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Relationships

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Is he in the wrong?

48 replies

Pippa1979 · 28/07/2026 07:49

Im 47F, hes 46M. We have been on and off for 18 months. He went through a nasty divorce after she cheated, then moved the guy in. Hes had some mental health stuff since and been hot and cold as a result.

We booked a Barcelona trip, he had a wobble so I had to draft a friend in to go instead and pay a name transfer fee. It was the same amount he had already paid for the trip. He wanted his money back.
We then booked 2 april gig tickets, which I paid for. He bought us 2 august gig tickets of the same value.
We went for our anniversary trip, he had another wobble and we split. I had to draft a friend on for the april gig. The friend didnt like the band so I just gave him the ticket so I didn't have to go alone.

Now the august gig is coming up he told me he still has a spare for it. His friends are already going to that gig, so he wont be alone.
I said how much. He said £60. I said I cant afford that. He said ok I will sell it. He said you should have gone to the other gig alone and sold my ticket. I said it wouldnt have been safe walking through those streets alone. He said I would have. He also said months ago he went to a u2 gig alone and felt sad. But doesn't seem to get.

I just treated him to a birthday meal, drove him to a gig so he could drink and bought him a ukelele. We went to the beach on his birthday. For my birthday in may we were split, so I went to the beach alone. Feels like I lose out every time.

Do i raise it with him? Do i pay for the ticket. It feels like Im being a doormat doing so

OP posts:
RoseField1 · 28/07/2026 07:51

Why are you stressing about a £60 ticket when you're in a clearly failing relationship? The ticket is a symptom of the dysfunction.

cannibalfish · 28/07/2026 07:53

Honestly op get rid, you don’t have to fix this manchild.

summitfever · 28/07/2026 07:56

Mate you are flogging a dead horse here, let him keep his ticket, draw a line and move on. This is going absolutely nowhere and you are prolonging your own agony. You always lose out because he’s crap. That’s the simple answer.

whistlesandbells · 28/07/2026 07:56

“He went to a U2 gig”… LTB for this alone.

The man is a tight-fisted, flaky jerk. He has loads of issues, messes you around and takes advantage of you.

Cut contact and leave him with his ticket to deal with it himself. Block. You can do better than him.

HappyToSmile · 28/07/2026 08:01

Sorry, does he want you to pay for your ticket to thw gig, or pay for the spare

Motnight · 28/07/2026 08:02

Leave him with his ukulele.

PersephoneParlormaid · 28/07/2026 08:03

Bar him and move on.

Fluffyscrubberdo · 28/07/2026 08:03

Why are you bothering?? This sounds awful!

FlatCatYellowMat · 28/07/2026 08:04

He had the wobble and decided on the split, he eats the costs.

Stop getting him stuff, and make the split permanent.

whippersnapper55 · 28/07/2026 08:05

So you're back with him after he's messed you about? Dump him, he sounds ridiculous!

BauhausOfEliott · 28/07/2026 08:07

You’re 47 years old and you’re putting up with ‘on and off’ for 18 months and all this petty angst? Honestly, this sounds like a dysfunctional relationship between a pair of teenagers.

Just end it. You’ve only been with this bloke five minutes and it’s been constant drama and hurt for the entire time. Relationships aren’t meant to be this exhausting, you know.

Pippa1979 · 28/07/2026 08:07

He wants me to pay for the august ticket as he didnt go to the april gig after splitting up with me

OP posts:
RoseField1 · 28/07/2026 08:09

And you aren't going to this gig?
Don't pay him, don't go with him, don't see him again is my advice

grinandslothit · 28/07/2026 08:09

Forget about the tickets and the money and just block this guy

FlatCatYellowMat · 28/07/2026 08:10

He didn't pay for the April ticket though - so why would you pay for the August one?

And he caused both of the splits - he caused the money loss, he has to deal with that.

raspberryrisotto · 28/07/2026 08:11

Yeah, nah. Cut your losses and run far, far away from this one.

Shoxfordian · 28/07/2026 08:12

Why are you wasting your time op?

Springtimeinsunshine · 28/07/2026 08:14

Do i raise it with him? Do i pay for the ticket. It feels like Im being a doormat doing so

None of the above. You ditch him because he isn't good boyfriend/partner material. And no decent man compares what he would do when a woman admits vulnerability regarding her safety, that's just not on.

Edit Didnt he instigate the April split causing you financial loss? Don't pay for the August ticket, tell him it's his belated birthday present to you, or he could sell his new ukulele to cover it. Block him immediately afterwards. What a loser to be whinging about tickets.

BobbysDazzler · 28/07/2026 08:16

Pippa1979 · 28/07/2026 08:07

He wants me to pay for the august ticket as he didnt go to the april gig after splitting up with me

Tell him it's in place of the birthday present he missed for you, or just dump him, he sounds a knob tbh.

arethereanyleftatall · 28/07/2026 08:19

My jaw is on the floor (above where your bar is) that your question is ‘do I raise it with him?’

I thought your op was a joke I’m afraid op, I was waiting for the punch line.

why on earth would you still be with a man who causes you so much stress and angst?

dump him. Obviously. And learn to enjoy being single so that you’re not ruining your peace handwringing about why some complete loser does this or that.

foxinasnowstorm · 28/07/2026 08:23

whistlesandbells · 28/07/2026 07:56

“He went to a U2 gig”… LTB for this alone.

The man is a tight-fisted, flaky jerk. He has loads of issues, messes you around and takes advantage of you.

Cut contact and leave him with his ticket to deal with it himself. Block. You can do better than him.

I agree with all of this sentiment! OP are you sure he’s not seeing someone else as well? The flakiness seems strategic to me. Move on 💜

Macaroni46 · 28/07/2026 08:23

Pippa1979 · 28/07/2026 08:07

He wants me to pay for the august ticket as he didnt go to the april gig after splitting up with me

No way. He chose not to go and let you down, again. He’s a flaky tight-arse. Time to get rid.

Itshotinherebutainttakingoffmyclothes · 28/07/2026 08:25

The first paragraph it’s self is enough to say you should block him and move in. After the rest the fact you think there is a future together is gap dropping.

OldrNWisr · 28/07/2026 08:26

You are wasting your life with this man.

honeylulu · 28/07/2026 08:26

But you are now split? Is that right? If so you needn't have anything to do with him. He can do what he likes with the August gig ticket - sell it, take someone else, whatever. No idea why he thinks you should pay for it or is even talking to you about it. He didn't pay you for April and this situation was the same as that one - you bought with him in mind but he didn't go, by choice.

He sounds like a right whiny pain. Messes you around but wants his money back, I mean, get real!

I'm not condoning his wife cheating but I can see why she got sick of him.

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