Did you let your child choose their school?

[AhBiscuits]

DD is heading into Y6 so we'll be choosing her secondary shortly. We agree on 3 schools for the list but disagree with the order.

School 1 is a brilliant school and top choice for both DD and us. No guarantee we'll get a place. If you are within the catchment area, which we are, it's just names in a hat, pure luck. Every year there are lots of disappointed families.

School 2 is also a very good school. It's our safe choice for the list because she'd definitely get in to this one. Some of DD's friends will go here, it's a short walk from home.

School 3 is an all girls school. Similar to School 1, admission is a lottery so we just don't know if she'd get in.

DD wants to put School 3 as second choice. My main issue with that is I really want both my kids to go to the same school. It would be a lot more convenient and they could look out for eachother a bit. DS is two years below and obviously cannot go to School 3. I don't know if I should overrule her or not. She's quite taken with the idea of a girls school. A couple of neighbour kids she's friends with are going there in September.

But the OP isn't talking about choosing the best school for her dd - she is talking about choosing the best school for her convenience as a parent , and for her younger brother.

This is a hypothetical non-issue. Your daughter has put forward sensible arguments for her school preference. Between now and when your son goes to secondary, many things may change. Your reasoning really does not stand up to any scrutiny! Do you have some other reasons for wanting school 2?

School 2 is close so I will worry less about her getting herself there and back. Lots of children from her current school will go there, I think only a few will go to the girls school. Those are the only other reasons that come to mind, in addition to those mentioned.

The pros of the girls school are that it has slightly better results and DD wants to go there more.

The difference in results doesn't concern me too much, it's a pretty small difference. DD is quite studious and I think will do well in any of the schools.

You’re the parent, she’s 10/11 you choose

We chose together. DS had two independent school offers and a state school place. He had a strong preference for one of the indys (and we felt that was the best option too) so we chose that school. He is a little sad to be leaving his yr 6 friends (some of whom he had known since he started nursery at 9 months) but excited for his new school.

I would normally say that it's the parent's decision (with input from DC), but it seems that your DD has very clear and sensible ideas about schools, while you're considering her brother in a couple of years time, and your own convenience (I don't mean that unkindly, as I know that we can make things more complicated than they need to be, particularly when it comes to schools).

For what it's worth, please ignore the vague feelings of "girls schools are bitchy". Girls schools have huge advantages, imo:

Girls do not have to encounter any sexual harassment. This is real and it's endemic in most mixed schools.

Girls often adapt their behaviour in the presence of boys, for instance in adopting moderating roles in discussion, being reticent in voicing opinion, in their choice of subjects for study, and in their withdrawal from co-ed PE and sports activities. Girls are under pressure to "be kind" in all things. In all-girls schools, girls are more able to show leadership and take risks.

I agree with pp, that transport/inset days at secondary are not that big an issue, as they will be more independent. Find the best school for your DD, and then when the time comes, the best for DS.

Absolutely not. She was 10. It's a parental decision at that age.
I visited a huge range, then took her to see my shortlist.
Happily her favourite was also mine, but it wouldn't have mattered if it wasn't.
If you have options where there's no real difference and you have no strong opinion then fair enough, let them pick the one with the nicest biscuits or the one where they liked some child they met on the tour who probably won't even end up going there.