Anyone decided to be more authentic in their relationships and what effect did it have?

[malificent7]

Bear with me.
Dh is a lovely man but we have some issues. When I first met him I tried to please him as we were head over heels which meant I wasn't always true to myself.
For example..he has a hobby he is very intense about ( i suspect asd). I used to try it but it didn't grab me really and I started to feel resentful about the amount of time he spent doing it, worries about being compatible and him meeting other women through said hobby. I also felt he was prioritising the hobby over family life which thankfully i no longer feel due to councelling.
I acknowlwdge this was my insecurity as he used to do said hobby with ex.
Since councelling I have decided I will not participate in said hobby ...i will pursue my own intetests while he is busy with that.
I am polite and do not slag his hobby off even though it's not my thing and I find some of the people involved hard work/ bitchy/ not my kind of people. I gave also met some lovely people through this passtime.
On one hand I feel liberated and happier...i encourage him to go and do it so i get my own time.
In other ways I feel worried that we will grow apart and that he has more in common with his ex than me.
I want to support him even though the hobby is not my thing at all. Part of me feels I am being stubborn in not embracing this hobby.
Fwiw he does support my hobies too although
Am i making sense?

I understand OP.
My ex fiance was mad on swimming. He also liked watching other women swimming. I went to keep my eye on him. I hated swimming!!!
Even hid his kit once so he couldn't go.
It wore me out.
Eventually we split (nothing to do with swimming or women).
It was a relief not to have to think about it.
Only then did I realise what a creep he was watching other women and telling me about it.
I ended the relationship.

If this man is right for you then you won't drift apart.
If you do then you deserve better and will meet someone else xx

Some great feedback here.
A while back i got upset as dh went and spoke to a very beautiful woman who shared his hobby and "forgot" to introduce me even though I was standing next to him. Apparently he was " excited" to talk to her as she was talented!! Hmmm.
After much grovelling on his part I calmed down and now I dont care anymore.
If he does get his head turned then so be it. I wont know as ill be too busy forging my own way.

My partner is into drumming. I have the gross motor skills of a drunken rhinoceros.

My ex husband liked hiking and playing/watching/living his life via football. I… had friends, and family, and stuff to do of my own.

I hope this answers your question.

A relationship that hinges on you faking an interest in Morris Dancing to ensure he doesn’t have an affair doesn’t sound to me like a recipe for success.

Hmmm I think you need to let go of your insecurities and replace them with confidence from your new classes.

No one can “steal” your man from you - if they are going to go, they go willingly and there is not much you can’t do about that.

Not introducing you was rude. I’d be miffed at the poor manners, not jealous.

Go and do your thing. I am a big fan of separate interests. I think it gives you more to talk about when you are together.

Enjoy yourself.

Dont worry.
I have so little in common with my wife its become a standing joke.
I love and work in live music. She hates flashing lights and things like that. She loves fashion and reality tv. I have zero concept of fashion and cannot stand reality tv. I love camping. Camping is like torture to her.
I am a huge geek and love science fiction. My wife hates it. I read a ton of books, I always have a book on the go. My wife has read maybe three in the 20 plus years we've been together.
We are exact opposites on so many things. If we used a dating app it would never in a million years put us together.
But that works. We both get each other. I can act silly and make her laugh.
She is always the first person I want to tell whenever something exciting happens. Just as I am who she wants at her side when the world seems dark.
We parent together as a team and always know exactly when the other would say or do. So many times we answer a question from anyone at the same time with the same words.
We compliment each other. I love that I have my own world in live music and a ton of stories to talk with her about. Just as much as I love hearing about her day and all of her interests.
I cant imagine how boring life would be if we both loved the same things.