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Secondary education

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Original poster

Year 11 - how awful is it? Experiences please

31 replies

BigSandyBalls2015 · 03/09/2016 09:51

I have two DCs starting year 11 next week and I'm kind of dreading it.

One of them is self motivated and just gets on with stuff, the other not so. I will need to bribe, beg, cajole, threaten, confiscate. I've accepted that I will need to do this to get her through her GCSEs, but if by some miracle she does get the fab grades she's capable of then I'm not doing any of that for A level.

OP posts:
Original poster
BigSandyBalls2015 · 03/09/2016 09:52

Worried that the self motivated one will put herself under too much pressure.

OP posts:
yeOldeTrout · 03/09/2016 10:23

It kind of sounds like it will be as bad as you make it with the unmotivated kid. I'm glad that you have decided that yr11 is the last year you do this cajoling routine, but then you need to be prepared for her to bomb yr12 and have some planBs if she really isn't 6th form material. You'll be pleasantly surprised if she does get her Act together for yr12.

I have a can't-be-arsed (just finished yr11) & an over-worker (about to start yr10). The over-worker is much more stressful for me. I want to throttle the over-worker for being so ridiculous.

TheSecondOfHerName · 03/09/2016 13:26

DS1 found Y11 a bit relentless. The Autumn Term was back-to-back controlled assessments, then as soon as those finished it was time to revise for the mock exams in January. As soon as those were over, there was pressure to choose A-level subjects before a February deadline. Then it was time to arrange post-GCSE work experience. In March there was an opportunity to re-do the lowest-graded controlled assessment to try for a higher grade. Then from Easter onwards he was revising for his exams, which started in the first week of May. None of this is unachievable, but there was no let-up from September through to June.

TheSecondOfHerName · 03/09/2016 13:28

I think you are making the right choice to cajole support her through her GCSEs. A lot of 15 year olds don't have the maturity or foresight to realise that they need these qualifications, especially in English and Maths.

TheSecondOfHerName · 03/09/2016 13:31

DS1 is about to start Y12 and I'm going to be taking a step back and letting him get on with it himself.

DS2 is starting Y10 and has a tendency to be overly conscientious, so he will need to pace himself and find a good balance between work and relaxation (something that came naturally to DS1).

FantasyAndHope · 03/09/2016 17:30

Year11 had many ups and downs for me and my dd.
DD does igcse so no controlled assessments barring history and that was a stress.
It's just about supporting them as much as possible and pushing them. For a lot of under achievers mocks are a thing that can give them a kick to work harder. Our mocks were first week back in January so the Christmas holidays were tough

LIZS · 03/09/2016 17:40

Dd is a combination of your 2 - desperate to do well, good all-rounder but difficult to get to actually write to deadlines and stresses if chivvied. English coursework draft due in a week and barely started. MFL assessments early October. Ds just got on with it but fear she will be more problematic. Ds has picked a good year to start uni and avoid it! Things won't get any easier when we need to decide A level options either. Don't envy you having 2 at once.

QueenofQuirkiness · 04/09/2016 10:09

My eldest DD is an over-worker going into year 11. I know she will try her best, but I can't help worrying that she's going to put too much pressure on herself and burn out

FantasyAndHope · 04/09/2016 10:55

queen
Pessure is a big thing in DDs case it was the teachers mainly to push the ones who won't work. Just be prepared to stop her as she can burn herself out

RalphSteadmansEye · 04/09/2016 16:52

Another one dreading how much effort it's going to take at home to counteract pressure from school. Our overworking kids could do with being excused from assemblies where the underworkers are being harangued by teachers (only half joking).

Fleurdelise · 05/09/2016 07:59

I have DS who is starting year 11 tomorrow, I am dreading it, he is predicted really good grades but he doesn't seem to understand they come with hard work. So I'll do what it takes to keep him engaged but I am already stressing about the amount of arguments I expect for the next months.

fessmess · 05/09/2016 08:08

My dd was in year 11 last year. She's extremely headstrong and will not be cajoled into anything. Also, very able but lazy. We spent the year facilitating good study practice (like no wifi after 10pm to get good night's sleep) and asking her what she'd done. However, we did not push or punish for a lack of studying. She wanted to go to a particular college and she needed to work to get grades, we just reiterated she wouldn't go if she didn't work. SHe had major problems, starting October, got in with wrong crowd etc. Nearly got expelled, smoking weed and being extremely rude to teachers.

School were amazing, I nearly broke myself pushing her to actually attend school(went from 100% attendance to 60&). Did NO work or revising. Failed the lot. Now off to local crappy college to do level 2 course and maths and English resits. NOW she understands and NOW she has learned the lesson.

I think if you push and cajole and threaten etc to get them to pass GCSEs then the wheels may come off in year 12 when they HAVE to be more self-motivated. For my daughter I hope this is the beginning of a new start and so far so good.

dingit · 05/09/2016 08:21

I have an over worker stress head going in to yr13. My can't be arsed going in to yr11. I'm not sure which is worse. Shoot me now Confused

OldBeanbagz · 05/09/2016 08:31

I'm hoping that DD will now step up a gear (starting Y10) so that next year won't seem so bad. She has the opportunity to go on a long haul trip next Christmas so i need her to prove that she can knuckle down and get revision done when the time comes.

LittleHoHum · 05/09/2016 10:48

Oh joy. My dc number 4 is going into year 11 too. Dc3 is going into year 13. GCSE's and A levels all in the same year again. Sad

Every child is stressful in a different way - my dd1 (disorganised), dd2 (over worker), dd3 (secretive worker). Only so much you can do.

AtiaoftheJulii · 05/09/2016 12:25

I'd been wondering about starting a Y11 support thread - this could be it, if people want, or do you think starting another with a more 'supportive' title would get more people reading it?

I've had two go through y11 already, one lazy, one overworker. Now ds is about to start. The last few months have been quite tough for him, struggling with low mood. Attendance at school had dropped but school were being incredibly helpful and supportive. He has a new form tutor this year so I'm hoping he's just as good in that way.

Y11, as Second said above, is just relentless. DS is already not looking forward to the amount of controlled assessments and practicals still to be done. And then the exam period itself is a horrible slog.

Here's to a relaxed and positive start this week. (Dd2 came home in tears her first two days of y11 because every teacher gave them the "this year is really important, you'll have to work really hard" lecture - kids like her didn't need it, the ones that might have needed it don't listen!)

LittleHoHum · 05/09/2016 12:31

My 'over worker' dd used to do that if the teachers gave a the class a 'work harder' talk. She already worked but would go into complete hyper drive whereas the ones who the talks were aimed at just shrugged and carried on as usual. Grin

Good idea for a general year 11 thread.

Ragwort · 05/09/2016 12:50

The ones who the talks were aimed at just shrugged and carried on as usual.

I've got one of those Y11s Grin - don't think he's ever felt pressurised in his life, school is just one big holiday camp; he scrapes through his grades, puts on the charm when he needs to ................. he is clearly capable, but just not interested. Dreading the results next year. Anyone found anything that works to motivate uninterested teenagers?

bigTillyMint · 05/09/2016 14:37

Another one here with a stress-head going into Y13 (wasn't overworking in Y12 thoughHmm) and a sport-head going into Y11. He's not completely uninterested, just finds academia a bit long and would much rather be kicking a ball round all day!

Mummydummy · 05/09/2016 18:21

Yr 11 is fine. My DS is just starting and I have no fears about it whatsover. Not sure what the fuss is about - my DD just did her GCSE's and is starting 6th form at her chosen school. I'd just recommend not getting stressed yourself!

LittleHoHum · 05/09/2016 18:40

I think it depends on your child. Your dd might have been one of the concientious ones.

Not everyone is so lucky. Lots of things can derail teenagers and then year 11 can be stressful. I'm hoping ds doesn't discover girls. Grin

Good luck Ragwort. There isn't much you can do if they won't listen.

CiderwithBuda · 05/09/2016 19:04

I have an unmotivated DS too. Everything is 'boring' or 'pointless'. And we major issues last term with daily migraines which led to him missing 6 weeks of school. He did a half GCSE in RS with a migraine and got a C. Had lots of catch up work to do over the summer and he dropped some of it in to school today - they go back on Thursday. Bumped into one of the maths teachers who commanded him on his dedication! If he only knew th cajoling that has gone on!

Yes please to a support thread!

AtiaoftheJulii · 05/09/2016 19:05

Several of us who have replied on this thread also have older children as well mummy. My main fear is that I'm starting a new job which will mean me leaving the house before ds and I'm worried that his already low attendance will deteriorate further. Saying "it's fine" as if that's true for everyone isn't exactly helpful! It can be fine, it can be shit. It's mostly in between.

FantasyAndHope · 05/09/2016 19:14

mummy
Every child is different and every child is different. Some sail through fine some don't but at this point it is the first time many have sat public exams with the exception of some taken in year10. But year11 has highs and lows be it a bad mock result or a sixth form offer declined and it is definitely a time where parents and student need every inch of advice and support even thoughts who sail through year11. My DD sailed through barring one blip of a bad result.

dingit · 05/09/2016 19:23

Even with a 'worker' all is not plain sailing. In the first term of year 11, Dd was badly bullied, and it was a very stressful time.Sad

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