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Original poster

Has boyfriend gone no contact?

47 replies

Alina2 · 21/10/2026 08:45

My boyfriend was very rude to me the night before my birthday and I didn’t speak to him on my birthday because of that. He had made me cry on the phone as he has also swore at me all because I said I expected him to have made some effort for my birthday. The next day he texted happy birthday and called a few times but I didn’t answer as he had said some horrible things to me the night before and not given an apology. He has not called me again now and I won’t be calling him as it seems he doesn’t care whether I’m upset enough to say sorry or if I’m in his life or not. I thought he loved me as we were planning on getting married so to think he’s fine not talking to me is hurtful. Does it seem like it’s over if he’s not been back in touch? Thanks

OP posts:
Dery · 21/10/2026 08:51

Why do you want to be with someone who is so horrible to you? This isn’t what a good relationship looks like. And don’t say it’s because you love him. We can love people who are wrong for us in which case we need to think with our heads rather than our hearts for a bit while we get over having loved a wrong person. Most of us have suffered a broken heart at least once. Hurts a hell of a lot but it passes and we’re able to love again.

Dandeloosha · 21/10/2026 08:54

Did he pick a fight with you because he was too tight to buy you a present? Either way, this is not the kind of man you want in your life.

Original poster
Alina2 · 21/10/2026 09:24

Dery · 21/10/2026 08:51

Why do you want to be with someone who is so horrible to you? This isn’t what a good relationship looks like. And don’t say it’s because you love him. We can love people who are wrong for us in which case we need to think with our heads rather than our hearts for a bit while we get over having loved a wrong person. Most of us have suffered a broken heart at least once. Hurts a hell of a lot but it passes and we’re able to love again.

He hasn’t been like this before which was why I was taken aback but you’re right with your points, thanks a lot

OP posts:
Original poster
Alina2 · 21/10/2026 09:27

Dandeloosha · 21/10/2026 08:54

Did he pick a fight with you because he was too tight to buy you a present? Either way, this is not the kind of man you want in your life.

Thanks for responding. No he was tired from work and I was disappointed because I had expected him to send a nice message or talk to me nicely on the phone. It ended up being an argument because he made it one but I was not bothered by a present I was just hoping for some attention really

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OMGDidYouSayThat · 21/10/2026 09:31

I mean if someone genuinely cares about you they would make some kind of effort for your birthday, now it sounds like he's going silent on you to punish you for wanting him to put in more effort, sounds like hard work to me, think about whats good and bad in the relationship and make a decision about whether you want a future with him or whether you ditch him and move on.

CheeseWisely · 21/10/2026 09:31

Why were you asking / telling him you expected him to make an effort for your birthday the night before? How did you know that he hadn’t?

MrsPapillon · 21/10/2026 09:34

We don’t really know if he’s a massive dick, or if you gave him a hard time for not making an effort for your birthday without knowing that he actually had. He may have had a lovely surprise up his sleeve. But you wouldn’t answer his calls so eventually he’s taken the hint.

Whatshitnow · 21/10/2026 09:34

He doesn't sound like good boyfriend material to me.
Leave him be and consider him an ex boyfriend is my advice.
Relationships should enhance your life and make you happy. He won't.

Original poster
Alina2 · 21/10/2026 09:52

CheeseWisely · 21/10/2026 09:31

Why were you asking / telling him you expected him to make an effort for your birthday the night before? How did you know that he hadn’t?

He hadn’t mentioned anything and was talking to me in a cold tone so I waited until he got home from work. He didn’t bother calling so I did and he just said I have a headache I’m going to bed soon whilst I was hoping he’d make some mention of my birthday. He usually calls a lot and shows feelings so it was strange to me

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Original poster
Alina2 · 21/10/2026 09:52

Whatshitnow · 21/10/2026 09:34

He doesn't sound like good boyfriend material to me.
Leave him be and consider him an ex boyfriend is my advice.
Relationships should enhance your life and make you happy. He won't.

Thanks it seems so

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Original poster
Alina2 · 21/10/2026 09:54

OMGDidYouSayThat · 21/10/2026 09:31

I mean if someone genuinely cares about you they would make some kind of effort for your birthday, now it sounds like he's going silent on you to punish you for wanting him to put in more effort, sounds like hard work to me, think about whats good and bad in the relationship and make a decision about whether you want a future with him or whether you ditch him and move on.

Thanks yeah I was expecting him to understand he hurt me and at least call or text saying sorry but I’ve heard nothing so I guess it’s over

OP posts:
Original poster
Alina2 · 21/10/2026 09:55

MrsPapillon · 21/10/2026 09:34

We don’t really know if he’s a massive dick, or if you gave him a hard time for not making an effort for your birthday without knowing that he actually had. He may have had a lovely surprise up his sleeve. But you wouldn’t answer his calls so eventually he’s taken the hint.

Thanks yeah that’s true. He did say I don’t care about your birthday so I took that literally. I was expecting a text saying sorry really but I’ve heard nothing so it seems he doesn’t care at all

OP posts:
Boreded · 21/10/2026 10:01
  1. he was a dick and that’s not ok

BUT

  1. Either you wanted to sort it or you didn’t, he called you multiple times and you ignored it.

You are both behaving very immaturely. He shouldn’t have been awful, but we’ve all done it from time to time. By refusing his calls you have made it impossible for him to apologise and sort it out, now you aren’t hearing from him.

If you wanted to be with him and the rude behaviour wasn’t a deal breaker, but you didn’t want to talk to him then you should have messaged him to ask him to leave you alone to cool down. Now it has escalated into more.

Though FWIW, he should have sent an apology message as soon as it happened, even if you were both still mad at each other.

It’s all very childish

Absobeautely · 21/10/2026 10:04

Dump him for being rude and swearing at you, that's such trashy behaviour and not the actions of a man worth marrying.
Only date intelligent, life enhancing men, or, enjoy the bliss of being free of men entirely.

OMGDidYouSayThat · 21/10/2026 10:09

Alina2 · 21/10/2026 09:54

Thanks yeah I was expecting him to understand he hurt me and at least call or text saying sorry but I’ve heard nothing so I guess it’s over

Show quote history

There could be many reasons why he's chosen to give you the silent treatment, but it's shows a certain level of immaturity, he did however make an effort to contact you on your birthday, problems don't get resolved without communication.

I'm not saying he did but i just hope he hadn't planned something special for you but didn't get the chance to show you because you went quiet on your birthday. Maybe that's why he got defensive because he had actually planned a surprise.

It's natural to feel like you want to ignore someone when they hurt you but it won't always be the best way to deal with a situation. Maybe tell him how it made you feel and if you discover he had made plans for your birthday you can swallow some humble pie, if he made no effort then perhaps it's time to move on.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 21/10/2026 10:25

He's hardly ghosted you has he? If anything, you've ghosted him.

He phoned you repeatedly the day after the argument, and you didn't answer. He text you to wish you happy birthday, you didn't answer. You say he hasn't apologised, you haven't actually given him much opportunity.

And we don't really know if he has anything to apologise for. Yes, he swore at you, which isn't great, but it sounds like that was after you picked a fight with him when he wasn't feeling well, for doing nothing for your birthday when it wasn't even your birthday yet.

It sounds like you're both to blame for the argument, but the lack of contact afterwards is entirely down to you, not him.

Brightbluesomething · 21/10/2026 13:30

I can’t see that he’s done a lot wrong and you’ve jumped to conclusions here. He was unwell and you had a go at him not knowing whether he’d made plans for your birthday.
He text you and tried to call you multiple times and you chose not to answer.
You sound really immature and pretty hard work.

Original poster
Alina2 · 21/10/2026 16:39

I called him today as I think we should end it maturely. He said himself that he doesn’t love me anymore and wants to end it so I presume he was planning to do this all along. He said he doesn’t care if he ever talks to me again either so we ended it. A couple of days ago he loved me and was planning a future and today he suddenly doesn’t love me anymore. I ended it anyways.

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SerendipityCat · 21/10/2026 16:46

Oh dear, sorry to hear that, op. But at least you know now why he was so arsey with you - looks like he wanted you to be the bad guy and end things. Well, he got his wish, and it sounds like you’re better off without him. Cowardly twat.

Coffeeathovima · 21/10/2026 16:49

What a depressing loveless “relationship”

Coffeeathovima · 21/10/2026 16:49

Alina2 · 21/10/2026 16:39

I called him today as I think we should end it maturely. He said himself that he doesn’t love me anymore and wants to end it so I presume he was planning to do this all along. He said he doesn’t care if he ever talks to me again either so we ended it. A couple of days ago he loved me and was planning a future and today he suddenly doesn’t love me anymore. I ended it anyways.

I would guess there’s someone else

1983Louise · 21/10/2026 17:04

Coffeeathovima · 21/10/2026 16:49

I would guess there’s someone else

Show quote history

I thought the same......

BadgerBadgerBear · 21/10/2026 17:06

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 21/10/2026 10:25

He's hardly ghosted you has he? If anything, you've ghosted him.

He phoned you repeatedly the day after the argument, and you didn't answer. He text you to wish you happy birthday, you didn't answer. You say he hasn't apologised, you haven't actually given him much opportunity.

And we don't really know if he has anything to apologise for. Yes, he swore at you, which isn't great, but it sounds like that was after you picked a fight with him when he wasn't feeling well, for doing nothing for your birthday when it wasn't even your birthday yet.

It sounds like you're both to blame for the argument, but the lack of contact afterwards is entirely down to you, not him.

Agree with this

OMGDidYouSayThat · 21/10/2026 17:48

Alina2 · 21/10/2026 16:39

I called him today as I think we should end it maturely. He said himself that he doesn’t love me anymore and wants to end it so I presume he was planning to do this all along. He said he doesn’t care if he ever talks to me again either so we ended it. A couple of days ago he loved me and was planning a future and today he suddenly doesn’t love me anymore. I ended it anyways.

Sorry to hear that, but it sounds like you deserve better anyway, go find someone to love you properly...

Original poster
Alina2 · 21/10/2026 17:51

New update he called back and apologized said he loves me and doesn’t want to end it he was just hurt I ignored him yesterday. He said he was angry but he loves me and wants a future together. I haven’t responded as I need time to think, not sure what to do as maybe I was also at fault for the argument as some posters suggested

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