When your best friend and husband HATE each other

[CarmerKharma]

My best friend and DH have never got along and whenever they see each other they just start arguining. It's really pissing me off because each of them expect me to be 'on their side' but in truth, they're both as bad.

Last night friend came over with her DH and they'd been here for around an hour before my DH upset her (said something her smelling of alcohol). She locked herself in the bathroom and I went and asked her what was wrong and she said "Nothing, I'm just on toilet" so I left her to it. 5 minutes later DH had gone running upstairs and started banging on the bathroom door shouting "stop seeking attention before I bash this fucker down" so friend shouted "fuck off and leave me alone" so DH got a pen and pad and started pushing mean messages through the door

It ended with her husband going charging upstairs and throwing a chip at DH but admitting that my friend was having an 'off day'.

Now DH says they're not allowed here again and friend says I should have stood up for her. I'm always stuck in the middle.

I smell a long-tailed rodent

This sounds like its straight from the pages of Take A Break.

they are well 'at it'!

You think?

Last time I suggested to DH that he fancied her he stuck his fingers down his throat and pretended to throw up saying she was a freak and he hated her. I said "you seem to protest too much at the mere mention of it ... are you sure you mean it?" and he started going on about the only time he'd touch her is if he was strangling her.

So I suggested to my friend that as her and my DH 'hate' each other for no real reason, would it be unreasonable to assume they held a torch for each other and she gave me a look and said "No offense, but he's REALLY not my type".

It definately is odd though, I'm not denying that.

its not bloody daft.
It is incredibly, almost unbelieveably childish.

How can you possibly be with someone who behaves like that? I need admiration and respect in my relationships.
My 15 year old would not be so childish tbh.

Very odd.

"he stuck his fingers down his throat and pretended to throw up saying she was a freak and he hated her.."

seriously ?.
Is he older than 12?
Does he pull her pigtails too?

Your DH sounds like he has some sort of personality disorder - his behaviour is most bizarre!

they need to grow up.

your Dh does sound like a 5 year old to be honest, but at the same time your freidn should respect the fact that he is your husband and she is in his house.

I cannot stand a good freinds new BF. but for her sake i grin and bear him. the whole world knows i hate him, including her, but I would never ever do anything to make her feel as though we couldn't be in teh same room and act as adults.

Maybe they have had an affair in the past?

If you are not careful this will end up in the "classics thread".
I agree your DH sounds very childish and odd.

Is this the same husband who wrote on the floor in ketchup?

And dog poo on the ceiling

He fancies her. Lots.

There was a thread last week about the troll police overreacting and getting involved when they shouldn't.

I hate to be accused of being one of the "troll police", so someone do correct me if I'm wrong, but this is so far from the truth!

However I suppose so long as everyone wants to play along with it, it's not my business.

If this is real and you're all over 16 then I think the problem is they're shagging (each other)!

He is boning her all over the shop, I reckon. Hope this helps.

pmsl at thow a chip.

i thought it was a colloqualism - like thrw a fit.

but no....an ACTUAL chip?

dh would have knocked your dh's block off

this isn';t real what a crock

yeah he is doing her up the bum

Aye, at pace.

I am laughing out loud now

my dog is giving me strange looks....

I'm sorry but I have roflmao especially at mmj's post (don't know why mmj - just great comic timing)

Are you lot all English? NO ONE I know would dare be like this.

It may be crock but what this has made me think is wouldn't it be nice sometimes to just be able to openly have a go at those people you hate but sometimes have to hang out with and just freely fling insults at them.

God I would like to say
"I've never liked you, you are a selfish twat and I happen to know you have a pencil dick"
"Oh shut it you smug slapper I know you tried to pull my DP, OK it may have been 8 years ago but yes i do bear a grudge and btw you look like a squirrel."
"Oh lord above not you again, you are pissed-up bloated and boring, do you have ANY topics of conversation beyond computer games and oral sex, please go away"

aaaaahhh that's better
Obviously being English this could NEVER happen and if it did I'd be wracked with shame and guilt for about 16 years.

omg, the tears are running down my face now

snowleopard, that is classic