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SAHP

A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

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Original poster

When people ask what you do for work

50 replies

WalkingBlind · 15/05/2016 23:51

Do you just say, I'm a SAHP? I'm not ashamed of it at all but somehow people kind of go "oh"

I get a bit flustered and just go "Oh I don't, I'm at home with the kids, maybe when they're older". It's a bit of bullshit to get them off my case really as I don't need to go back to work and much prefer being with the children. I've worked in the past as various things and have never found a profession I love or feel comfortable with so I don't have a burning desire to do anything specifically

OP posts:

Janefromdowntheroad · 15/05/2016 23:54

Smile, breezily say "I have the children" and move on

It doesn't bother me unless they then follow it up with :oh well yes of course that's work in itself. Like I need them to make me feel better or validate my decision.

Time4adrink · 15/05/2016 23:55

Try 'I'm not working at the moment'. I find it tends to stop questions - and is true.

NickyEds · 17/05/2016 14:54

I just say that I'm not working I'm at home with the kids. Men tend to go "oh, ok", women either say they'd love to SAH and tell me how lucky I am or say that they'd hate to SAH and tell me I must be mad!

SliceOfLime · 17/05/2016 15:02

I say "I look after my children". A policeman filling in a form once asked whet my job was. I replied "mother". Later as he was leaving I saw he'd written "housewife" - I was furious! I hate that word!

Original poster

WalkingBlind · 17/05/2016 15:22

Urgh I despise 'housewife', to me that sounds like "had a meal waiting for the husband when he gets home from work". I also get called a 'homemaker' which isn't as offensive (for a start I'm not a wife )

OP posts:

MissPunnyMany · 18/05/2016 20:29

I always use the 'I'm not working right now' line too. I also point out it would be impossible and not worth my while as I have two preschoolers rather than one so double the cost of childcare.

FoxSticks · 18/05/2016 20:31

I hate being asked this, the bank put me down as unemployed - that pissed me off.

oldlaundbooth · 18/05/2016 20:33

And I get the impression really do think you are sat on your arse watching Jeremy Kyle.

Its a full time job.

In fact, scrap that.

Its 24/7.

SpaceKablooie · 18/05/2016 20:41

I think people might just say Oh sometimes because you haven't given them an easy route into a follow up question. If you'd said that you were a pollution analyst or something, they might have said Oh, that's interesting - how did you get into doing that?

stilllovingmysleep · 18/05/2016 20:43

I appreciate there may be many appropriate ways to answer this. But 'I'm a mother'? (As a full time job)?

NickyEds · 18/05/2016 21:33

I would never describe my job as "mother"! If asked specifically what my job is (as in an official capacity) I say I don't work. I say I'm at home with the kids so as to distinguish myself from someone actively trying to look for work. I'm not that arsed about being called housewife (even though I'm not a wife either!)or homemaker. I think "homemaker"was what the most fitting catagory on dd's birth certificate.

stilllovingmysleep · 18/05/2016 22:13

How about SAHM?

stilllovingmysleep · 18/05/2016 22:14

Straightforward and to the point.
Homemaker: hhhmmm, no, because similarly (as with the term 'mother') we all do it, we are all homemakers.

Flumpnugget · 18/05/2016 22:17

I had huge awkwardness around this initially; especially getting overlooked in conversations in social groups as if I wouldn't have a clue- now I'm bloody proud of what I do and couldn't give two hoots what people think. It's their loss and ignorance. I'm great

RockMeMomma · 18/05/2016 22:50

I think SAHP covers it. You'll get some ignorant comments about being a lady/man of leisure I just presume these people's lives must be miserable, if they have to make sly digs at other people's life choices.

MadamDeathstare · 18/05/2016 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 18/05/2016 23:02

Depends why they're asking. If they're trying to make conversation and say "what do you do" then I'll reply with something specific like "This week I've been painting the living room / training the dog / binge-watching GoT ".

If it is an official thing wanting my occupation I put Carer.

TellMeDani · 19/05/2016 10:45

On the very very rare occasion that I am asked then I say that I'm a housewife, partly to be a bit contentious but also because it's a very quick and simple explanation.

Full time mother/homemaker doesn't cut it (as already said up-thread) and I'm not unemployed because that would suggest that I am actively seeking paid work and I'm not.

SpaceKablooie · 19/05/2016 12:38

I'd say that I was a SAHP if I was one.

I think that Mother / full time Mum / Homemaker / Housewife are going to annoy some people!

SliceOfLime · 19/05/2016 22:01

I can't believe anyone actually says the words "I'm a stay-at-home-mum" - it's such an odd phrase albeit a useful shorthand acronym on here. I really don't like it and wouldn't use it in conversation , I imagine a poor grey faced creature looking forlornly through the window, never allowed out

The answer "mother" was for the specific question on a form "what is your job" with a very small space to answer it, so I gave what I thought was the most concise explanation. I look after my kids full time, I'm their mother, how else to describe it in one word? If someone asked me "what do you do?" or "where do you work?" in conversation I'd say "I look after my kids". Housewife makes me think of a woman in a pinny polishing things, cooking dinner for her husband, bringing him his pipe and slippers...

Janefromuptheshops · 19/05/2016 22:04

I just say 'I don't need to work at the moment'

then leave 'em hanging wondering why

SpaceKablooie · 19/05/2016 22:24

Jane, but maybe whoever you're talking to doesn't need to either, but chooses to.

I stand by What do you do? just being a conversation starter.

TellMeDani · 20/05/2016 10:39

Housewife makes me think of a woman in a pinny polishing things, cooking dinner for her husband, bringing him his pipe and slippers... Me too! which is partly why I say it as I look a world away from someone who would wear a pinny and polish things!

'I'm not working at the moment' doesn't feel right either as I seem to work non stop and really hard for large chunks of the week.

Rather harshly I'm not keen on 'what do you do' as a conversation starter, I think there are far more polite and interesting questions to ask if you'd like to get to know somebody...in the past I've seen it used as a euphemism for how much are you worth/do you earn more than I do.

SpaceKablooie · 20/05/2016 11:37

TellMe, I do see your point - What do you do? is an easy way for someone to get an idea of where they (quite possibly incorrectly!) think that someone else sits on a socioeconomic scale (or on whatever scale they're interested in). I think SAHP is quite good actually - it's factually correct, and it doesn't give away any socioeconomic information - you could be very poor or very rich, or somewhere in the middle.

Philoslothy · 20/05/2016 11:39

I say that I am a lady of leisure

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