Would you class this as emotional cheating?

[sunflowersunnydays]

Would you consider this emotional cheating?
About a month ago I found out that my husband who is in his 30s had been messaging a 19 year old for around 2–3 weeks pretty much all day and throughout the night too whilst I was asleep.
They met on a group holiday (I didn’t attend) and the messaging started after they got home from there, my husband was the one who started the messaging.
The messages turned flirty and he said things like “I am staying up later to talk to you” and “you are fun to talk to” and also asking for photos of her in her underwear (she didn’t end up sending any) my husband also sent photos of our child to her and photos of his work. There were other things said too.
Whilst the messaging was going on they actually ended up meeting up again with friends but my husband didn’t tell me she was going to be there (the others are men, she was the girlfriend of one of the other boys) hence why I didn’t attend as the meet ups are normally just men.
My husband denied most of it to begin with and I had to find out the truth from the 19 year old in the end and then he admitted to 90% of it.
The girl said he made her feel listened to and cared for.

Yes.

I'm not sure that I would call this cheating, but I would be angry (especially asking for the underwear pic) and feel he had behaved inappropriately. Luckily it's only been going on for a couple of weeks so it's early enough to nip it in the bud. I'd ask him not to contact her any more.

I would consider this full blown cheating absolutely

Yes

He asked a teenager for underwear photos, and the poor, deluded child said he made her feel ‘listened to and cared for’? God help us all.

100% cheating in my opinion

I'm so sorry, OP - this is appalling. Asking for pictures of a 19yo in her underwear. What, so he can ogle and wank over her? This is really nasty stuff. If she thought this grim interest from a man in his 30s made her feel listened to and cared for, then I would regard her as vulnerable and him as grooming her. Again, I'm really sorry, OP. DH and I have had periods of open relationship so I have quite an expansive view of what is acceptable for me in a relationship but I think this is awful.

It is not cheating, it is worse. He has been predatory towards a teenager. His pursuit of her is creepy, entitled, and stalkerish. The fact she was keeping her distance but also being careful to not anger him with harsh rejection indicates to me she is a bit afraid of him. I would be wondering just who I married.

Your 30s husband met another man's girlfriend on holiday and has been asking her for saucy photos?
If it isn't cheating yet, it is certainly crossing lines and just grim

Yes 💯

But also it doesn’t matter what people here think. You have to decide if you are comfortable with the boundaries you set up and whether he crossed them. You also have to decide whether you want to continue in a relationship where your boundaries may not be respected.

I personally think it is cheating and it is disgusting and disrespectful. How he reacts and what he does next to put this right will tell you everything about who he is as a person. Make your decisions based on his actions not his words because he will try to talk a good game to get away with it.

Yes,he's been sexting a teenager!
Grim.

He asked a 19 year old for photos in her underwear. Yeah, that's premium sleazebag stuff. I wouldn't be sharing a house with him let alone a bed.

He’s crossed the line; between the photo request and the comment about feeling listened to…
I think it would be hard to trust him again.

I can't quite work out why you're asking OP.

You 100% know the answer.

This is about the third thread you have started about your H's cheating with this young woman OP.
I don't think the answers you get on this thread will say anything new.

I understand that there can be a bit of light and shade in life, but this is unequivocal. It's out the door with him.

I'm sorry you had the misfortune to engage with such a low grade individual OP.

Yes. Also, ew. He sounds like a right creep.

Are you sure she’s another man’s girlfriend and are you sure they met as a group? Both things seem very unlikely.

Yes and 30's and she's 19.... Gross

You will get the same answers you have received previously. A man is his 30s texting this stuff to a 19 year old is not just emotionally cheating, he’s a creep.

Yes it is cheating. I think you may have asked about this before? Regardless, you need to make a decision on whether you can move forward in your marriage (I personally would not forgive this), or separate (which would be my advice).

Maybe the reason you keep coming back and posting again is because you want different answers? Or you're super confused, which I totally understand.

In your shoes, though, I'd be feckin LIVID. He would be out on the lawn or the street with his stuff chucked after him in a bin liner and given his marching orders.

Find your balls woman and screw them in and get some self-respect. If there's nobody else to tell you that in your life, then I'm here telling you now, as an older person. You have permission to tell him to go and feck himself.

I think it’s just cheating period. Emotional cheating is more understated. This man has came out and asked for sexy pics.

The fact she’s a teenager makes it even more disgusting.

It feels like he’s grooming her. She probably doesn’t have good male role models and from her side it was probably more that she thought of him as a good friend/older brother, which is likely at least partly why she didn’t send the pics.

You've posted about this before haven't you? Yes, it is cheating and he's a creep asking a teenager for pictures in her underwear. It actually turned my stomach reading that 🤢 can you even bear to look at him now, let alone share a bed with him?

Well he’s obviously not 100% committed to you and your relationship so i’d say vaffanculo & ciao.