Would you class this as emotional cheating?

[sunflowersunnydays]

Would you consider this emotional cheating?
About a month ago I found out that my husband who is in his 30s had been messaging a 19 year old for around 2–3 weeks pretty much all day and throughout the night too whilst I was asleep.
They met on a group holiday (I didn’t attend) and the messaging started after they got home from there, my husband was the one who started the messaging.
The messages turned flirty and he said things like “I am staying up later to talk to you” and “you are fun to talk to” and also asking for photos of her in her underwear (she didn’t end up sending any) my husband also sent photos of our child to her and photos of his work. There were other things said too.
Whilst the messaging was going on they actually ended up meeting up again with friends but my husband didn’t tell me she was going to be there (the others are men, she was the girlfriend of one of the other boys) hence why I didn’t attend as the meet ups are normally just men.
My husband denied most of it to begin with and I had to find out the truth from the 19 year old in the end and then he admitted to 90% of it.
The girl said he made her feel listened to and cared for.

If he didn't think it was wrong, he wouldn't have hidden it/lied. It doesn't matter if anyone else thinks it deserves the label of cheating. He knew it would hurt you and chose to do it anyway. That's enough.

Ugh, what a creep perving over a teenager 🤮

Disgusting little man.

Creeping over a teenager.

Grim.

I wouldn’t say this was cheating - but it is MIGHTY disrespectful to you and your relationship.

I am a firm believer, humans can flirt with each other and it be completely harmless, I am just comfortable in my relationship.

HOWEVER, shes a teenager and this is wrong on so many other levels

Yes I thought I read this a few weeks ago. @sunflowersunnydays was given clear advice then which she seems to have ignored.
OP reread the answers you got last time. Nothing has changed. Does her boyfriend know about your husband asking for pictures of her in her underwear? Don't think that was mentioned last time. Is your husband still in contact with her?

Some times I worry I am over reacting and it isn’t actually that bad! Even though I know it’s that bad really. He currently isn’t living with me but I’m just so confused and hurt.

@Notquitethetruth Yes her boyfriend does know about him asking her for photos, they are obviously no longer friends and none of the other boys will talk to my DH either anymore.

No my DH does not speak to her anymore, he hasn’t since I found out.

Didn't the boyfriend think it was all a big laugh at first? So he has recognised that your husband crossed a line too. Do you have support and are you getting some counselling?
You are not overreacting. He has learnt that actions have consequences and is feeling sorry for himself. Do not be fooled by the woe is me act. His social network has abandoned him and you are no longer together. Don't be fooled. Think carefully about how you want to deal with this. Don't be rushed into making any quick decisions. Prioritise yourself and your child.

The fact you don’t live together makes this easier for you. You can walk away without any issues and find someone who respects you

Asking for photos of her in her underwear is way beyond an emotional affair. It seems the only thing stopping it being a full on affair is the 19 year old seeing him as a kind old bloke rather than sexually attractive. If he had any sense of his own reality he would be arse clenchingly embarrassed.

Disgusting, pervy old man stuff. And yes absolutely cheating. The only reason it didn't get physical is she has a BF and probably doesn't find him attractive.

I’m usually all for people having friends of both sexes, but a 30s man asking a 19 year old for underwear pictures is seriously creepy.

Yes 100% cheating and being creepy to a teenager very inappropriate