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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Pictures on his camera

75 replies

Thomcat · 05/07/2005 08:48

He got home from Ibiza last night. He left Friday night for a jolly with the boys.

Our camera was on kitchen table this mornig so I had a flick, as you do.

How many pics of girls?!

One of whom was leaning over him while he lay on the floor and in the next pic she's walking on his back. Lovely.

Another pic of some topless girl in the sea, actually there were 3 or 4 of her. Great.

Nothing really bad, but not what I wanted to see. Calmed down a bit, trying to reign in those pregnancy hormones, but have to say I'm not exactly happy.

Really think that if that's what "boys" weekends to Ibiza about then that was the last one.

How would he have liked to see the me with a load of blokes and pics of me with random men in bars, and on the beach etc? Maybe I'll have to find out.

Hmmm, the bubble in my stomach says 'not happy'.

He's gone to work now and I'm off in a mo so time for you to share your thoughts if you like before I see him tonight.

How would you feel?

OP posts:

moondog · 05/07/2005 11:43

Even more appalled at booking of the holiday and bringing up the matter after the nuchal (My sister's dh brought out a copy of Auto Trader and began flicking through it while they were waiting for the very same doctor to come and discuss the results of a very worrying nuchal scan with them.
Honestly,blokes. Shit for brains on occasion.)

No excuse but was the holiday and thoughtless behaviour a result of the worrying pregnancy d'you think???

Original poster

Thomcat · 05/07/2005 12:15

It wasn't a reult of, the boys were going away anyway,but yes the good news defo made him jump on the bandwagon, and it's the reason I let the whole thing go, as in the way he handled it all.

OP posts:

emmatmg · 05/07/2005 16:02

Just read the latest post for you TC.

I'd hit the bloody roof over the whole thing now. I wouldn't be able to say anything because I'd be screaming banchee from the moment he walked though the door.

It fact I'd probably have a little fire going with his passport being the fuel jsut as he walked though the door.

I'm obviously not a good example......but feel free to nick this idea if you so wish

Enid · 05/07/2005 16:03

I'd be horrified and I would go absoutely mental x E

charliecat · 05/07/2005 16:39

Id go ape shit.

charleepeters · 05/07/2005 17:23

i would go mad

beetroot · 05/07/2005 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Blu · 05/07/2005 17:43

Oooh, TC, they do make it hard work, don't they?

What an idiot. Make your feelings clear, and if he has a single working brain cell left, you will have one very contrite and quite-rightly-over-considerate-DP on your hands for the next few months.

He MIGHT be working hard to remind himself that he is still a wild and cazy guy even though his age and number of babies is growing by the minute.

PeachyClair · 05/07/2005 18:44

I asked dh for a male perspective on this.

He said it showed a complete lack of common sense on your dh's behalf because he will have known he was going to get it. And whilst it was innocent, he should be more thoughtful of your feelings.

And he said he'd expect a smack (figuratively!) if he did it to me.

AnnaInManchester · 05/07/2005 19:52

is he home yet thomcat?

tiredemma · 06/07/2005 08:42

Oh Thomcat, what an idiotic thing to do. The very fact that he left the pictures on his phone, where they could easily be found by you makes me think that maybe he didnt 'do' anything with this girl but it's extremley insensitive towards you especially at a time when you are pregnant and probably not feeling your best.

If it was my DP i would be outraged as there would always be a niggle at the back of my mind incase anything had happened, plus the fact that if i went away with my mates and had photos of other blokes draped around me, id be out on the street before my feet could touch the ground.

My Dp is off to ibiza with his mates for 5 nights next week, he is 30 now and tbh I think getting a little bit too old for this but he really wanted to go.

I really do doubt that your DP did anything more than what you saw in the picture, but that in itself shows incredible stupidity on his behalf and a total lack of respect for your feelings.

hope your feeling ok today x

handlemecarefully · 06/07/2005 08:54

How did you get on Thomcat?

I hope that he was very contrite.

beetroot · 06/07/2005 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Fimbo · 06/07/2005 13:09

TC - are you ok?

emmatmg · 06/07/2005 20:26

TC?

Fimbo · 06/07/2005 20:34

Bump

Original poster

Thomcat · 06/07/2005 20:43

hi, sorry, I'm here!
Well at first he said ' they're just silly, harmless holiday pics' and couldn't really understand what I was on about. When I explained more about how it made me feel he said 'ohh, sorry babes, I really didn't mean for you to be upset, I really didn't think, they're just silly pics, one of the boys had all his work mates out there and that's who the girls were and the topless one wasn't even taken by me, but sorry you were upset, I really haven't done anything wrong but I am sorry you were upset, i love you blah de blah............'.

so I excepted that, he made dinner, (which is what he's doing again now), and then we had lots of cuddles and then, ahem... an early night
I made my point, asked him to think how he'd feel and so on and so on and he took it all on board and apologised, told me he loved me and has been a lovley boy all round really. Can't really do or say anything else.

Thanks girls, TC xx

OP posts:

Lonelymum · 06/07/2005 20:44

Delete the pictures?

Fimbo · 06/07/2005 20:45

Glad you are back on track TC.

emmatmg · 06/07/2005 20:47

Glad it's all sorted, TC.

lou33 · 06/07/2005 20:59

take some lovely pics of you on the camera and send them to him

marthamoo · 06/07/2005 21:06

Well I missed all this and am glad it's sorted - but I think you should go to a male strip club and have some pics taken with you draped over a few well-oiled, naked hunks and leave them lying around. Just in the name of equality, you understand

Original poster

Thomcat · 06/07/2005 21:08

Revenge is a dish best served cold
And yes all offending pics have been deleted.

OP posts:

lou33 · 06/07/2005 21:24

tc, if you go to moo's strip club (she knows loads), can i take the pics for you?

marthamoo · 06/07/2005 21:27

Yes, we will have a MN night out!

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