People who weren't in a relationship by 30, how did your life turn out?

[AnyPomegranate]

I'm turning 30 soon and I'm feeling a little down about being single. I was engaged but unexpectedly split from my fiancée last year, and it's proven a little isolating - basically all of my friends are married to men they met in their early 20s and are busy with married life. I'm happy being single and would rather that than settle, but it is exhausting having to carry absolutely every emotional and financial decision alone, especially now my friends have less time for me.

People who weren't 'settled' by 30, how did your life turn out? I'd love to hear stories from both people who met their partners a bit later as well as people who are thriving in the single life. Thank you!

I was single at 30. Got together with a friend from work after 5 months - had 15 years of adventures and a child together but had to leave because he became an alcoholic (I should have seen it coming but I didn't recognise the signs then). A couple of traumatic years of adjusting to being a single parent and dealing with the aftermath. Settled, new job, new life - then accidentally met my partner out dancing. It has been five years of a long distance part time relationship which is perfect for my circumstances. He's opened up my world to many new experiences.

Life is long! 30 is so young! Focus on building a life you enjoy, travelling, meeting people, voluntary work, keep opening your horizons. I've had an amazing and very interesting life over the 21 years since I was 30, despite the hard times, and I hope I have a lot of fun still to come.

I was in a terrible relationship at 30, and my life was pretty directionless.

I got together with DP at 33 and we now have 2 DC, the first is off to uni next year. I had my second when I was 38.

Both DP and I wanted DC and thought we'd missed our chance. I knew DP through friends, had known him as a friend for some years.

All is definitely not over at 30, but if you want DC I would prioritise trying to meet someone.

If you haven't got an abusive arsehole to try to escape, you're way ahead of me aged 30!

Good luck OP!

Met my now DH at 32, married years both now late 50s. He has 3 kids so there was some adjustment on everyone’s part. My sister thought I was mad, in fact I think most people did. We didn’t move in together for a while as I liked the security of my own house. No kids together.

I sometimes look back on my single years with probably rose tinted specs, but I’m glad I did the stuff I did when single, a lot of travelling.

it is exhausting having to carry absolutely every emotional and financial decision

Marriage will make that harder not easier.

I was divorced by 30!! Very single.

Met up with an ex boyfriend and married him at 31. Divorced from him fifteen years later.

Moving in with my partner at 30 was the single stupidest thing I ever did. And the civil partnership wasn’t a great idea either.

Moving out & getting divorced at 40 was far more sensible, & at 53 I’m very happy, with a busy social life but just living with my cat.

I was in a lousy relationship twenties and thirties. My now husband was 39 when we got together and had had only a fleeting relationship many years previously. He assumed he’d be an old cat man. He isn’t he’s now got a life of worrying about me, my kids who he is now a wonderful parent figure to and having a very busy life.
The only difference I suppose is if you want kids. You should then prioritise meeting someone but seriously, you are still young, the world is out there, see things, try new stuff, find fulfilment in different ways. I regret not having space to do that in my 20s and 30s.

Single at 30. Met DH at 36, got together at 38, engaged at 39, Married at 41, DD born at 42. still very happy at 53.

Met DH at 30, married at 34. Had dcs at 39 and 41. I adore my dcs but in hindsight was afraid of being on my own and ignored warning signs. He is now an alcoholic and am planning divorce at 66.

After a few years in a relationship in my 20s, I was terminally single at 30. Fortunately I knew some older single women who were excellent role models so it didn't worry me.

Having said that, I woke up on my 35th birthday and wondered if maybe this time next year I might have a boyfriend. Reader, I was married shortly before my 36th birthday. Just celebrated 27th anniversary.

Keep the faith! 😊

Single at 30 and the same as you felt really horrible as everyone in my circle partnering up.
When I look back am grateful as I would have made totally the wrong choice then!
At 36 I met my husband - engaged 2 weeks later and married at 6 months.
Celebrating our 25th anniversary this year.

I am 30 and now single. My ex boyfriend just wanted different things to me and it hurts. But now I have holidays booked, I’m very close to passing my driving test, and I’ve got amazing friends and family. I just want my own family so these comments are giving me hope.

Was still single at 45. Had a couple of relationships and then single again at 52. Been single most of my adult life. Life has been reasonably good

I saw single for years, lived alone. Loved it. Did what I wanted. I never wanted children so that wasn't a factor.
Met my husband when I was 50. Married at 54. Now 65 and very happy.

Met DH at 35, married at 37, DC born at 39. Been married 27 years DC grown up. I've been very happy and like a pp grateful I waited to marry the right person.

Single till I was 40 when I met my DP. Not married (no plans to get married either) and been together 18 years now.

Single at 30, met DH at 37, had 2 children at 41 and 45, all good.

Met DH at 36, marries at 39, DC1 at 40, DC2 at 42. Very happy.

single at 30, met my now wife at 46 (she was 41) we married at 47 & 42 (first marriage for both of us) - still very happily married.

no children, but loads of godchildren and nephews and nieces (who range from 21 down to baby and poss. more on the way) - so we get to see all ages of parenting simultaneously! We are actively involved with many of them...

Single since I was 34 bar a short fling. Now 56 and very happily single. Life is peaceful (bar normal, elderly parent issues).

Married in my 30s, had 2 children shortly afterwards.......life isn't over for you by any means!

Started seeing my fiance at 37. 7 years later we are due to get married and i'm a full time step mum to his wee boy. I never wanted kids so my life is very different than i ever expected.

30 is young OP - you have plenty of time.

I thought you meant hadn’t had a relationship at all by the time you were 30.
I met my DH at 39, married at 40, first child 41, second at 43.

I was single at 30 and still single at 36 😂 this is an active choice for me though dating is a hellscape and not something I’m interested in. Lots of people meet partners in their 30s 40s and beyond.

I was single at 30 and next year I'll be single at 50. It is what it is. You cant sit there thinking about being single, you just have to watch everyone you know get married and by happy whilst remembering that things happen for a reason.