Boyfriend's creepy comment

[Gutfeelingoverload]

Name changed as mortified.
I've been told I need a colonoscopy and will need someone to pick me up and stay with me afterwards overnight. I asked my boyfriend and he made a "joke" about being able to do what he likes to me when sedated.
It repulsed me and I told him it was a bit sinister that he'd said that. We've been together for several years but not living together. He's fine most of the time but occasionally comes out with comments like this which I find unsettling and a massive turn off. He then goes into a mood when I complain. Each time this happens he goes down in my estimation. What would you do?

When I've previously had to go for a smear test, which he knows I hate, he said "ooh can I watch?" In a lecherous way.🙄

Fucking gross. What a weirdo. I am fortunate to have dated and married good men who do not have these character flaws, they are out there. You should find one and ditch this creep.

Creepy.

Dump him.

You could never trust him and relax around him if you lived with him anyway.

Awful thing to say when you will be at your most vulnerable. I’ve been sedated twice this year and my dp was my rock and I was completely dependent on him ( like you we don’t live together) . I felt so safe with him and you should feel that way with your partner too! Good luck with your procedure, that’s traumatic as it is without your partner making jokes about sexually assaulting you. :(

I think you need to trust your gut on this one OP

⬆️ this

He’s a creep. Get him gone and run as far as u can. This will end badly if you don’t

Totally disgusting comment. He sounds vile.

You’re going to be vulnerable and needing help
and his mind went immediately to how he could assault you and get away with it?

grim

He sounds insensitive at best and sinister at worst. Only you can tell which end of the spectrum he’s on.

Doesn't inspire trust, does it.

So he's exited by you undergoing things that make you uncomfortable and defenceless, this one needs to go Op

Sounds like something my pervy, sex pest ex would say. Yuck.

Ewwwwww. That is all

Given what he’s said about other things I think it’s just him being gross and he think he’s be funny

all that is irrelevant it’s an unpleasant thing to say and more than likely your at no risk but it plants a seed and would put anyone on edge because it makes you think there’s always that what if

I think it’ll be a difficult think to forget or move on from it’s really damaging and I think it’s the beginning of the end for your relationship

I would dump him as well

Choose the damn bear. This guy's a stone creep. He's got the mindset of a sexual predator that would commit sex crimes including rape if he thought he could get away with it. You're not safe with him.

What does he bring to your life to offset his creepy sleep rape talk?

Predator networks exist and men upload content. Don't be that content.

There are occasionally men like him in health care that get caught assaulting their patients. There's Dominic Pelicot. There's your bf and he's told you he would like to. I'd take that very seriously and end it.

Many a true word is spoken in jest.

This is one of those times.

Yikes. He’s just outed himself as someone who is unsafe.

I hope he's now your ex!

My thoughts too, this being the sort of jokey comment that men would make to their mates if one of them was to be in that position, but pay attention to your feelings.

A colonoscopy is fine without sedation and is nowhere near as bad as drinking the awful laxative beforehand. If you do have sedation, it doesn't make you feel dopey, just happy, and you'll be back to normal after an hour.

He's revolting and will always think like that even if he learns not to say stuff in front of you. Dump him.

Women already have to go through more than enough painful procedures without sedation. You might not have had issues and been fine without, but a lot of others do have issues and it can ease discomfort and anxiety. So just stop advocating for no sedation for others just because it works for you.

Sedation is standard for a colonoscopy where I am and that's with insurance companies trying to cheap out everywhere and anyway they can.

So you're going for an invasive medical procedure and his first thought was how he could rape you?

I would not say it is painful, more uncomfortable. And as the other person says, drinking those horrible laxatives (taste, texture) and then the going to loo all the time is far, far worse than the procedure.

Good for you. That doesn't mean it isn't painful for others.

I can't imagine advocating for or wanting women to go without pain control and or sedation for invasive diagnostic procedures. That's what you're advocating for. It's like the barbaric old days. Maybe we should take our own sticks and washcloths to bite down on. 🙄