Has boyfriend gone no contact?

[Alina2]

My boyfriend was very rude to me the night before my birthday and I didn’t speak to him on my birthday because of that. He had made me cry on the phone as he has also swore at me all because I said I expected him to have made some effort for my birthday. The next day he texted happy birthday and called a few times but I didn’t answer as he had said some horrible things to me the night before and not given an apology. He has not called me again now and I won’t be calling him as it seems he doesn’t care whether I’m upset enough to say sorry or if I’m in his life or not. I thought he loved me as we were planning on getting married so to think he’s fine not talking to me is hurtful. Does it seem like it’s over if he’s not been back in touch? Thanks

Oh the silly drama. Honestly.

Either of you have kids?

I don't think either of you is right for the other. Both your communication skills need some work - I would concentrate on this before you get into another relationship. All this 'I don't love you - oh, wait, no I really DO love you' is going to mess with your head, so I'd call the whole thing off.

6 of 1 and 1/2 dozen of the other.

I might be wrong but i’m guessing they aren’t very old.

No kids, I know it sounds very immature. It’s the first time something strange like this has happened though 🤦🏼‍♀️

How many times do you want him to make you cry on your birthday before you end it for good?

He's a dick. Get rid of him and find someone who respects you.

Relief

How long have you been together?

Love is something that grows over a long time, it’s a deep appreciation and understanding of someone.

I told my husband I loved him after 6 weeks, I didn’t love him at the time, I just went with the motions because I fancied him and the relationship felt like it was at that stage. The real love come years later when I realised it was a long term thing, when we had highs and lows and saw it through.

He sounds like a loser and you deserve better.

The very notion that love has even been mention in this year 9 drama is ridiculous. This isn’t love. Not even close.

3 years

If you two care anything about a future together, you need to buy a book or two about couples communication and take turns reading chapters to each other. One section will definitely include calling each other names being off limits. There is a way to constructively argue versus belittling and speaking to each other without respect.

If you don't take skilled advice about communication and practice those skills until it becomes second nature, any relationship you have will be doomed.

And it’s been very up and down hasn’t it? If you are honest with yourself.

How old are you?

Did he call you or text you to say sorry? How is it you didn’t respond if it was a call? Have you told him you will think about it?

I suspect this man did not organise anything for your birthday and this drama conveniently covers over that. If he didn’t organise anything, even as simple as a card and thoughtful present, you should not consider going back with him. Men who love you want to show you that they care on your birthday. Spending time with men who don’t care wastes time when you could be with friends or out meeting the one who does care.

No hence why I came on here for advice. This is the first time something like this has happened so I don’t know whether to give it another chance as it’s been a one off. I’m 24.

Sorry but you both sound incredibly immature. Just end it, it's ridiculous. This isn't a normal adult relationship.

He called to say sorry. I answered the call but I didn’t tell him whether I wanted to stay together or not. He had said he was very upset as he had made an effort for my birthday but to be honest I wasn’t upset about the birthday it was more his attitude. Thanks for the response

What did he say he had done for your birthday?

Wasnt his bad attitude due to being tired and ill? And that was the day before your birthday? You probably should have answered his birthday calls. But also him saying he didn’t love you was very immature if it wasn’t true.

This could all be a bad misunderstanding and overreactions by two people who don’t communicate well. I’d meet him to talk it through. And FFS if you get back together work out how to communicate your needs to each other in a way you both understand. And he needs to know that if he ever says he doesn’t love you again you will need to walk away.

hope it works out for you. 🌺

Please find a quiet space and think what an authentic love looks like:

• caring or scolding
• make you happy or make you cry (due to hurt)
• being with you or ghosting
• willing to make effort for you without requesting or blaming you when you expect to do something reasonable for your
• respect with each other or make apologize even you did nothing wrong.

Then what do you expect for your marriage life? Be happy or be painful.
.

You're 24, been with him 3 years, so since you were 21. It's run it's course, so end it.

I made the mistake at around the same age, of basically forcing my then boyfriend of 5 years into marriage (which he'd always stated that he didn't believe in). Looking back, we should have split up instead. I wasted another 15 years and ended up leaving when I was 40.

Our relationship was full of silly stuff like what has gone on around your birthday, I'd get upset, he'd ignore me for days, I'd have to be the one to reach out...we didn't live together until we married, either. We were both very immature and very bad communicators.

You are only 24. May not feel like it right now, but you will go on to other (better) relationships.

You are 24 with lots of years to go. Sounds like you have outgrown each other and to be quite frank he sounds like a manipulative dickhead.
If you go back expect more of the same!!