Swinging - not such a good move after all......

[nikki1978]

You are all welcome to tell me you told me so!

I am so annoyed at myself I can't even think straight.

I'm sure some of you will remember the thread I started just over a month ago about swinging. My husband and I had been involved in a threesome and enjoyed it so had decided to try swinging. I was very much of the mindset you only live once so just went for it.

And I have now got gonorrhea.

Can't bloody believe it.

We were very careful to use contraception but neither of us thought to use it for oral sex. My husband has it too and mine managed to develop into full blown pelvic inflammatory disease. The whole experience has been incredibly painful and humiliating (particularly when my doctor - who has been my doctor since I was young - gave me the results).

Anyway looks like you get what you deserve. Just wanted to post this to remind people how important safe sex is!

ooh it all sounds so.... glamorous?

controlfreaky you are the definition of laconic.

is that a compliment... or not.... ?

yes, it's a compliment .

wow - things they never mention on the L Word

Can you get it from giving oral sex or just from receiving?

This isn't on topic but just wanted to address a comment made by whomoved

'Herpes is a virus. It's only transmittable while there are sores I think (it's been bloody ages since I did this stuff sorry!) And the herpes simplex virus which causes cold sores is not the same as genital herpes I don't think.'

I learned the hard way- herpes can be transmitted when there are no sores present! And the one that mainly causes coldsores (HSV1) is different from the usual genital herpes (HSV2) but the two can interchange- ie one can get genital HSV1 by receiving oral sex from anyone who has ever had a coldsore, even if they do not have one at present. Damned STIs

And to the OP- I hope you feel well soon

i think you can also get genital herpes (HSV2) even if they aren't present at the moment iyswim. Isn't that the one that you can have, be tested clear for and then it can come back on it's own even if you haven't had unprotected sex?

Yes you're right nappyaddict, you can get either even with a condom.

You can only get it with a condom though if it's a dormant thing can't you? I didn't think you could newly acquire it whilst using one.

Maybe I should have googled this first, but I was/am pretty sure that all the advice on STDs says that you can only get herpes if the person has a cold sore, or active genital herpes with oozing blisters.

A huge percentage of the population is affected by herpes simplex virus but most of us are immune to it- and don't get cold sores. It lies dormant.

I don't think you can get herpes if the person's virus is dormant.

It also doesn't make sense that you can catch it when using a condom, as it would have to burst/have holes in- unless their affected bits are not inside the condom!

OKAY- should have googled first- but on this basis it means that anyone can catch it from anyone! How on earth would you know who might be carrying it, if 90% of us are infected ( but dormant.)

""How is genital herpes infection caught?

Genital herpes is caused by the herpes simplex virus. This virus is well known to us as the same virus that causes cold sores. Approximately 90% of the adult population carry this virus and once infected the virus remains dormant within the individual for life. Only about 10-15% of these people ever have evidence of virus activity and this is seen as recurrent cold sores. The same herpes virus or one very similar may infect the genital area. The virus may be transferred from mouth to genital area by hand transfer or may be transferred during sexual activity. Often the person transferring the virus may not be aware that they are carrying it and transmission may take place from one person to another, even when there are no skin lesions.""

I remember being told at school that you can coldsores on your gentials and genital herpes on your mouth and all this can be caught even if the virus isn't active at the moment. I think you can only catch it when using a condom if the virus is active, but sometimes even when the virus is active there are no signs or symptoms to show this.