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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Swinging - not such a good move after all......

63 replies

nikki1978 · 22/06/2009 16:53

You are all welcome to tell me you told me so!

I am so annoyed at myself I can't even think straight.

I'm sure some of you will remember the thread I started just over a month ago about swinging. My husband and I had been involved in a threesome and enjoyed it so had decided to try swinging. I was very much of the mindset you only live once so just went for it.

And I have now got gonorrhea.

Can't bloody believe it.

We were very careful to use contraception but neither of us thought to use it for oral sex. My husband has it too and mine managed to develop into full blown pelvic inflammatory disease. The whole experience has been incredibly painful and humiliating (particularly when my doctor - who has been my doctor since I was young - gave me the results).

Anyway looks like you get what you deserve. Just wanted to post this to remind people how important safe sex is!

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 22/06/2009 22:17

so sorry nikki, I don't expect you are hearing anything you wanted to hear.....

whomovedmychocolate · 22/06/2009 22:21

It's a bacterial infection Expat - once you have it it will go everywhere within days. I'm a bit about the whole oral sex transmission thing though. But perhaps the OP did more than just oral or she had oral and thinks that's where she was infected but was actually infected further south with someone else?

Herpes is a virus. It's only transmittable while there are sores I think (it's been bloody ages since I did this stuff sorry!) And the herpes simplex virus which causes cold sores is not the same as genital herpes I don't think.

whomovedmychocolate · 22/06/2009 22:23

Also Nikki - sorry to be a pain here but you must get properly treated and then retested because you can develop a chronic form of arthritis from this if even a little bit of the infection remains.

If it makes you feel any better you have caught one of the most popular STIs in the country so you needn't feel you are the only one

Original poster

nikki1978 · 22/06/2009 22:24

whomovedmychocolate - sorry I don't understand why you think he has been cheating.....

I got the discharge 3 weeks after the swinging incident (which was a week after the threesome). It was the day my period finished which is when PID from gonorrhea apparently tends to rear its ugly head. I went to the docs two days later and he took some swabs. Later that day DH said he had pain on urinating and a green discharge from his penis. So I showed symptoms first.....

Lets take aside my other post about the woman I was concerned about. Someone here said 'the woman he was involved with' which was not the case at all.....

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Original poster

nikki1978 · 22/06/2009 22:26

expat I am not saying I had it in my throat I am saying a girl with it in her throat went down on me or DH then we passed it to each other....

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Original poster

nikki1978 · 22/06/2009 22:27

I am being properly treated with antibiotics and DH said we need to stay away from each other until we have finished the pills and been retested. He is as disgusted as me.

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whomovedmychocolate · 22/06/2009 22:27

Didn't see the post about the other woman so am now equally confused.

Am I to understand that your DH had not swung before this event and (sorry to be indelicate), the number three party was another bloke?

expatinscotland · 22/06/2009 22:28

I must admit I have very little in the way of modesty or inhibitions, but after reading this thread, I'll never be embarrassed to see my GP about anything, because barring a catastrophe, it won't be for anything like this.

Original poster

nikki1978 · 22/06/2009 22:29

DH and I had a threesome at the start of May then went to a swinging party the next weekend. The third person in the threesome was a female.

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expatinscotland · 22/06/2009 22:32

oh, okay, i see, nikki! i thought the threesome you had was with another bloke and then you and your partner did the swinging and you contracted the gonorrhea there!

sorry for the confusion.

still, if you had unprotected oral sex, please make sure you're screened well.

whomovedmychocolate · 22/06/2009 22:32

Okay....so you don't know quite when you picked up this infection? It is possible to get it from a woman. But less likely. Or you poor thing, you must be mortified. I thought swingers had a moral code of sorts about these things - I guess not.

whomovedmychocolate · 22/06/2009 22:35

I'm not sure I want to know the answer to this, but have ahem all points of entry been swabbed by your doc Nikki? I only ask because people often get given penicillin to treat it and it doesn't work for anal infections because there is something in the rectum which kills penicillin.

whomovedmychocolate · 22/06/2009 22:35

expatinscotland · 22/06/2009 22:41

Oh, no! I hope it wasn't from a thread like this, whomoved .

ilovemydogandmrobama · 22/06/2009 22:43

Yeah expat, you were quoted as wondering what time Biggest Penis was on TV

expatinscotland · 22/06/2009 22:45

i cringe to imagine which one of solidgold's posts they caught .

Original poster

nikki1978 · 22/06/2009 22:57

I have been given Ciprofloxacin and Metronidazole - both taken twice a day for two weeks..... he did not swab anything else.... eek should I go back?

OP posts:

SolidGoldBrass · 22/06/2009 23:07

Poor you, what rotten luck. And it is rotten luck, not karma, not your fault - I have been on the swinging scene for about 20 years and have never caught any kind of STI.And while I always use condoms i have never used a dental dam.

I think, from whomoved's post, you only need to go back and get another check up if you had any bum fun (and obviously you don't need to tell us whether that applies or not).

ilovemydogandmrobama · 22/06/2009 23:09

So, if you use a dental dam, you won't get a STI, um, if you don't swallow?

expatinscotland · 22/06/2009 23:11

IIRC, dental dams are for performing oral sex on a female, ilove. So as to avoid contact with bodily secretions of that sort.

But plenty of more knowledgeable folks are on this thread to correct me if I'm wrong.

mrsboogie · 22/06/2009 23:23

doesn't sound like swallowing was an issue here.

Must say I've learned something new tonight - never knew STI's were transmitted from the throat. Also, apparently, some can be transmitted via breastfeeding...

expatinscotland · 22/06/2009 23:25

i knew about gonorrhea in the throat, but the only people i knew who had it that way were homosexual men who'd engaged in practices like bath houses and glory holes.

salvadory · 22/06/2009 23:31

just to make you feel better Nikki it may be that you picked up another similar bacteria to gonhorrhoea that is very common in the throat (the girl that went down on you or your hubby could have been carryin it instead of gonhorrhoea).
It's called neisseria meningitidis (sp)and can lead to symptoms similar to gonhorrhoea but it's not the same.
It's worth checking the lab results (if your doctor can) as it's often confused with gonhorrhoea and if the doc thinks it's gonorrhoea they don't usually bother to do futher tests.
This is carried in the throats of a lot of people and only causes problems in situations like yours (mean oral sex not swinging).
ps it is possible to give someone genital herpes if performing oral sex with a cold sore (even though the 2 viruses are different the oral one causes similar sores on the genitals if passed on).
Also pharyngeal (throat) gonorrhoea is fairly common as a result of unprotected oral sex. here endeth the lecture, hope oyu feel better soon

salvadory · 22/06/2009 23:32

but what do i know as I can't even spell gonorrhoea!! oops

Original poster

nikki1978 · 23/06/2009 07:38

Thanks everyone. The girl who we had our threesome with had tonsilitus (sp?) a couple of weeks after we had our experience with her (we still chat every now and then on MSN). She said it is a recurring problem with her and when we were looking up gonorrhea it said that was a throat symptom so it is possible this all stems from her. She is getting checked out.

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