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Original poster

How soon did you have sex after having a baby?

40 replies

fuzzybunny · 14/05/2009 11:07

I have a 5 week old DD and am going on a date with my DH tonight. We aren't leaving the house, he is cooking me a meal and then the pressure is on...

Don't get me wrong I really want to start up our physical relationship again, we've always had a very active sex life. I am a little bit nervous about it. I am worried it will be painful and put both of us off again for a while. Or what if it's not as good as before? What if I am big and baggy down there now? (Sorry TMI)

How soon after did anyone start having sex again? Was it uncomfortable? Physically or emotionally (a baby has come out of there!)?

OP posts:
stitchtime · 14/05/2009 11:13

about sixish weeks i think but with dc3 it was more like a year. we were both terrified of getting pregnant again/

MinnieMummy · 14/05/2009 11:27

9 wks both DCs, DS (first one) was forceps and episiotomy and it was paaaaainful (sorry to scare you) first time but totally fine second time (quite a few weeks later unsurprisingly!!)

LUBE LUBE LUBE and you'll be fine... and realistically your DD will probably wake up and cry at a crucial moment anyway. They tend to do that!!

oh and CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS
have fun!

HaventSleptForAYear · 14/05/2009 11:30

About 3 weeks with DS1.

Can't remember with DS2, possibly about a month?

I thought you were supposed to "do it" before you went back for your 6 week check to make sure everything was ok! (not the only reason though

Castiel · 14/05/2009 11:30

Only do it if you want to.

Not everybody's swinging from the chandeliers with nipple tassles a go go 6 weeks post partum.

I waited 9 months and even then I only used my second best nipple tassles. Waited another 9 months to get the glittery ones out.

Castiel · 14/05/2009 11:31

'supposed to do it before your 6 week check'

That'll be a new dad putting that rumour about then.

Castiel · 14/05/2009 11:33

At 6 weeks post partum I was still bleeding like buggery. Now there's an interesting image. Honestly with an extensive episiotomy and a cs wound, I wasn't up to any kind of activity, horizontal or otherwise.

PuppyMonkey · 14/05/2009 11:34

few large glasses of wine and you'll be fine! Not half as bad as you think it will be...

ForeverOptimistic · 14/05/2009 11:34

It was 5 months. Ds co-slept with us for the first 5 months and I was still wearing baggy trackpants so didn't feel remotely sexy. It didn't hurt just felt a little tight.

PhilysFogg · 14/05/2009 11:35

Lmao @ Castiel! We waited about 7ish weeks (after twins!) remember was very bloody painful though

mummybroccoli · 14/05/2009 11:37

MinnieMummy

That is so funny, made me nearly pee my pants!! I think I made him wait about 8/10 weeks, I wasn't interested as I had an episiotomy and the stitches had popped out almost the same day they were put in so i was in pain for a bit longer than perhaps I should have been lol.

In the end though, no matter how long you wait, there is always gonna be nerves and tension around it until the deed is done! Just as MM says, take it easy, no swinging of the chandelier, lube, lube, lube and you'll be fine

Oh and I found a generous glass of vino also helped even if you are BF.

tonysoprano · 14/05/2009 11:37

4 months then 6 months.

Owlingate · 14/05/2009 11:41

3/4 weeks, it didn't hurt as much as I'd thought it would (had small tear). Would recommend breastpads and keeping the bra on . And lying down DP not put off at all by seeing me give birth good luck.

WorzselMummage · 14/05/2009 11:43

ds is 4 months and we've not done it yet.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 14/05/2009 11:50

6 weeks or so (after 3rd degree tear) was a wee bit uncomfortable but not painful. Lube!!!!!

ilovespinach · 14/05/2009 11:52

with ds1 (c-section)6 weeks
ds2 (natural with tear) 5 months

relax....with ds2 we did ''other things'' for the 5 months you could do that if you don't want to have penetration....

choppychopster · 14/05/2009 11:59

It was about 8/9 weeks after having DD that we first had full sex again. Would have liked to sooner, but had a forceps delivery with episiotomy and still felt a bit uncomfortable about penetration before that.

Oh, and I second Owlingate's suggestion about keeping your bra and breastpads on if you are breastfeeding. Leaking all over DH was a bit of a passion killer!

FrankMustard · 14/05/2009 12:00

I think it was about 2/3 wks after all mine,once the bleeding had stopped. I didn't have a problem, but I also was lucky and didn't have any stitches or complications other than little tears so aside from taking it easy and having KY handy, it wasn't as big a deal as I'd been expecting!
As far as doing it before the 6 wk check, one of the questions the doc will ask you at 6wk check is if you've had intercourse and if it's ok, so it's not a bad thing to get back into it before then so you know if it's ok or not...but it's very much a personal thing and dp/dh ought to be sensitive to this and not rush any new mum into it.

Original poster
fuzzybunny · 14/05/2009 19:08

Thanks for your comments guys.

Hubby is cooking dinner as I type. He is very supportive and not pushing me into it at all...I want to, just a little nervous.

I've got the wine and lube to hand!

Wish me luck

OP posts:
Monkeyandbooba · 14/05/2009 19:15

6 weeks both time, DD I had no stitches just grazes (ouch) but with DS I had had some stitches for minor tears. Second the bra thing, found...ahem... 'coming' made me leak

Also at feeling tight, found quite the opposite here...

dizietsma · 14/05/2009 19:16

4 months.

And I only had a 2nd degree tear, and I was terrified.

Take your time, he doesn't have rights to your body, it's a gift you share with him when you're ready

mummybroccoli · 14/05/2009 20:52

Dont forget the condoms!!!!

BitOfFun · 14/05/2009 20:57

Good luck- you'll be fine with wine and lube, and lots of good luvin'

ladylush · 14/05/2009 22:07

Exactly the same as MinnieMummy

Sazisi · 14/05/2009 22:11

I waited until after the 6 week check, but I think really you'd know by 5 weeks if anything was wrong and should just go for it

ladylush · 14/05/2009 22:14

It all felt very tight to me.