day with them. I don't know what my mums view on it was - probably Needs Must, there was no way she was sending me to the local secondary school as she worked there and knew what it was like! my sister went to the same school as me and achieved even more than I did.

No advice, more a tale to tell really! He will be fine is the underlying message I guess.