People who weren't in a relationship by 30, how did your life turn out?

[AnyPomegranate]

I'm turning 30 soon and I'm feeling a little down about being single. I was engaged but unexpectedly split from my fiancée last year, and it's proven a little isolating - basically all of my friends are married to men they met in their early 20s and are busy with married life. I'm happy being single and would rather that than settle, but it is exhausting having to carry absolutely every emotional and financial decision alone, especially now my friends have less time for me.

People who weren't 'settled' by 30, how did your life turn out? I'd love to hear stories from both people who met their partners a bit later as well as people who are thriving in the single life. Thank you!

Why? Not at all true in my marriage. Two brains are better than one, no?

I was thinking this. It’s a hell of a lot harder carrying every decision for multiple people for example if one of you becomes very unwell. Independence and making decisions that only affect you shouldn’t be particularly exhausting.

Broke off my engagement at 30. 10 years later I'm single again very much by choice, but with a child and co parenting very well in my (not so humble) opinion.
I'm very content, much more so than any time I've lived with a boy (that wasn't my offspring)!

Single at 30, met DH when I was 31, married at 32 x2 DC at 33 and 35
Don’t worry!!

Single from the age of 21, dated a lot but couldn’t meet anyone. Enjoyed single life, lived in flatshares, girly holidays. Met my partner at 32, baby at 34, married 8 months later. Love my life now but I do miss the freedom!

Alone every decision means doing the thing that is best for you. Simple.

If there are two of you, you have to reconcile two different "bests". Often they can't be reconciled. Complicated and stressful.

I Broke up with my live in BF at 29, thought my life was over and i'd be an old cat lady. I was honestly more focused on being married when with him because of the looming 3-0 vs my career, and he was an epic manchild and cheat. Whats for you won't go past you.

I Went into being 30 kind of just over it all and ready to be myself. It felt weirdly liberating being free. For whatever reason I decided mentally that I was done dating idiots to be married and have children, and i'd be ok waiting and adopting one day instead if it came to it. I went on 4 years of OLD. Eventually met the one who is now my DH. In those years though I travelled, saw friends, family, did all the fun experiences, moved countries, and truly focused on my career. We're still happily married almost 10 years later. We have two wonderful DC (naturally, didn't have to use my backup plan), and I somehow went pretty much to the top of my career ladder with a supportive DH and the right workplace. Now I look back and cringe at the bloke I used to be with when I didn't have a fully formed frontal lobe.

Broken heart at 29, met DH when I was 30. Married two years later and had DD two years after that. DDs are young adults now and we are still happily married. He is the person in the world I most like to spend time with.

I was in a relationship going nowhere at 30. I finished it, met my now DH at 31, had two children and still happily married at 45. Can't believe it's been that long writing it down. I have friends who were lucky that they met the right one in their early 20's but honestly they've had a variety of other problems. All the best.

Single most of my 30s. Few short term flings and one fwb. Loved my life. I dated but didn’t want to settle down or maybe just didn’t meet anyone I liked. Most of my friends were in relationships and having kids. Went to their weddings and went to some divorce parties.

Met DP 5 years ago in my 40s. Live together. Loosely talk about marriage but not desperate. Met a guy who is on the same wavelength. Enjoy each others company but happy to be independent.

I met dh at 33, married at 35, 3dcs by the time I was 40. We've been very happily married for 23 years. .

Shit. I stuck it out until my longterm partner, trying to make it work but realised eventually that it wouldn't.

However, I think I'm probably a more unusual person and things will likely be easier or better for you. Also, being single in your 30s as a middle class person that lives in gentle affluence is a different experience to being single and working class. For them, their lives can be filled with friends, wonderful travel, and beautiful home decorating.

For the rest of society, it's often a fucking uphill grind. Keep that in mind when you read positive responses here as a lot of Mumsnet is (apparently) middle class.

I split with my fiancé at 31 and met my now DH at 32 via work. We dated for a 18 months but then had a break because I was ready to settle down but he wasn’t. I didn’t feel I had time on my side and I wasn’t sure he’d ever commit to me, so we split. That was tough. I had thought he was the one and I was single again at 34. Anyway we reunited 6 months later and married soon after. Two DC followed in two years. We have now been married almost 25 years. It was worth the wait.

Friend and I got together when I was 31, married at 32, children very soon after, I had known him for 2 years when we started dating. Together close to 30 years had 2 children though sadly DD died. Retired early, I’m now 60 and he is 58. Currently touring round Ireland in a motorhome we bought last year for 6 weeks, 4 weeks in. Managed to climb Irelands highest peak this week, took a time but was what we loved doing forever till I had some difficult health issues that are now more under control.

I was engaged at 25 but had a breakup before the wedding that I found so traumatic that I stayed single until I was 35.

During that time I did an OU degree, bought a house (and got lovely women my age to rent the spare rooms, which helped with loneliness), and joined a sports team (also helped with loneliness).

My friend encouraged me to try online dating but I loathed it (most people didn't even respond). I only went on two dates. The first guy was perfectly nice - there was no spark but it really boosted my confidence. The second guy was OK, but grew on me (ha!) and we got married after 22 months. I really thought I'd be single forever, but when it happened it happened quickly.

Had a gorgeous child at 40 who is the light of my life. I feel very lucky to have been able to conceive.

I look back at my previous relationship and can see lots of issues I refused to acknowledge at the time. I think I'd have been unhappy if we'd have married without significant changes. He put me down a lot and my confidence was very low. I'm very happy and confident in myself now. Much more emotionally stable!

I also look back and wish I'd had the confidence when younger to just ask more guys out. I was too afraid of rejection, but now I would just think "oh well, clearly not the one, next!"