DH waking me up at 3am…AGAIN!

[dogsaremybusiness]

I had a thread in here before about this. My DH has a habit of drinking, and falling asleep with the TV on. So I wake up at say 1am, hear the noise and go down to switch it all off. Then he’ll come to bed around 3/4am and I’m woken again. Then I’m up for work at 630am. Well yesterday I had surgery. Same thing has happened and I’ve been awake since 3am. He was so good yesterday looking after me, but this just feels insane to me right now. He’s snoring like a hog so I’m now on the sofa wide awake and my work starts at 7am (from home). He’s supposed to be covering for me today but I think he will not wake up tbh.

Fuck sake! If he falls asleep on the sofa he needs to stay there for the rest of the night! Why does he keep doing that?

I think him waking is the least of your worries. You’re living with an alcoholic. That affects so many more things than just your sleep.

I know! He’s promised this but there you are! I’m now on the sofa and I know this will bite me on the ass but I had a glass of wine to get sleepy!

He needs professionel treatment. I couldn't live with an alcoholic.

He’s not an alcoholic. Doesn’t drink every night.

Just looked at your other recent thread about your marriage OP.
I think the advice you got on that one was overwhelming that you would be better off separating. Sounds as though things haven't changed for the better.
Edited to add you don't have to drink.every night to be an alcoholic.

Practical options. Check to see if you can set your tv to turn itself off, most have a sleep timer or buy a plug that allows you to set it to turn off. Ear plugs, separate rooms, sofa bed and remove all alcohol from house.

You can be an alcoholic and not drink every night.
Also I don't think you are supposed to have alcohol after surgery either
This has obviously been going on for a while. What do you intend to do?

You sound a little codependent OP! His behaviour isn’t normal, but regardless of labels it’s disrupting others (you) and needs to change.

You don’t have to drink every night to be alcoholic.

He doesn’t seem to care for you does he?

Get yourself a smart plug connected to the TV turn it off with a app on your phone then leave him downstairs.

Neither of you have a healthy relationship with alcohol. He's a mess, and you're basically having wine for breakfast after having surgery.

Make sure your door is firmly shut and wear ear plugs. Leave him down on the sofa. His problem, not yours.

I also thought alcoholic, this is not normal behaviour.

Do you have a spare room? You would be better off sleeping in different rooms.

I would ignore him and continue to sleep.

Have you explained how his behaviour is affecting you and told him its unacceptable and has to stop immediately?
If so, what was his response.?
If not,why not?

That is not the definition of an alcoholic.

There is definitely some dysfunctional behaviour/thinking around alcohol going on her, isn't there? Whether or not it ticks the box for alcoholism.

Having a glass of wine to make you 'sleepy' is not a good idea because alcohol might make you feel sleepy initially but it disrupts your sleep patterns, reduces the quality of your sleep and leads to more frequent waking. So don't do do it.

Your post reads that you had a glass of wine in the middle of the night to make you sleepy. Is that the case?

If the TV volume is so loud that it wakes you up at 1am, then put a sleep timer on or turn the volume down before you go to bed. If you do it just to turn the TV off because you know its on but it doesn't disturb you, don't. Leave it.

Put a blanket downstairs and if he falls asleep on the sofa, cover him up and hopefully he'll stay there. Most people wake up in the early hours if they're asleep on the sofa because they're cold.

I occasionally fall asleep on thebsofa and, if I do, i just stay there. My partner wakes up at 5am for work and I don't want to disturb him. If he won't do that for you, your relationship has bigger problems than the tv being on at 1am.

Both of you stop drinking in the evenings in front of the TV. No one needs alcohol to enjoy watching telly. And, if you do, switch of the TV set and do something less boring instead.

Is the communication in your relationship positive and effective?

Christ alive - he has an alcohol problem. Alcoholism is not a one size fits all. His drinking is affecting him and those around him .

This. If the TV switched itself off and he stayed downstairs, you wouldn't me disturbed.

I wish you hadn't mentioned alcohol, as posters will now use this as an excuse to derail your thread.

Oh dear, i think you need to read up on alcoholism.

Whether or not he's an alcoholic you say he's in the habit of drinking and watching TV then falling asleep. He then wakes you up, even the night after you've had your operation. Does he care? Have you had a talk about it, what does he say? Sounds like you both have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol to me. Drinking in the early hours to get to sleep doesn't sound healthy to me.

gross op!

I wouldn’t be able to live like this ! Why is he doing that? How often? Deffo not a normal thing to do

I would put your TV on a timer, timed to turn off at 1am, then at least you are only woken once and should be able to get back to sleep.