Hi, I'm new to all this so... Firstly I'd like to start by stating that I've kept this thread gender neutral, just in the interest of fairness/non biased opinion... Ok a bit of backstory, I've been with my partner for just over 10 years, we have two young children together. Now from day one the father in law has taken a very serious dislike to me, lately this dislike is looking more and more like hatred, I should state that I've kept my distance over the years, mostly because of the awkwardness of someone disliking me to that extent, although I've always been polite and respectful in return and have never done anything to offend or upset that side of the family, I should add that in all the decade plus of the relationship there's never been a solid reason given for their hatred of me,(the mother in law recently began to act very badly toward me also)nothing "concrete" as it were. Recently, in the last few months things have become really unbelievably awful with the F.I.L. towards me, I'd go into details but who the Hell would believe me! My partner has become increasingly shocked at his behaviour and things are becoming unbearable, now i should stress at this point that this is a completely one sided fight, the father in law is giving 100% of the offence and abuse, and I am giving literally no abuse or offence in return, now the other night, my partner basically said words to the effect of, "I know he's treating you appallingly and its all completely unfair, and I've no idea why he's doing this to you, BUT, he's been good to me so there's no way I'm taking your side", now I was completely shocked by this, basically it doesn't make any difference if he's 100% the aggressor and you on the receiving end because he pays for things for me. I just feel abandoned, alone, betrayed and bewildered. Personally it wouldn't matter to me what someone had done for me, if they attacked my partner for no identifiable reason or any loved one for that matter I'd run defence for them almost automatically, but not it seems in this situation, my partner said they couldn't pick a side because of all the things they'd done for them, I replied that if it was the other way around I couldn't think of a scenario in which it would be EASIER for me to pick a side. Im not asking for my partner to DO anything by the way, or take any action, they "can't stand up to him", it would just be nice to have the parent of my children put their arm around me and say "Its ok, you're not alone, its awful what's happening to you and I've always got your back", thats about it, what I actually got is, I'm definitely not one your side, he pays for my holidays. Am I wrong to feel so wounded by this? Any advice or opinions are welcome. Thanks. X