How do lone parents meet someone?

[TheCareBears]

This is aimed at lone parents that have no co parent, how did you date or meet someone again? Particularly If you have more than one child and you also didnt have family that would help out?. I am desperate to meet someone again but I can’t see how it’s possible so if you did meet someone again can you share how? Thanks

I really don’t think it is unless you have a lot of childcare on offer
I’m having to accept that I’ll likely not meet anyone else now which is depressing but I think I just have make the best of it

I’ve known a few people to but they didn’t say how and I didn’t want to pry so im hoping some people
might be willing to share

21 years and I haven't managed it yet.

why not, assuming they are adults now?

I think people do but they probably introduce their partner to their kids much earlier than they’ll admit or most people would feel appropriate.
i met someone when I still had 50:50 and even though I was with him 2.5 years I thoroughly regret letting my little boy get attached to him as the most upsetting thing when we split was his reaction to never being able to see him again. Tore my heart out. It’s been almost a year and he still asks why we can’t see him anymore and the other day he said ‘can you not just give him one last chance ‘ 😭

(Deleted double post)

Perhaps they do, I use to judge introductions early on but I don’t anymore.

My DS is 13 and I haven't managed it. Been a lone parent since he was born, just have to get on with it,... I always thought by the time he was a teenager i might be inclined to try Internet dating, but I'm now at that stage I can't be arsed - rampant apathy has settled in! Plus as they get older it's nice to get some time back for yourself.

That sounds like you’ve chosen not to date which is different

Hopefully that doesnt sound snappy as not my intention but I’m wondering if anyone has managed to:)

The only way to manage it is for it to be someone you work with or can meet while kids are at school at the start. And have them around the kids much earlier then you should which is bad for the kids. Too many men in and out of there lives is damaging

I honestly would like to know this, too.
I had a guy I knew from the past ask to take the kids out together one time which I think would be a nice start. I just couldn’t help but feel it was a kind of date with our kids so I didn’t end up going.

FYI - The kids meaning me and my kids and him and his children

That would be an ideal way actually. Sadly I don’t have anyone from the past like that.

You could always do it with someone you get talking to. Don’t rush and go to an extremely local play area to you. You could have bumped into him in the play area for all you knew! Also you get to see how well of a dad he is and if your kids could potentially click. If it didn’t work out you leave and no hard feelings.

16yrs in and I haven't. I've not had the childcare or brain space.

If I didn't work I would have had time to socialise and a bigger "village" for support. But paying the bills, not getting sacked for kids illness and not having a nervous breakdown was my priority.

Dont think I’d do it with a stranger but someone I already knew would be ok

So true. You speak for most on this comment.

16 years would be old enough to babysit? Unless you are choosing not to date which is another thread I guess

Yeah i hear that and I don’t think I would either. Just a suggestion. I am in the same boat as you.

people speak about child minders coming to your home, but I just don’t like the idea of that at all.

I have a babysitter I trust and pay a hefty sum if I want to go on dates
cba though anymore happy alone

I looked at sitters but it’s like £60 on top of a night out? Thats just a bit much for me. I think PP is right and people are just introducing quicker or having them over when kids in bed etc

I dated a couple of times when dc were younger. It was people I knew in some capacity so felt ok to have them over after dc were in bed. Now they are teenagers that’s not an option as they are up later, likely to wake etc. Now after years of working and lone childcare but no longer on the school run/at the park, parties or soft play due to their age the chance to meet anyone is further limited. I’ve tried internet dating and it was awful - never again. Again that was easier with a different job where I was available in the day time some days when they were at school. Now I’d get the third degree about where I was going plus I work evening shifts in a pub at the weekends (all young ones so no chance of meeting anyone there either)

Always a mistake to assume.

The youngest has SEND so I'm his full time carer.

Yes but there wasn’t any context and some people choose not to date