I like him but he is also so strange

[Electricblu]

I know that this will make me sound like a terribly judgemental person, but I am questioning myself and it's not like me.
We met a few months ago through work (I do training and development for corporate businesses) and I can safely say that he intrigued me from the start. Very charming, confident and almost cocky on the one side, but a completely different person once without an audience. I'm obviously used to this through my work but not to this degree, and I still can't fully tell where the real him is in between those two degrees.

There are other things that are odd but it's mainly this complete switch between characters that throws me off because I can't tell who he really is, because it happens so quickly and smoothly.

I know that this will sound very strange but I don't know how else to explain it.
I know it's my own fault for having pursued this and I really like him, but I also wonder what the hell I am doing

what’s his other side like? is he strange like mr darcy or strange like mr hyde?

Neither. When he filled in his questionnaire I was worried because I genuinely thought that he was suicidal but when I spoke to him he was just completely flat and matter of fact. Most of the time he bounces between the two sides as if it's nothing.

If it bothers you that much to have to ask other people's opinions I would say dont go there. If he's odd now it could turn into a nightmare later....

He filled in which questionnaire, when and why?
If it was something to do with getting support at work maybe he wanted to sound really upset when I fact he's not that unwell? Or he's minimizing those feelings to you as obviously they're a sign of illness.

He could suffer from a personality disorder or be ND or bipolar. Or he could have no diagnosable health issues of this type.

You thought he was suicidal when he completed a questionnaire yet you’re dating him?

Sounds very odd that he would have two completely opposite personalities for work and for private. I get turning up the charm at work or appearing more confident but to not even know his real personality how can you know if you’re attracted to him or some act?

Maybe his work personality is just a mask. Would he have the job he does if he acted how the other side of him is day to day?

No, the questionnaire was mine (or rather my company's) to encourage team and individual development discussions but he scored zero at some scores which is really unusual and made me worry.

He sounds like a lot of people, with a separate work persona. He might actually be very dull.

Why are you dating him
then if he appears suicidal?

Do you find him a challenging puzzle?

Is he on meds?

I am attracted to him, but I am confused by the switching. And he's not crazy, just quite odd?

Why are you chasing this inconsistent man who seems suicidal, and flip flops between personalities?

he’s a vampire op!! or a poet. seriously though he sounds interesting. i can come off very dark humoured. people have said they couldn't read me at first. i’m autistic. could it be that?

This!

Life's hard enough. You don't need to do this to yourself.

I'll go with vampire. Thanks for this :D

who seems suicidal, and flip flops between personalities?

to be fair you could be describing me last week, and almost every other human at some point recently.

OK thanks! I think I can't explain myself very or I just made a complete fool of myself here. All ok

👟👟These will help you to run very fast.

i imagine you like interesting people, rather like i do

Not at all, you mention he’s odd but in what way?

Ok. I wouldn't care what some guff company questionnaire supposedly revealed about someone in terms of having a personal relationship with them.

I'd pay attention to their actions. Not their answers to a forced set of HR mandated questions.

I don't understand why the company would give out questionnaires gauging people's level of suicidal ideation. What precisely are they going to do about it? Offer free psychiatric consultancy, therapy and medicine forever? A place at an inpatient psych ward? Sack them?

Sometimes the public view that people present is not there true feelings. It can be very hard to be the life and soul of a party when you would rather be sat at home with a book and a tube of pringles, but societal expectations often mean you have to do things that make you unhappy.

I don't understand why the company would give out questionnaires gauging people's level of suicidal ideation.

it sounds like it was a sort of ice breaker questionnaire. i don’t think it was ‘on a scale of one to 10 how appealing does ‘ending it all’ sound right now’.

I think you just need to get to know him, what he put on a job application isn't necessarily what he is like, but if he may be suicidal keep well clear. If he has huge mood swings again steer clear.

No it was "purpose" questions that he all filled at zero scores which was unusual. But honestly it's fine. Just threw me at the time

The real him is the person who is making and keeping you confused.

The "attraction" you're feeling is your system trying to make sense of his manipulation of you. It works like an internal warning system.

Get rid.