am i exhibiting pfb tendencies or aibr?

[stitch]

do i take ds to school in car? or let him take bus? if he takes the school bus, he leaves the house before seven, and wontbe back till after six. if i take him, then he leaves at half seven, and we will hopefully have the oppurtunity to have conversations both then, and on the way back. we should be home by half four, five at the latest...
i also have two other kids, so driving him is not the easy option. i just think an eleven hour day will be too much for an eleven year old, plus i will be completely cut out of his life.
suggestions please

I used to make him get the bus in the morning and pick him up in the afternoone.

I think you're being a bit pfb-ish about it (said in the nicest possible way ) ds has been taking the train to school 9 miles away since the start of Y6, so from when he was 10 - it's a mile walk to the station, 15 minute train journey, then half a mile or so from station to school - he loves it it's one of his favourite parts of the day as he gets to see friends from outside his year, plus two of his closest friends from his class are on the same route

using public transport by himself has made an enormous difference to his self-confidence - and gives him a lot of kudos with kids who're still being driven to school

he would have hated using the school bus as it goes all round the houses and takes much longer, plus it's about 10 times more expensive

having said that, his train journey is feasible as he doesn't have any changes and lots of other boys at his school use the same train so there are always older boys looking out for the younger ones - if it were a complicated journey which he'd be tackling on his own I'd probably feel very differently

anyway, I'd definitely investigate the train option sooner rather than later - after all, your other kids are not going to be happy being lugged around constantly to have to pick up their older brother - I know mine wouldn't ....

I agree with misum that it definitely gives them confidence. All of ds1's new yr7 mates are being driven to the new school.

On his first induction day dh took him to school on the service bus, and I collected him and brought him back. On the second induction day it was impossible for either of us to collect him, and he agreed he was happy to get the bus on his own.

The other students - his yr and the older students who were also getting the bus - were very impressed at his independence, and one of the highlights of his day was chatting to them at the bus stop.

I work at a secondary and I know how much they change in the first 3-4 months. Ds1 still seems so young and so dependent, but in a few months' time he will be barely recognisable.

what a scary thought!