Should I speak to my former best friend after ghosting her?

[Daisymon]

I ghosted my best friend 5 years ago as she was on the defense for no reason and called me lazy with the emphasis on the word lazy for not working. It really upset me as I was in pain after a virus and couldn’t work and she judged.

She sent a birthday card and Christmas card a few weeks later and I never responded. I know I should have told her but my mental health was in a bad place.

In December 2025 I messaged her as her old best friend she fell out with at school had died. She said thanks for letting me know and I said ok and that was it.

Tomorrow she is at a local open history day and will have a stand promoting her art and face painting. Should I try and speak to her? I have dreamt about her lately. I miss her at times but she might reject me or be nasty. Or if she does want to make up I risk being disrespected again as it wasn’t the first occasion she had done this.

I have posted about her before and got mixed responses.

Thanks..

Why bother? Sounds like she hasn’t exactly
been trying to have contact with you for best part of 5 years.

Just avoid her stand

She’s working. She won’t want any drama.

She’s over it.

I would leave it, there is no reason to rekindle this friendship

No I’d leave it.

I suspect @Daisymon wanted us to say that she should approach this ex friend

Go up to her stand if you like, and be friendly. Don’t try to have any deeper conversation about the whole situation.

But if you can’t handle her sharing her opinion of your condition, don’t rekindle the friendship.

There is no need to avoid her stand, you could just say hello as you're walking past and if she doesn't start a conversation just leave it at that

I think it depends on whether her art and face painting are any good.

You didn’t ghost her as it doesn’t look like beyond a birthday card and Christmas card she made any attempt to contact you in past 5 years. In fact, the only contact in 5 years has been instigated by you In December 2025 I messaged her as her old best friend she fell out with at school had died. She said thanks for letting me know and I said ok and that was it.

You were the one putting in the effort and when you stopped… it fizzled out.

It is because I blocked her on Facebook and WhatsApp but she was never blocked on my phone. She never attempted to ring to sort things so thanks for pointing out it was me making the effort. I shouldn’t blame myself.

But you made an effort in 2025 after blocking her on social media 5 years ago so, yes, you did ghost her but you felt you had reason to do so. Surely if she were truly important to you, you would have reached out sooner. It sounds like she’s moved on so, yes, she might reject you. For her sake also, i think it’s best to leave her alone and not approach her at her stand as she will be trying to work and drum up business.

Would it be possible to seek to have a reset to a civil and polite relationship - like you would have with a neighbour? Are you both capable of light non emotional interactions? Would this help take the pressure off bumping into her at other times. I would drop by very briefly as shes working but be bright and breezy.

If someone blocked me on Facebook and WhatsApp there is absolutely no way I’d ring them. That’s borderline stalkerish. Blocking makes it clear you don’t want to speak!

If you’re going out of your way to visit this art fair thing just to make yourself feel better about dropping her, don’t bother. I’ve dropped lots of friends. It’s called having boundaries. Pointless to try and rekindle; I believe a lot of friendships have an expiry date anyway

Thank you all for your helpful replies. I remember now a lot of times when she was being patronising or belittling I would think I can’t wait to get home and not have to see her for months. You shouldn’t feel that way after being with a friend. I am a different person now and would call out bad behaviour. I suppose I miss the idea of her but can’t be friends with someone who is only nice 50% of the time.

This is completely mad. 'Should I rekindle a relationship with a friend who was not very nice to me a lot of the time?'

She sounds horrible and she called you lazy because you were ill fuck sake

You've moved on, she's moved on, leave it at that, definitely don't go to her stand. Maybe find a hobby that gets you mixing with people