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Pregnant and losing my mind

19 replies

PrincessNads05 · 25/10/2026 20:46

I (FTM, 29w+3d) have seriously lost my mind. I feel myself going absolutely crazy and unhinged.

I’ve always been the worst at expressing my emotions to my SO. I’ve been having days of feeling low, more so in the past month and I find it easier to cry and get it over with rather than share what I’m feeling.

Just last week, I started to cry in front of SO who kept asking me what was wrong. I told him I was feeling uneasy, and he started panicking and calling 999. I couldn’t explain to him clearly that it was more emotional, and not physical. I kept telling him to stop calling through tears in my eyes, but couldn’t tell him exactly why and just left the room. That made him upset, and he stopped talking to me. We reconciled at night after I told him that I was just feeling emotionally low and that I couldn’t put it into words, and that I’d try to be better at it.

Two nights ago, on Friday, I started feeling low again. I felt so worthless and lethargic the entire day. I called my mom who noticed I wasn’t my usual self and asked if everything was okay, to which I said I was. My SO noticed my mood was not the usual as well, and asked me later on to which I replied it was nothing, and that I was fine. Big mistake on my part. He asked me 2-3 times and I wouldn’t tell him, which got him upset again. He went quiet on me. I had a good cry, and was feeling better. We’d agreed to go grocery shopping in the evening, so I went up to him and asked him if we could go. He’d gone completely cold and started ignoring everything I had to say. I kept begging him to talk to me and be normal with me. He told me I couldn’t stay under his roof if I wouldn’t answer his questions.

I told him I was feeling worthless, and anxious about the fact that I wasn’t going to be a good mother. He heard this but went quiet again. I told him these were my emotions and that I would handle them on my own, and he can’t do much to help. This annoyed him so much. Over the past two nights, he hasn’t spoken to me properly. I just want things to go back to how they were.

I’ve been begging him to talk to me and that I’d try to be better. I can’t take the silence especially now. It’s driving me mad. I give him a few hours of space, we sleep in separate rooms but I need him. I’ve told him that and I’ve tried to explain my side of the story and how I want us to go back to being how we were. I’ve been getting super emotional and just been a little all over the place, raising my voice at times.

He’s threatened me with divorce, asked me to get lost or just to die. He says I’ve ruined his entire weekend, just like I do everytime. He hasn’t once considered the baby growing inside me, which I’ve asked him about and keeps telling me that I should’ve thought about it before being so stubborn. I’m the root cause of all the problems. He’s going to give me one more chance, but if he senses an ounce of stubbornness, he’s going to divorce me on the spot.

I told him I’d try not to be so stubborn anymore, but he can’t use such words and use anger to justify them. I want him to apologise, but he’s saying he won’t and this is how he’s going to be and I should accept it if I want to stay or leave. I have no one to talk to and nowhere to go. I need him, even if he doesn’t need me. I don’t know what to do. This entire situation is driving me crazy. I’m feeling so overwhelmed. I can’t leave. I can’t stay. I just feel so helpless and alone.

TL;DR: Argument with husband has escalated to threats of divorce because of my stubbornness. I can’t seem to let it go, and I have no one to talk to and nowhere to go. Need help to streamline my thoughts and be practical.

Edit: I feel numb. I can’t cry, even thought I’m so hurt. I want to give him space. I want to let things be. But I’m in such a state of confusion that I’m spiralling oit of control. I just wish I was no longer here, even though I don’t want any harm to come to baby.

OP posts:
Boomer50 · 25/10/2026 21:30

Perhaps you need to see a Therapist and talk about your feelings and where these emotions are coming from . Could be pregnancy hormones also . Have you chatted to your GP ?

PrincessNads05 · 25/10/2026 21:32

I’ve reached out to a counselling program for further support. I’ve tried to do it twice in the past but been hesitant to get past the screening stage. This time I’m trying to see through.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 25/10/2026 21:34

Talk to your midwife. Get some prenatal support.
Were you having counselling /low mood before or is this just since pregnancy?

PrincessNads05 · 25/10/2026 21:37

cestlavielife · 25/10/2026 21:34

Talk to your midwife. Get some prenatal support.
Were you having counselling /low mood before or is this just since pregnancy?

I’ve noticed it more over the past few weeks. I was working which kept me occupied, but I’ve been on maternity leave since the beginning of October which has really ramped up how I’m feeling. I try to get out for some fresh air everyday and engage in other activities, but me being at home alone with my thoughts a majority of the time isn’t really helping.

OP posts:
CelticSilver · 25/10/2026 21:43

Can you go and stay with your Mum for a bit? This is a very unhealthy situation. Crying, silent treatment, 999 calls, raised voices, threats of divorce.

You both need to be on the same page and emotionally resilient for when your baby arrives. The fatigue and emotions will only get worse, and I dread to think of potential outcomes.

Just a question - you say your emotions are yours to deal with, so why are you standing in front of him crying and refusing to say what's wrong? No wonder he is getting angry and frustrated.

PrincessNads05 · 25/10/2026 21:47

CelticSilver · 25/10/2026 21:43

Can you go and stay with your Mum for a bit? This is a very unhealthy situation. Crying, silent treatment, 999 calls, raised voices, threats of divorce.

You both need to be on the same page and emotionally resilient for when your baby arrives. The fatigue and emotions will only get worse, and I dread to think of potential outcomes.

Just a question - you say your emotions are yours to deal with, so why are you standing in front of him crying and refusing to say what's wrong? No wonder he is getting angry and frustrated.

I wasn’t standing in front of him and crying. The first time round, I was just in the same room and staring out the window. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him I was feeling out of sorts and that’s when I started to tear up. I expected reassurance, not for him to immediately panic and start calling emergency services. I tried to stop him but he wouldn’t listen. Once that was resolved, I’d even let him know that what I wanted was for him to remain
calm, patient and to be more reassuring towards me in those times. I don’t expect him to solve what I’m feeling, and the second time round there was no crying before the argument. I was just a bit dull.

OP posts:
Pansykavalier · 25/10/2026 21:48

Your husband is clearly behaving totally unreasonably. I can understand his frustration but is this how he normally handles conflict?

You urgently need to seek help with your emotions and your mental health. See your GP, but also arrange therapy.

NB… What led to you starting your maternity leave so early? 26 weeks if my maths is correct.

Boomer50 · 25/10/2026 21:51

PrincessNads05 · 25/10/2026 21:37

I’ve noticed it more over the past few weeks. I was working which kept me occupied, but I’ve been on maternity leave since the beginning of October which has really ramped up how I’m feeling. I try to get out for some fresh air everyday and engage in other activities, but me being at home alone with my thoughts a majority of the time isn’t really helping.

Good news . Perhaps you could focus on preparing your baby's nursery or
searching online for things you may need . Distracting yourself with other things instead of constantly thinking is the way to go . You had 8 hours a day at work where you were tuned out of home life . Now you need to spend those 8 hours you are not at work by finding something you enjoy . Do you have friends that you could meet up with for coffee or lunch ?

PrincessNads05 · 25/10/2026 21:52

Pansykavalier · 25/10/2026 21:48

Your husband is clearly behaving totally unreasonably. I can understand his frustration but is this how he normally handles conflict?

You urgently need to seek help with your emotions and your mental health. See your GP, but also arrange therapy.

NB… What led to you starting your maternity leave so early? 26 weeks if my maths is correct.

Edited

Me stopping work is another issue altogether. My husband asked me to stop in the 3rd trimester, as he didn’t want me to take on too much stress. I wanted to work as long as I could. We discussed it in the beginning of the pregnancy. I told my husband working gave me an outlet and that I enjoyed it, he turned it against me and said I didn’t care enough about the unborn child to get the rest I needed. That was a huge argument, the only way for me to resolve it was for me to agree and stop work early. Now I know that wasn’t the best decision.

OP posts:
PrincessNads05 · 25/10/2026 21:54

PrincessNads05 · 25/10/2026 21:52

Me stopping work is another issue altogether. My husband asked me to stop in the 3rd trimester, as he didn’t want me to take on too much stress. I wanted to work as long as I could. We discussed it in the beginning of the pregnancy. I told my husband working gave me an outlet and that I enjoyed it, he turned it against me and said I didn’t care enough about the unborn child to get the rest I needed. That was a huge argument, the only way for me to resolve it was for me to agree and stop work early. Now I know that wasn’t the best decision.

We come from a traditionally conservative background. Family members who have had kids recently haven’t really worked all the way till the end of pregnancy, and those were the ones he used as examples to tell me that I was wrong for wanting to put my need to work before the baby.

OP posts:
PrincessNads05 · 25/10/2026 21:55

Boomer50 · 25/10/2026 21:51

Good news . Perhaps you could focus on preparing your baby's nursery or
searching online for things you may need . Distracting yourself with other things instead of constantly thinking is the way to go . You had 8 hours a day at work where you were tuned out of home life . Now you need to spend those 8 hours you are not at work by finding something you enjoy . Do you have friends that you could meet up with for coffee or lunch ?

We moved to the city quite recently, plus I’m very introverted and don’t have many friends. But I have enrolled for prenatal yoga and other events in the area, to try and maintain a level of social interaction. I’ve taken up knitting to make something for baby before they’re here as well.

OP posts:
Pumpkindoodles · 25/10/2026 21:58

Go stay with your mum.
he called 999 because you felt ‘uneasy’? Silent treatment, telling you to go die, calling it ‘his roof’ and threatening to kick you out if you don’t obey him. Maybe it’s just a normal reaction to your situation and you feel uneasy because you’re about to have a baby with a total controlling prick?
where are you in the world? You said 999 but also used American terminology so it’s not clear but In the uk you could talk to your midwife for some mental health and some practical support. Have you got anything like that?

cestlavielife · 25/10/2026 22:00

Pleaae tell everything to your midwife.
Why you stopped working so soon.
It does not appear to be any medical reason to stop working so early (and does this mean less paid mat leave post birth?)
And
It sounds like a controlling marriage.
Your midwife can refer you for support And help.

PrincessNads05 · 25/10/2026 22:00

Pumpkindoodles · 25/10/2026 21:58

Go stay with your mum.
he called 999 because you felt ‘uneasy’? Silent treatment, telling you to go die, calling it ‘his roof’ and threatening to kick you out if you don’t obey him. Maybe it’s just a normal reaction to your situation and you feel uneasy because you’re about to have a baby with a total controlling prick?
where are you in the world? You said 999 but also used American terminology so it’s not clear but In the uk you could talk to your midwife for some mental health and some practical support. Have you got anything like that?

Edited

I am in the UK. Not native to here, which could explain the terminology. I haven’t spoken to my midwife about this yet, but plan to do so tomorrow and hopefully get the help I need.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 25/10/2026 22:02

Ask about support services for people from your traditionally conservative background.
Divorce may be best option frankly

PrincessNads05 · 25/10/2026 22:03

cestlavielife · 25/10/2026 22:00

Pleaae tell everything to your midwife.
Why you stopped working so soon.
It does not appear to be any medical reason to stop working so early (and does this mean less paid mat leave post birth?)
And
It sounds like a controlling marriage.
Your midwife can refer you for support And help.

Thank you. I will let them know.

OP posts:
KimMumsnet · 25/10/2026 22:09

Hello, OP. We're sorry you're going through this during such a vulnerable time. It looks like some posters have given you some great advice, but we'd also like to just point you in the direction of the links at the top of this thread (just above the opening post). You might find some organisations there which can really help you. And we echo what the poster has said above - midwives are usually very clued in and able to point you to help and support so do speak to them if you can.
Flowers

newchaptermummy · 01/11/2026 15:04

I will be honest - he sounds like an awful partner and you would be a lot better off without!

When you’re pregnant it is normal for your hormones to make you act out of character and to play tricks on you. When I was pregnant I was convinced my husband had cheated, given me aids and I was going to then pass it onto the baby. I couldn’t even listen to Queen I believed it so much 😂😂😂 this was all spurred by the routine blood tests! Once they came back I was fine and didn’t give it a second thought. My husband? Didn’t even bat an eyelid bless him.

You deserve a whole lot better!

Nursegladys2 · 01/11/2026 20:09

OP this doesn't sound healthy at all. Please speak to your GP, and midwife, to see if you can get some peri natal mental health support. Quite frankly, your OH doesn't sound particularly supportive. Silent treatment? Really? Could you have a few days with family? If you're struggling you can call 111 and select option 2 for mental health support.

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