Year 11 - how awful is it? Experiences please

[BigSandyBalls2015]

I have two DCs starting year 11 next week and I'm kind of dreading it.

One of them is self motivated and just gets on with stuff, the other not so. I will need to bribe, beg, cajole, threaten, confiscate. I've accepted that I will need to do this to get her through her GCSEs, but if by some miracle she does get the fab grades she's capable of then I'm not doing any of that for A level.

[MyballsareSandy2015]

One of mine went school shoe shopping with a friend yesterday, fully aware of the strict plain black rules and came back with black loafers with a gold rim and buckle. Idiot.

[exampanic]

Ds decided to stop gaming as soon as school started. On day 1 he already decided not to bother stopping grrrrr

[BigSandyBalls2015]

Forgot to check back on this, lovely to see more replies. I agree it def depends on the child.

[minesawine]

I would love a year 11 support thread. I had already written about how worried I am for my DS in a previous thread.

He just got a B for science when he was predicted an A* as he didn't do any revision and I think that shocked him a bit, he said and I quote "I am never going to get a B again and I am going to work really hard in Year11" then he buried his head back in the PlayStation.

I defo NEED a support thread

[Laniakea]

Dd1 is going into year 11 (tomorrow!). She's quite excited about it, I'm expecting it not to be plain sailing. She's motivated on the surface but has a big splash of bravado & her plans don't always (often) become realised. She never quite manages to do her best - frustrating.

The last term of year 10 was a bit crap - masses of cover teachers & general school disorganisation. I really want her to get off to a good start this term to reduce stress next summer. Mocks are in December.

[justaweeone]

Year 11 was fine
Year 12 worse
Year 13 awful
University place through clearing but she got there in the end
I had a very motivated Dd in year 11, who knows what it will be like with laid back Ds13

[dingit]

Even with a 'worker' all is not plain sailing. In the first term of year 11, Dd was badly bullied, and it was a very stressful time.

[FantasyAndHope]

mummy
Every child is different and every child is different. Some sail through fine some don't but at this point it is the first time many have sat public exams with the exception of some taken in year10. But year11 has highs and lows be it a bad mock result or a sixth form offer declined and it is definitely a time where parents and student need every inch of advice and support even thoughts who sail through year11. My DD sailed through barring one blip of a bad result.

[AtiaoftheJulii]

Several of us who have replied on this thread also have older children as well mummy. My main fear is that I'm starting a new job which will mean me leaving the house before ds and I'm worried that his already low attendance will deteriorate further. Saying "it's fine" as if that's true for everyone isn't exactly helpful! It can be fine, it can be shit. It's mostly in between.

[CiderwithBuda]

I have an unmotivated DS too. Everything is 'boring' or 'pointless'. And we major issues last term with daily migraines which led to him missing 6 weeks of school. He did a half GCSE in RS with a migraine and got a C. Had lots of catch up work to do over the summer and he dropped some of it in to school today - they go back on Thursday. Bumped into one of the maths teachers who commanded him on his dedication! If he only knew th cajoling that has gone on!

Yes please to a support thread!

[LittleHoHum]

I think it depends on your child. Your dd might have been one of the concientious ones.

Not everyone is so lucky. Lots of things can derail teenagers and then year 11 can be stressful. I'm hoping ds doesn't discover girls.

Good luck Ragwort. There isn't much you can do if they won't listen.

[Mummydummy]

Yr 11 is fine. My DS is just starting and I have no fears about it whatsover. Not sure what the fuss is about - my DD just did her GCSE's and is starting 6th form at her chosen school. I'd just recommend not getting stressed yourself!

[bigTillyMint]

Another one here with a stress-head going into Y13 (wasn't overworking in Y12 though) and a sport-head going into Y11. He's not completely uninterested, just finds academia a bit long and would much rather be kicking a ball round all day!

[Ragwort]

The ones who the talks were aimed at just shrugged and carried on as usual.

I've got one of those Y11s - don't think he's ever felt pressurised in his life, school is just one big holiday camp; he scrapes through his grades, puts on the charm when he needs to ................. he is clearly capable, but just not interested. Dreading the results next year. Anyone found anything that works to motivate uninterested teenagers?

[LittleHoHum]

My 'over worker' dd used to do that if the teachers gave a the class a 'work harder' talk. She already worked but would go into complete hyper drive whereas the ones who the talks were aimed at just shrugged and carried on as usual.

Good idea for a general year 11 thread.

[AtiaoftheJulii]

I'd been wondering about starting a Y11 support thread - this could be it, if people want, or do you think starting another with a more 'supportive' title would get more people reading it?

I've had two go through y11 already, one lazy, one overworker. Now ds is about to start. The last few months have been quite tough for him, struggling with low mood. Attendance at school had dropped but school were being incredibly helpful and supportive. He has a new form tutor this year so I'm hoping he's just as good in that way.

Y11, as Second said above, is just relentless. DS is already not looking forward to the amount of controlled assessments and practicals still to be done. And then the exam period itself is a horrible slog.

Here's to a relaxed and positive start this week. (Dd2 came home in tears her first two days of y11 because every teacher gave them the "this year is really important, you'll have to work really hard" lecture - kids like her didn't need it, the ones that might have needed it don't listen!)

[LittleHoHum]

Oh joy. My dc number 4 is going into year 11 too. Dc3 is going into year 13. GCSE's and A levels all in the same year again.

Every child is stressful in a different way - my dd1 (disorganised), dd2 (over worker), dd3 (secretive worker). Only so much you can do.

[OldBeanbagz]

I'm hoping that DD will now step up a gear (starting Y10) so that next year won't seem so bad. She has the opportunity to go on a long haul trip next Christmas so i need her to prove that she can knuckle down and get revision done when the time comes.

[dingit]

I have an over worker stress head going in to yr13. My can't be arsed going in to yr11. I'm not sure which is worse. Shoot me now

[fessmess]

My dd was in year 11 last year. She's extremely headstrong and will not be cajoled into anything. Also, very able but lazy. We spent the year facilitating good study practice (like no wifi after 10pm to get good night's sleep) and asking her what she'd done. However, we did not push or punish for a lack of studying. She wanted to go to a particular college and she needed to work to get grades, we just reiterated she wouldn't go if she didn't work. SHe had major problems, starting October, got in with wrong crowd etc. Nearly got expelled, smoking weed and being extremely rude to teachers.

School were amazing, I nearly broke myself pushing her to actually attend school(went from 100% attendance to 60&). Did NO work or revising. Failed the lot. Now off to local crappy college to do level 2 course and maths and English resits. NOW she understands and NOW she has learned the lesson.

I think if you push and cajole and threaten etc to get them to pass GCSEs then the wheels may come off in year 12 when they HAVE to be more self-motivated. For my daughter I hope this is the beginning of a new start and so far so good.

[Fleurdelise]

I have DS who is starting year 11 tomorrow, I am dreading it, he is predicted really good grades but he doesn't seem to understand they come with hard work. So I'll do what it takes to keep him engaged but I am already stressing about the amount of arguments I expect for the next months.

[RalphSteadmansEye]

Another one dreading how much effort it's going to take at home to counteract pressure from school. Our overworking kids could do with being excused from assemblies where the underworkers are being harangued by teachers (only half joking).

[FantasyAndHope]

queen
Pessure is a big thing in DDs case it was the teachers mainly to push the ones who won't work. Just be prepared to stop her as she can burn herself out

[QueenofQuirkiness]

My eldest DD is an over-worker going into year 11. I know she will try her best, but I can't help worrying that she's going to put too much pressure on herself and burn out

[LIZS]

Dd is a combination of your 2 - desperate to do well, good all-rounder but difficult to get to actually write to deadlines and stresses if chivvied. English coursework draft due in a week and barely started. MFL assessments early October. Ds just got on with it but fear she will be more problematic. Ds has picked a good year to start uni and avoid it! Things won't get any easier when we need to decide A level options either. Don't envy you having 2 at once.