Found disturbing porn on partner's computer and not sure how to feel

[muffinmunch]

i hope this is the right place for this, i dont know where else to try on here.
how do you handle men with disgusting porn?

dp out at pub this eve, was using his pc for printing, with his knowlege.
i noticed he had some of our holiday photos on there, so was flicking thru them after finishing up.

i then saw some videos in his media files, obvious porn, i smirked at first as he is quite str8 laced and would be v embarrassed if people knew he had porn. but no biggie i thought, most men prob have a few secret vids or mags stashed away, no?

i knew right away it was porn as the title of was one "private" and I remember when we started going out (2 yr) i found a mag of the same name in his bedside drawer. i didnt mind (it was obv from when he was single) and thought it was funny to see him blushing. never thought of it since.

the other was called ' betty screws the crew' (DONT google it) and curiosity got the better of me, i wish it handt! i felt naughty to have a quick peek but my god i was disgusted and shocked, struck numb that anyone could find this sexy. think 2 girls 1 cup, but to the nth degree.

im not sure if i ma more disgusted or shocked or what. i dont feel angry just weird.

i dont even know what to ask i just wanted to tell someone! i obv wont look at him the same after this, how could i? should i confront him? is this harmless as long as its just some fetish in a video?

help! what to think!

nb - this is an AI thread title btw, it suggested it as mine was obv rubbish!

Cup??

Yup. Do not google it 🤮

I think the vast majority of men access it and its really disturbing because it's not harmless ..its full of harm.
I'm super grateful I'm older, so formative relationships were before the internet truly took hold

I don’t know what cup is and don’t want to look it up because of all that’ll come with it.

Yes, harmful and horrible. A worm in his mind. It must be nearly impossible to get rid of too.

Death grip is a real thing.
Desensitisation to "normal" sex is also a thing.
He wont stop if you confront him, he will get better at hiding it.

If you continue you have to live with that.

I did Google😥 Found it has to do with poop?? 🤮

I googled it 🤮🤮🤮🤮. And apparently that's mild compared to what OP found.

OP, I'm not sure how I would feel. Very, very freaked out. I think I would have to talk about what he gets out of it.

2 females eating poo basicly

I don't understand. How is feces sexy? Am I odd?

Jesus how is that a turn on?!

Thank you.

It must be a fetish. How strange and as it has a sort of nick-name (‘cup’) it must be popular.

It is difficult to see how sex comes into it. There could just be two naked women eating chocolate, but presumably something much more happens.

It would be difficult to see your DH in the same way again I should think.

If this is true. I would never ever ever want to see him again talk to him or anything. I would literally never want to be in the same room as him ever ever again. He is not right in the head looking at stuff like that. He really isn’t.

I would be telling him to go and go quietly and quickly with no hassle out of my life. I would be telling him with a friend next to me. I would never be in the same room as him alone again. Depraved.

I googled it. It didn't shock me but I do find it grim (nothing shocks me with men anymore, hence why I haven't had a partner for 8 years - bliss!).

He may not get turned on by it, blokes watch all kinds of weird shite (excuse the pun!) for all kinds of reasons, but it depends on what bothers you about it. Is it bothering you that he might be turned on by faeces? Or does it bother you that he has such objectifying material on his personal computer? Or both?

Really? Dammit, I'm usually good at spotting them!

Yeah I googled it. It's gross. But yeah scat is a fetish. I have no idea how.

I would have to ask him about it. I just would have to. DH and I are quite open with eachother about what porn we watch.

Honestly I would assume he's probably been sent it by a bloke. I remember 2 girls 1 cup being sent round everybody when we were teenagers. And a video of three guys having a sex train. So it pops up on your screen while you're in class or something, there was a way to rig it so it opened over and over and you couldn't clear it off your screen. It was a twat teenage boy thing. But we all know they don't really grow up most of them.

If it was a fetish he has, he wouldn't just have one video.

That’s revolting and he would never be coming anywhere bear me again.

That's an unusual username for someone who just got the major ick?

Why oh why did I open this thread

Well everyone is different i guess, it never fails to surprise me what some people are into, it doesn’t make it right though, some people are just into some disgusting stuff, only you can decide whether you find the content acceptable or not in your relationship, the only exception is illegal content, that is non-negotiable and however much you love someone you have to stand by your morals and report them.

hi all

just to say thank to people who replied; there was some misunderstanding with this thread where I had been accused by someone of being a pervert and so it was deleted and I was banned for a few days. But it was just a misunderstanding and resolved now.

so that was a big help lol, being accused of being what i now see dp as being! (kidding)

to answer some of the qs people asked:

• its not so much objectification I was annoyed at - objectification is everywhere anyway and I expect many people do or have used porn. it was more the content which shocked me and im thinking "is this what he want to do with me?" !?! i dont get it at all, my friend says the kink is connected with power exchange and humiliation, i dont even think i really understand what she means
• i dont really know what i think of him looking at it? obv i dont like it myself, but i dont get how he could find it sexy. maybe its just the spectacle of it, the way ppl gape at car accidents or those tacky sex shows in benidorm (yes ive been reading the sex forum lol)

i have not discussed it with him. he obviously detects something on my mind as a couple of times he has asked if i am ok / bothered by anything, but i have just brushed it off and been distant.

i wish i had not looked now and feel ignorance is bliss!

other than here I have discussed it with a friend, who thought it was hilarious and says at least it wasnt illegal. not much help and is that even right?

thanks!

That would turn my stomach. I couldn’t go near a man who was watching that.
And I very much the women were there for fun in that film - probably trafficked, under threat and coerced. Absolutely grim.

Agree. Or those girls are so traumatised by sexual abuse that they think this is ok.

God, there seems to be no limit to male sexual grotesquerie. How absolutely vile 🤢🤢🤢

so we eventually spke about it
i basically demanded 'why are you watching ppl sh*tting on women?' as he sat at the table yesterday. i didnt see any point in using flowery language and his face was a picture

at first it was angry denial till i said i found it when using the pc, then it switched to anger about me "snooping". but all deflection really

when calmer he admitted watching / downloading it. says he deletes the vids after watching them, not leaving evidence (except this time!). says he really gets off on them, but sometimes it gives him the ick if he has a reality check

i asked how is it even sexy, tho at least the viewers will be spared the smell in the room! he says he likes the ideas of taboo, degredation, boundary pushing

we at least talked abt it and didnt fall out, other than his initial reaction to being doorstepped like that. so i am pleased at that, but stilll cant look at him the same!

i dont know what to think, beyond that he is a dirty c*nt! cant imagine him being anywhere near me currently!