Will leaving put children more at risk?

[Exhaustedconfused1]

I'll try to keep it brief although it's very complicated.

Me and 2 teenage DC's have lived with domestic abuse for years in form of shouting, emotional abuse and aggression from DH.

1 year ago it got worse - both children saying they were scared of him. DS very depressed. Told him I would leave and he said he would get help to manage aggression. Nothing changed.

2 months ago DS started talking of wanting to die - partly due she says to DH temper. DH has reduced the aggression and engaged with agencies to start counselling (not started yet) DS on CAMHS waiting list.

Last week DS attempted suicide.
I want to leave for the safety of DS but also because we all need to. But DH is saying this will put DS more at risk and that i should wait as he is trying to change. I dont know what to do.

I am working with a domestic abuse charity who are wanting me to leave but they don't know about the suical thoughts.

My parents divorced for similar reasons. Best thing that ever happened for all concerned. Both parents were happier and we got to enjoy time with dad without him being angry and scary.
don’t get me wrong he hated the divorce and fell apart a bit at first but still the best turning point in my childhood

I think you need to separate from him asap.

Oh you must leave, please do it. Your poor children. Why are you even discussing this with your husband?

Leave please, as soon as you can. Get help from the DV charity and get you and your children away from him. If he is serious about getting help then good, but that doesn't mean you have to stay with him. Your poor children 😢 they need you to act now.

Leave. For heaven's sake - for the sake of your utterly desperate children- leave.

Leave.

Leave. Your DS is crying out for you to do so. X

WTH am I reading!

Listen to the DV charity not your abuser

Your poor poor children - subjected to a life of abuse throughout their entire childhood

It is time you put the children first -

Put your children first and leave. Your son is crying out for you to leave. Just pack a bag and go. Seriously in a few months your lives will be so much better and i bet your son wont need camhs involvement.

Op, your kids are begging you to leave. In their words and their actions. Please put your kids first and get TF out, don’t let this toxic situation ruin more of their lives.

Teenagers can choose not to see the other parent

Run

Leave ASAP. Now or tomorrow. Get support from Women's Aid. Please put your children first. Leave this man

Leave. Talk to women's aid. Use all evidence to stop or have supervised contact only with his Dad while everything calms down.

I'm so sorry.

Leave asap for the sake of your kids

Leave ASAP . Your dc are telling you that they are seriously unhappy. Lisen to them!!

You are being horribly unfair to your kids by staying with this man. Imagine how your son feels having confided in you how he feels about his abusive dad and you’ve just stayed anyway? Time to put your kids first and leave. Speak to women’s aid for the safest way to do this

You Must leave! Your poor children, they must be living on the edge their wholes lives.
Put them first for a change.

Thank you for all your replies. I know I should have gone years ago but I always deluded myself that it was better to keep the family together. He kept saying he would change and I kept naively believing him.

I also didn't have the strength to do it I still don't really have the strength if I'm honest but I know that I need to.

Please go
Right now you and your children are all his victims.
leave and give your poor lovely son a chance .

Time to find the strength, you are just being part of the problem for your kids right now, time to do better

@Exhaustedconfused1 One of your children tried to kill themselves. That's how unhappy they are at home. If that doesn't push you to leave, then what will?

Your DH is all talk. Their child commits suicide and blames them, and they talk about going to counselling 'and reduce their aggression.' What does that even mean?

I'm sorry, I'm trying to find sympathy for you because you are a victim as well but if the near death of a child won't compel you to leave this man, then I don't know what else to say...

If you don’t leave this man you should at least call SS to get support for your son

SS are helping us

@Exhaustedconfused1 When you are that tired, that confused by a man who is so abusive, it really feels impossible to do anything.

Can you ask SS or better, Women's Advice, to help you plan how to leave?

The power is in your hands - if you can, take one step, then the next, then the next.

Your children need you now, lovely. You need them. Please take strength from this thread. Others have left awful men, and their children have flourished. So can you

The only thing you can do for your children and yourself is LEAVE!!!! You can’t and shouldn’t have therapy with an abuser and neither should your children!! My kids are 2000000% better since my husband and I split up and soo much happier

Go. Get yourself and DC away from him. Best thing I ever did. Dc will be so much better away from him, as will you. The sense of relief is indescribable. Good luck, use the help and get free.