Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What if someone kissed your DP when he was on a night out?

37 replies

Kaedsmum · 08/08/2008 19:17

Like tried to get off with him? And he pushed her away. Say she was pretty and she'd had a thing for him before you got together... but he didn't have a thing for her.

Then when he came home he told you as he didn't want you hearing it from anyone else.

How would you feel? Would you wonder how he got into the situation? Would it bother you?

OP posts:
posieflump · 08/08/2008 19:18

I would be pissed off with her if I knew her.
It sounds like he behaved exactly as you'd want him to - ie pushed her away, didn't do anything etc
Do they have to go out togther though? Is it in a big group? Why don't you go next time?

AuntieMaggie · 08/08/2008 19:19

Yes it would bother me - I would wonder who the hell she thought she was trying it on with my DP!!!!

I would be glad he owned up but I would question how he got in that situation - but to be honest if there was anyting in it he probably woudn't have told you.

WallOfSilence · 08/08/2008 19:19

I'd be wondering how and why she was so close as to kiss him when he is saying he has no 'thing' for her.....

Hecate · 08/08/2008 19:20

I'd be pissed off with her, but pleased with him for pushing her away and telling me what she'd done.

oranges · 08/08/2008 19:20

I'd feel pretty crap, but think he'd done all the right things. maybe suggest he doesn't see her again!

Original poster
Kaedsmum · 08/08/2008 19:20

I must add, it's not me. It's a couple that me and DP are best friends with. We have babies the same age and spend a lot of time together.

She was just some random woman in a club who had liked him previously. She is tarty but pretty and my friend feels shitty because she's just had a baby. Her DP has been with A LOT of women in the past and was a rogue but he's totally settled down since they got together.

She doesn't know what to make of it so she's been talking to me about it.

OP posts:
LadySanders · 08/08/2008 19:22

i'd be pissed off, but sounds like he did right thing and told you about it. had vaguely similar situation with my dp recently, have made it clear i don't expect him to be spending any social time with the girl in question from now on (he works iwth her unfortunately)

Hecate · 08/08/2008 19:23

come on, what 'situation' ?? I bet if I went for a drink with you, or stood next to you when you were on a night out, saying "hi, how are you..", and then suddenly leaned in, I'd get pretty damn close before you managed to get your arms up to shove me off! You stand close to people, you chat, you don't expect them to leap on you! He reacted appropriately.

Overmydeadbody · 08/08/2008 19:26

I'd probably be a bit paranoid understandably but also pleased at the man's reaction.

I wouldn't bring it up agasin though or let it consume me or worry or think about it too much. It wouldn't do any good.

I would also be pleased I was obviously with a man that other women fancied!

Overmydeadbody · 08/08/2008 19:27

I would hate to think I was married to a man that no one else fancied, ever!

LynetteScavo · 08/08/2008 19:27

Ofcourse I'd be pissed off...but also dead chuffed that I was married to him, and know he wouldn't do anything with any one else.Ever.

macdoodle · 08/08/2008 19:28

Cynic I am I would wonder what story she would tell...and why he is so worried what other people would say
IME a rogue is a rogue is a rogue

Original poster
Kaedsmum · 08/08/2008 19:28

that's a really good point actually! Both our DPs get a lot of attention and turn it down, so that's a good thing to think- atleast we're with good looking men!!

OP posts:
toofriendly · 08/08/2008 19:41

I'd think it was fairly normal for a night out TBH and very proud of his behaviour

troubledfriend · 09/08/2008 01:08

totally normal in these parts too

Alexa808 · 09/08/2008 06:48

How did she get so close that she was able to try to kiss him??? If you know her I'd demand an answer from her as to what she was thinking and would leave her under no illusion what's coming at her if she ever dares to do anything like this again.

I wouldn't bring it up with him again.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/08/2008 08:02

He pushed her away and told you about it. Decent bloke!

morningpaper · 09/08/2008 08:10

agree, normal for a night out

be glad that your hubby is confident enough in himself not to find it wildly flattering and cooperate! he sounds lovely

toofriendly · 09/08/2008 11:52

My nasty suspicious mind, would be wondering what her version is. If it's really as the DH told it, as she just lent in for a surprise kiss, which he pushed away, not sure why he'd be worried if his DW heard it from someone else?

If it is as he tells it, then nothing to worry about and perfectly normal for a night out. Actually, if it was just a kiss, which he initiated on a drunken night out, in front of his mates, not sure that's too much to worry about either TBH, but would be concerned if he's lying about it.

Anniegetyourgun · 09/08/2008 12:04

You can worry too much about these things. Unless there's any other reason to suspect him, I'd put my arms round him and tell him how very much I appreciate his honesty and loyalty, and then (circumstances permitting) go on to show I appreciated his attractiveness too .

serenity · 09/08/2008 12:23

If it was some random woman? It honestly wouldn't bother me and I'd use it as teasing ammunition for oh, the next five years or so, but I haven't recently had a baby and me and Dh have been together a very long time, so I'm definitely more complacent than a stressed out new mum.

saultanpepper · 09/08/2008 13:42

toofriendly: "not sure why he'd be worried if his DW heard it from someone else"
macdoodle: "what story would she tell...and why he's so worried what other people will say"

Jaysus - we men don't stand a chance with you women do we? If he does tell you, you get suspicious because you wonder why he's telling you first and thereby getting his version across before anyone else can, and if someone else told you first, you get suspicious because he didn't mention it. I feel sorry for your DP's, I really do.

Perhaps you might consider just accepting the fact that he told his DW so she got the truth first-hand, not some half-assed third-hand story from some drunkard who tries to put two and two together and ends up with the square root of Pi, thereby causing unnecessary hurt and worry.

Imagine how differently the thread title could have read if someone else had told the OP first: "Friend says she thinks she saw DP snogging a tart in a bar, he says she came onto him & he pushed her away, don't know what to think, I feel so hurt and betrayed"

Give the poor bastid some credit, eh?

beanieb · 09/08/2008 13:48

it would worry me, I don't see how it couldn't. I would be massively pissed off with her. Do you ever socialise with her? If it were me and you do, I would summon all my courage to say something to her. Nothing nasty but just let her know what he has told you and tell her how unimpressed you are that she would be continuing to try to attach herself to someone who is happy in a relationship.

macdoodle · 09/08/2008 13:59

oh well saultan you are obviously new - once you have been here a while you will see from some of the stories here and maybe undertand why some of us are so cynical ...and if you search my name and read my story you will see why I am such a cynic - it will be a long long time before I ever trust a man again

macdoodle · 09/08/2008 14:00

Didn't mean that in a nasty way mind - just that after a while you get to know some of the stories and the way people react to certain threads - suffice to say I am usually fairly paranoid and untrusting !

Swipe left for the next trending thread